Chapter 1
Brian raised his baby blue eyes to
watch his friends slip into his hotel room. They had been worrying about him
non-stop since his attitude had changed. He was no longer the care free joker
that he had once been. He didn’t want to go out to the movies with them or go
to dinner. It seemed almost as if he didn’t even want to hang out with them any
longer. They all thought the change had been brought about by his sudden
divorce to Leigh. Brian had refused to talk about it or release any details
about why the two came to the decision.
But they were wrong.
Brian buried his head into his pillow
hoping to hide his tear-stained features from them. He knew Kevin would become
‘Super Dad’ if he caught him crying, and Howie and Nick would become his
incredible side kicks. And AJ would be the villain. He’d laugh and tell him to
suck it up. That ‘real men never cried’. It wasn’t that he didn’t want their
help, he just knew they couldn’t help him. Whatever was wrong with was his
problem, and no one could help him.
“Brian?” Kevin’s worried voice drifted through the feather comforter that he
had pulled up over his head. “Are you alright? We were heading out and we
thought we heard you crying.”
That was one thing he had forgotten.
Being ‘Super Dad’ gave Kevin these weird powers. He could hear when one them
starting crying from across the entire hotel.
“I’m fine Kev.” He mumbled into the
pillow. “I must have been snoring or talking in my sleep. Now if you don’t
mind, I’d like to get back to sleep.”
He silently prayed that Kevin bought
his cheesy lie. Lying was one thing that he wasn’t very good at. And to top
that off ‘Super Dad’ also had the power to detect any lie.
“Alright.” Kevin sighed. “I don’t
believe you but I can tell you don’t want to talk. I’ll stop by when we get back.
Then you tell me everything.”
‘Whatever you say Super Dad.’ He
thought bitterly ‘But you still won’t be able to help me. Only one person can
help me. And he must never know.’
Brian sighed in relief when he heard
Kevin herd everyone out of his room. Sitting up, he looked around blankly. Only
one person could help him. And Brian would never let that person find out the
truth.
That person was Nick. And he could
never find out Brian’s secret because it would ruin their friendship forever.
Brian knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, so he wouldn’t risk his and Nick’s
bond. He’d dies if they lost that. And what was it he needed?
He needed Nick.
It was true. Backstreet Boys little
choir boy was gay. He wasn’t ashamed of it. Not in the least bit. He had had a
couple relationships with men. Then when he joined the group he decided to try
and go for women. He had to protect his new found friends’ images. He had dated
many women, hell, he even married one! But none of them ever meant as much to
him, or made him as happy as any of his male partners did.
And then he found his worst fear
coming true. He was falling in love with one of his band mates. He tried to
force himself to stop but he couldn’t. You can’t help who you fall in love with
and you sure as hell can’t stop it. He freaked out, to put it lightly, and
purposed to Leigh on a whim. He figured if he married her, he could get Nick
out of his mind. But it didn’t work. Being trapped in a relationship where you
didn’t love the person only seemed to heighten his need for Nick, his forbidden
love.
And that was what is was meant to be.
Forbidden. He could never have Nick and he knew Nick would hate him if he found
out. Nick wasn’t homophobic, but he certainly wasn’t wild about those kind of
people. He had been with Nick a few times where Nick had made fun of some gay
men, or lesbian women. Every time Brian would go home and cry himself to sleep,
knowing that that just made the ditch between him and Nick wider. A few times
Leigh had caught him crying and asked him what was wrong. He had never been
able to tell her. And that is what drove her to file for the divorce. She had
no trust in him or for him. It hurt, but he was relieved that she had done it
for him. He couldn’t lie to himself any longer. He couldn’t be in a
relationship with a woman again.
Now he faced the impossible task of
telling the rest of the guys with out having Nick find out. He couldn’t stand
being the butt of jokes for the one he loved. Maybe he’d tell Kevin tonight
when he stopped by to talk. ‘Super Dad’ would understand. That’s another one of
his many powers.
So it was decided. Tonight he would
tell Kevin.
***
