Chapter
3:
Painful Findings
Anna raced through the hallways towards her office. Tears
poured down her cheeks. She had survived the interview by not looking at him.
Quickly she slammed the door behind her and collapsed in
her plush leather chair.
“Anna?” Sara questioned concerted over her friend’s tears.
“Is it....”
“Don’t worry about it. Just go away!” Anna hollered turning
her back towards the door. This was a private matter no one else needed to
hear.
“Poor girl!” Sara sighed as she walked away. “She’s really
taking it hard.”
“Well, ya gotta remember, that a month ago he was her
world. When your world crumbles and vanishes like Anna’s, the pain doesn’t
leave quickly.” Another of Anna’s close friend whispered.
“I know. But I think something new is bothering her from
today. I just don’t know what it is.” Sara finished, then walked off to finish
her work.
You’re returned
For how long, I’m not sure
Please don’t pity me
I have enough pain to deal with on my own
I’ve moved on
and so have you
Don’t look at me again
It’s over, I’m gone
with no return
“Brian, are you okay?” Nick asked that evening. He had gone
home with him for that night. “What was up with you during the interview?”
“Don’t worry about it, Nick. You don’t know anything about
it and I would like to keep it that way.” Brian commanded, really leaving Nick
with no way to even disagree.
“That’s fine. I’m here though if you even need to talk
about it.”
“I doubt I will. So just don’t even bring it up.”
“Sure thing.” Silence filled the room after Brian’s last
sharp comment. Startling both of them out of their thoughts, the phone rang.
Dully, Brian reached over to pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Brian. It’s Kevin.”
“What’s up?”
“Not too much. Can you do me a favor?”
“Depends.” Brian sneered. He was no in the mood to be nice.
But he knew he had to be.
“Can you run back to the Teenbeat magazine studio and give
them this message.” Kevin continued telling Brian. Brian scribbled words as
fast as he could onto a sheet of note book paper. “You might as well wait until
tomorrow morning. They won’t be open tonight.”
“Okay! Can I go now?” Brian sniped ill at all the things
his cousin was loading down on him.
“What is wrong with you?! Ever since that interview
something has been bugging you.”
“Kevin! Just stay out of it! Why is everyone so worried
about it! Gosh! It I wanted you to know I would tell you. But I don’t want you
to know!”
“That’s fine. I’m gonna go. Don’t forget to take that
message tomorrow.”
Brian didn’t answer, just hung up the phone.
“Well B, I’m going on home for the night. I’ll catch you
later, okay?” Nick sighed as he grabbed his jacket. Brian still didn’t answer.
He was already too lost in thought. Nick shook his head confused. Something was
hidden terribly deep in his heart if he wouldn’t tell.
That night, Brian tossed and turned. Nothing could make him
the least bit tired. He hadn’t had this problem since he had just started out
with the Backstreet Boys. Except there was one problem with it now, there
wasn’t that one person he could call at any hour of the night. The one that
would talk to him no matter how long it took him to fall asleep.
An empty sleepless night
is certainly no fun.
It eats you up from inside
with it’s burning loneliness
Nothing that perfect stays
But it could have
if only you had held on tighter.
“Anna! What are you doing?” Brian yelled from across the
empty school gym.
“Trying to play basketball, well at least...I don’t know!”
Anna replied s the ball she shot didn’t even come close to hitting the goal
rim.
“Hold on! Your form is all wrong.” he hollered walking over
towards Anna. “Here, it’s like this.” Brian helped her hand positioning
situating each finger as he stood close behind her. “Now try, you might
actually hit the back board.” He teased.
“Fuuny.” Anna smirked. Slowly she bent her knees, then
pushed with the frce of her legs and arms. The ball soared through the air,
going into the net with a gorgeous swish. “Wow!” She breathed. Looking behind
her, Brian was starring. He wasn’t breathing, then rapidly blinking his eyes to
make sure it was real. “Oh come off it, Brian! You know I got skills now!”
“Yeah sure! It was pure luck!”
“Thanks for the help.”
“Anytime.” he leaned over, giving her a kiss,
congratulating her.
Suddenly Anna’s office door swung open puling her mind away
from the past.
“Ummm.....”A startled Brian mumbled. He hadn’t known Anna
was the editor. If he had he wouldn’t have done this after the way she had
treated him. “Kevin, asked me to give this to you.”
Anne took the sheet of paper from him. Even seeing his
handwriting brought back memories, he used to write her so many notes.
“Thanks, Brian.” She sighed.
Brian stopped dead in his tracks as he heard his first name
roll off her tongue. She hadn’t said it cold or harsh like the last time she
had said his name. He face was puffy as if she had been crying.
“What are you looking at?” Anna questioned.
Brian cringed as the coldness returned to her voice. “Are
you okay?”
“You know what?! I’m sick of being asked that question.
I’ll be blunt...no, I’m not okay. After losing my faience in a car wreck a
month ago, there is no reason for me to be okay. Then you had to come waltzing
back in my life. Bringing back all the pain and misery from the broken
relationship.” Anna finished as tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” Brian sighed. He had no idea she been through
so much lately. It was unreal.
“If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t have left me
standing in the hallway that day years ago. That was just pure mean! After all
we had done together. Was it 8th-11th?”
“Yeah.”
“You just left me! I never knew what you were going to ask
me.”
Brian could hear the anger and pain in her voice from the
past. “Well...I was going to ask you out. To make out dating official after all
those years.”
“So you just dropped the idea once you got called to be a
Backstreet Boy?”
“No.”
“Then why did you never call, never do anything to get in
touch with me?”
“I did!” Brian defended. “You were never home! I even
stopped by your house one time! Why didn’t you ever call me?”
“I tried to! I asked your mom for the number of where you
were all the time. You were always working. Then you started traveling all the
time. California, Florida, new York and then Europe. What am I supposed to do
then?”
“I don’t know! So it seems like all those years were ruined
because we always called at the wrong time.” Brian sighed running his fingers
through his hair.
“Not only that. It doesn’t help when you say on TV that
your only true love you’ve ever had was Lieghanne. They even asked if had a
high school sweet-heart and you said no! What am I supposed to take from that?
That I wasted that time with you, only for you to forget it?” Anna yelled
standing up behind her desk.
“What can I say besides, I’m sorry?! I screwed up on that!
I don’t blame you for being mad. I would be too.” Brian agreed.
“Please, just leave. I’m tired of dealing with everything,
I have work to do.” Anna cried motioning towards her door.
Brian complied and left. Although he really didn’t want to.
He had found her again and he wasn’t about to let her go.
The past
hurts
If you already hadn’t leaned.
Some wounds never heal
Only grow deeper with time
I haven’t forgotten my love
I never will
Even though you thought I had
You were hidden deep in my heart
with your memory held most dear
I know you don’t know
I didn’t till you just now
But you still own my heart.
The key is in your hands
Please don’t loose it
I’m waiting
Ever so patiently
for you to come and set my love free.
***
