Chapter
21
“Mom, we’re fine,” Leslie Carter spoke into
her sister’s cell phone. BJ refused to let her call from Kevin’s house.
For some strange reason she did not want their mother to know exactly
where they were.
Jane Carter’s voice sounded everything
but relieved as she repeated her question, “Where ARE you?”
“I can’t tell you that Mom…”
“Where’s your sister?”
BJ took the phone from Leslie’s hands,
“Mom, we’re fine. Nick’s not on tour anymore and we’re with him.”
“What do you mean Nick’s not on tour
anymore? And why would you two leave out in the middle of the night to…”
“Think about it Mom, think long and
hard,” BJ spoke sarcastically, then she hung up. She closed her phone and
set it down on Kevin’s glass coffee table.
“What the hell did you do that for?”
Leslie asked staring at her sister wide-eyed, “She was already mad!”
BJ shrugged, “Not my problem.”
“Did you call your Mom?” Brian entered
the living room with a can of soda.
“Yeah,” BJ replied, “Has Nick had
anything to eat yet?”
“AJ’s taking some soup up to him,”
Brian said with a sigh. He rubbed his temples and stared at the blank TV
screen in front of the couch, “Please God let us be able to pull this off.”
“Nick, buddy I brought you something
to…” AJ was about to open the door to Nick’s room, and paused at the disturbing
noises coming from inside. He pushed himself inside the room to find Nick
with his head over a trashcan heaving his insides. AJ set the tray of
soup and crackers down on a dresser and went to Nick, he sat beside him on
the carpet and rubbed his back. After a few minutes Nick shoved the
trashcan away from his face and began wiping his mouth with the back of his
hand vigorously. He was perspiring and trembling at the same time.
His dull blue eyes looked at AJ coolly, “What do you want?”
AJ fought back his urge to smile, Nick
looked like a cross toddler who had just woken up from a nap, “Are you
ok?”
Nick grunted, then moaned, “No!
AJ, I gotta get out of here.”
“You wanna come downstairs with the
others?” AJ asked, knowing exactly what kind of “out” Nick wanted, but not
giving it to him.
Nick rolled his eyes, “Just let me go
out and get something to… to tide me over until tomorrow. I won’t ask for
anything else. I’ll stop after this, I promise. Just please let me
go out and get some tonight.” Nick’s eyes were huge and pleading, they
began to fill with tears as he saw the negative look on AJ’s face, “You can’t
keep me here!” Nick cried, tears falling from his eyes. He wrapped his
arms around himself in a futile attempt to calm his shivers.
“Nick, did you tell your little
sisters that you would try? Are you going to let them down Nick?
Are you going to kick them in the stomach, Nick? Cause that’s what
it feels like when someone you love is purposefully hurting himself and
you can’t stop him; and you can’t trust him.”
Nick’s glassy eyes looked past AJ,
“I…I… God it hurts! It hurts everywhere!” He sobbed relentlessly and AJ
did his best to hold him, “I just need a little bit… a tranquilizer, anything.”
He gagged again, and AJ reached for the trashcan and held it under
him as he vomited. AJ winced at the harsh sounds, and ran his hand
through Nick’s thick, sweaty, mass of dark blond hair.
“It hurts, it hurts,” he kept saying,
“Please let me out, I just need a little bit.”
AJ ignored his words, but held onto
him. It looked like Nick eating dinner was out of the question for today.
He watched the steam from the soup on the counter continue to get thinner
and wispier, until it was gone. Nick’s whimpering had settled down a bit.
AJ raised Nick’s head a little bit to discover that he was asleep.
AJ sighed in relief. Seeing Nick that way broke his heart, and he
knew that the next time Nick woke up, it would be much worse. He
wondered… He hoped… that he could handle it.
***
