{"id":306,"date":"2013-07-22T13:12:32","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T13:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/?page_id=306"},"modified":"2013-07-22T13:12:32","modified_gmt":"2013-07-22T13:12:32","slug":"chapter-79","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/story\/chapter-79\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 79"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter 79<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not strong.<\/i><\/p>\n

I used to think I was, like I\u2019d convinced myself that the act I had going was true.\u00a0 I think I wrote in an earlier entry about how I always try to talk big, act so tough, when I\u2019m really not.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why I can\u2019t take letting anyone in.\u00a0 I\u2019ve really gotten better since that fateful day in April.\u00a0 I really have.\u00a0 Still, there\u2019s that part of me that just feels the need to protect myself by keeping up that wall.\u00a0 This idea part of me refuses to let go of, that I just can\u2019t let anyone see me break down.\u00a0 Nick\u2019s the only one who has, and that terrifies me, despite the fact that it\u2019s brought us closer.<\/i><\/p>\n

I think I love him, like honest to God love.<\/i><\/p>\n

Too bad he\u2019ll probably never know that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever be able to tell him, because of that damn side of me that has to be strong.\u00a0 I\u2019m no shrink, so I don\u2019t have a clue of why I get like this.\u00a0 It\u2019s chased so many away in my past.<\/i><\/p>\n

If I ever see AJ again, I\u2019ll ask him.\u00a0 He\u2019s seen enough psychologists in his life \u2013 maybe some of it rubbed off.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever be given the chance.\u00a0 Things aren\u2019t good.\u00a0 I\u2019m terrified Kevin\u2019s about to die.\u00a0 He reminds me of Nathan, the oldest of my brothers.\u00a0 Overly responsible, always thinking ahead, always trying to be the dad, always testing me.\u00a0 I can\u2019t handle losing anyone else.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t the death of Kayleigh enough?\u00a0 I can\u2019t handle losing Kevin; I really can\u2019t.\u00a0 I may act like a smartass, but I still love everyone in our little group of ten<\/span> nine.<\/i><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think we\u2019ll make it back to Florida.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019ll survive to see 2013.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019ll be lucky much longer on our food raids.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019ll be able to stay at the golf course much longer; more and more are beginning to sniff us out.<\/i><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair that we\u2019ll probably have to die now, after fighting so hard.\u00a0 To think I argued with Kevin to be able to go on this trip.\u00a0 I could\u2019ve been back at the base, comfortable and far safer.\u00a0 It\u2019s mindboggling.<\/i><\/p>\n

You wanna know what\u2019s even crazier?<\/i><\/p>\n

If I had the chance to redo that moment, knowing what was to come\u2026 I\u2019d still choose to go.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wednesday, October 10, 2012<\/b><\/i>
\nWeek Twenty-Five<\/i><\/p>\n

Riley stood by the window, not too far from where Kevin lay resting on the couch.\u00a0 She\u2019d been up all night, having decided she\u2019d keep the vigil for once.\u00a0 Nick kept insisting she should rest and let him do it.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t seem fair to make him always be the one to protect their small little camp, to watch over Kevin without being able to truly help him.\u00a0 Tonight, she\u2019d finally pushed him to get some real sleep.\u00a0 He looked so haggard and worn now.\u00a0 Bags had built up beneath his normally sparkling, blue eyes.\u00a0 Now they looked dull, like murky swamp water.\u00a0 Everything that had happened had finally begun to bring her cockeyed optimist down.<\/p>\n

Her eyes shifted over to Nick.\u00a0 Where he lay sleeping, there was no smile.\u00a0 It saddened her to see him so down, even in slumber.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t normal, and it wasn\u2019t something she was used to.\u00a0 She wondered then if maybe he was dreaming of Kevin, or Kayleigh, or his family.\u00a0 There was so much to grieve for these days, and from the looks of it, more to come.\u00a0 It frightened her more than she ever wanted to admit.\u00a0 She sat down slowly, with her back resting against the couch.\u00a0 Riley stifled a yawn, staring out into the night.<\/p>\n

We never should\u2019ve left, <\/i>she thought, for what felt like the millionth time.\u00a0 She wondered what everyone was doing right then.\u00a0 She wondered if they assumed the three of them to be dead.\u00a0 Being the pessimist she was, Riley knew she would have, if she\u2019d remained back at the base.\u00a0 She suddenly missed Gretchen right then.\u00a0 She needed a woman to talk to, someone to really just share with and get everything about Nick off her chest.\u00a0 She sighed.\u00a0 At least Gretchen had Brian, who was probably keeping her spirits up.\u00a0 Brian was always good at that.\u00a0 Riley missed Jo, who\u2019d become like a surrogate mother, a figure she hadn\u2019t had since she was a child.\u00a0 Jo would have known what to do.<\/p>\n

If Jo were here, Kevin wouldn\u2019t be dying.<\/p>\n

Tears sprang to her eyes; still, she refused to let them fall.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 If she let herself cave and cry now, she knew she wouldn\u2019t stop.\u00a0 Riley stood, stretching a bit as she did.\u00a0 Shivering, she reached for Nick\u2019s hoodie, which he\u2019d grabbed on a supply run.\u00a0 Putting it on, she took a deep breath, going to grab some water.\u00a0 Since the water was off now, with no people to keep it running, they\u2019d been forced to grab cases of bottled water during one of the runs.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t much left.\u00a0 Riley had been using it mainly to keep Kevin hydrated.\u00a0 Pouring some into a cup, she came back over to Kevin\u2019s side.\u00a0 On the table before him lay a damp rag.\u00a0 Gently, she set the cup down and took the rag, running it across his forehead.\u00a0 It felt so fruitless; nothing seemed to help.<\/p>\n

\u201cKevin\u2026 you need to wake up.\u00a0 Please\u2026\u201d she whispered, despite knowing he wouldn\u2019t hear her.\u00a0 Wherever he was, he seemed beyond hearing her now.<\/p>\n

He shifted in his sleep, if you could call it that, and she gently opened his mouth.\u00a0 Her hands trembled as she set the pills inside, following them with a trickle of water.\u00a0 Kevin had been like this for a full week now, if her count was right.\u00a0 If something didn\u2019t change soon, she feared for the worst.\u00a0 At least the mumbling had stopped.\u00a0 That had unnerved her the most, the rambles caused by his feverous delirium.<\/p>\n

\u201cRye?\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned sharply, startled from her reverie.\u00a0 Nick was sitting up slowly, his golden hair going every which way.\u00a0 If not for the paleness of his face and how drawn his skin was, it would almost be cute.\u00a0 The corners of her lips twitched slightly.\u00a0 \u201cMorning, Sleepy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it morning?\u201d he asked as he stretched out, cracking his back.<\/p>\n

\u201cBarely\u2026 I can see the sun beginning to rise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

Riley shook her head, turning back to Kevin, dabbing at his forehead.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou always say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged, not looking at him.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I say it \u2018cause I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn it, Riley-\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned, her eyes blazing.\u00a0 \u201cWhat, Nick?\u00a0 What?\u00a0 You think I can get any sleep right now?\u00a0 You think I can even try?\u00a0 Kevin\u2019s about ready to kick the ever-fucking-loving bucket, and I\u2019m not going to go sleep and\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Riley stopped, swallowing back the rest of her words.<\/p>\n

A arm came around her shoulder.\u00a0 Two tears fell from her eyes, beyond her control.\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t take this.\u00a0 I, I try to.\u00a0 I try and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t always gotta have control, you know.\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you the one who tried telling Howie that?\u201d\u00a0 She glanced over; Nick was giving her that smile.\u00a0 That smile that never failed to bring out one of her own, despite the situation at hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo go sleep.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re tired, even if you\u2019ll never tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n

She hugged him, feeling safe for only moments within his warm embrace.\u00a0 Riley nodded, giving in.\u00a0 She was<\/i> tired, emotionally, if not physically.\u00a0 Her lips touched his forehead sweetly as she stood, heading over to the makeshift bed on the floor that Nick had just left.\u00a0 Pulling the blanket over her, she smiled to herself as she watched Nick sing quietly to their sick leader.<\/p>\n

His soothing melody lulled her into a much-needed rest.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

A loud crash caused her to stir.\u00a0 A smell immediately slammed her senses, and she rose with alarm.\u00a0 Her hands reached wildly for her shotgun, as she ran forward.\u00a0 Her eyes skipped around the room.\u00a0 The windows had been shattered, and neither Kevin, nor Nick, could be seen.<\/p>\n

\u201cNICK!\u201d she screamed above the moans.\u00a0 Zombies were coming in through the broken windows now, through the doors, through every way they could.\u00a0 They writhed and moaned with no other purpose than to reach her, their newfound prey.\u00a0 Riley fired off a few shots, both of them wild and missing their targets.\u00a0 Plaster fell from the ceiling.\u00a0 She looked around again, her heart beating wildly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNICK!\u201d\u00a0 That was when she spotted it, a swarm of them bent over.<\/p>\n

Bent over in the feeding position.<\/p>\n

She fired off the gun again and again.\u00a0 There was no thought to it.\u00a0 There was no method.\u00a0 She continued shooting, reloading automatically.\u00a0 All she cared about then was getting through.\u00a0 Finally, one zombie fell to break the circle.\u00a0 There, lying still with his eyes half open, was Kevin.\u00a0 Blood ran everywhere, coating the couch as if it were simply spilled paint.\u00a0 Parts of his leg were missing, the flesh raw and gleaming in the breaking daylight.\u00a0 The leg ended halfway down, splintered bone peeking through the broken end.\u00a0 She screamed in fright, before turning and puking everything that remained in her stomach.\u00a0 Bits of regurgitated SpaghettiOs littered the floor now.<\/p>\n

The zombies turned on her, just as she began to catch her breath once more.\u00a0 A fresh catch, she knew she was now that much more appealing to them.\u00a0 She ran outside, towards the pond out on the green of the course.\u00a0 Riley had no idea where Nick was, but he wasn\u2019t inside.\u00a0 That much she knew.\u00a0 He\u2019d have heard her screams if he was, or she\u2019d have spotted him if he was already dead.<\/p>\n

She ran, paying no attention to where she was going.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t glance back once to see how far she\u2019d gotten ahead.\u00a0 Riley ran blindly into the gradually fading night, the sun only beginning to break through.\u00a0 Her surroundings seemed to be still within a veil of darkness.\u00a0 Tears ran down her face freely now, for Kevin, who hadn\u2019t even had a chance to fight back.\u00a0 It had been like Nick said, a free for all buffet.\u00a0 Riley forced back the bile the thought caused and ignored the burning in her lungs as she kept up her pace.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, her foot struck against something.\u00a0 She lost her balance and tumbled down onto the dewy grass.\u00a0 For a moment, she lay there, the breath knocked out of her.\u00a0 As she pulled herself up, she looked over to see what had tripped her.\u00a0 It had to have been big, to have gotten her to fall so hard.<\/p>\n

She screamed yet again, a mix of terror and anguish.\u00a0 The sight she saw was one she\u2019d never forget for the rest of her days.\u00a0 There lay Nick.\u00a0 Her<\/i> Nick.\u00a0 His blue eyes that she so loved were no longer full of life; they stayed open, glassy and unseeing, to the sky above.\u00a0 His throat had been mercilessly ripped out, teeth marks remaining on his neck. \u00a0His body was mangled, what was left of it.\u00a0 His arms had been devoured, the bones of which only had bits of tattered flesh sticking to them.\u00a0 His torso, which had become toned since the Day of Unholy Resurrection, was nothing but a bloody mess of ribs.<\/p>\n

\u201cNick\u2026 Nick\u2026\u201d she sobbed as she hugged his destroyed body.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t be dead\u2026 you can\u2019t be\u2026 Nick\u2026 you\u2026 no\u2026 no\u2026 no\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t think.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t breathe.\u00a0 All she knew was the overwhelming pain that consumed her then, far more than the ghouls had consumed him.\u00a0 Riley buried her face into what remained of his shoulder.\u00a0 She knew the rest of the horde would sniff her out soon, but found she no longer cared.<\/p>\n

A gargled moan came from beside her ear.\u00a0 Riley\u2019s head raised only to see Nick\u2019s had as well.<\/p>\n

A bony hand grabbed her hair as she screamed.<\/p>\n

\u201cRiley?\u00a0 Riley?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO!\u00a0 Nick\u2026 no\u2026 God\u2026 no\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She thrashed away, feeling the grip of her undead lover.\u00a0 Despite no longer having the will, she still fought for her meager life.\u00a0 Still, she couldn\u2019t get away from his grip.<\/p>\n

\u201cRiley!\u201d\u00a0 Hands shook her now, no longer grabbing.\u00a0 \u201cRye!\u201d<\/p>\n

Her eyes shot open.\u00a0 Nick was staring at her, looking worried.\u00a0 She buried her head in his chest, crying yet again.\u00a0 Riley hadn\u2019t cried this much since she was a kid.\u00a0 It felt so foreign.\u00a0 In the end, she couldn\u2019t help herself.\u00a0 His hand rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dreamed\u2026 Kevin\u2026 dead\u2026 and then, I found you\u2026 and\u2026 and\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t even utter the words.\u00a0 It felt like saying them would make them real.<\/p>\n

\u201cShhh\u2026 it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 It was just a dream.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been asleep for almost twelve hours\u2026 I told you you were tired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 I know\u2026 but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

They remained like that for a short while, Nick patiently soothing her as she slowly calmed down.\u00a0 The nightmare had shaken her to the core.\u00a0 She nodded, pulling away and wiping her eyes discreetly.\u00a0 \u201cI feel stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t. We all have nightmares, Rye.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d\u00a0 She still felt childish, but said nothing more about it.\u00a0 Instead, she straightened up.\u00a0 \u201cI should check on Kevin\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay; it can wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything okay over there?\u201d a raspy voice called, almost inaudible.<\/p>\n

The two blondes looked over, both wearing identical expressions of shock.\u00a0 There, weakly attempting to sit up, was Kevin.\u00a0 He looked worn down, still sick, and unable to fight off even an undead toddler.\u00a0 But he was awake, and he was still alive.<\/p>\n

Despite all the evidence that said otherwise, suddenly, Riley felt like everything was going to be alright.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Chapter 79 I\u2019m not strong. I used to think I was, like I\u2019d convinced myself that the act I had going was true.\u00a0 I think I wrote in an earlier entry about how I always try to talk big, act … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":8,"menu_order":79,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"onecolumn-page.php","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/306"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":307,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/306\/revisions\/307"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}