{"id":308,"date":"2013-07-22T13:13:49","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T13:13:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/?page_id=308"},"modified":"2025-02-06T02:27:31","modified_gmt":"2025-02-06T02:27:31","slug":"chapter-80","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/story\/chapter-80\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 80"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter 80<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Was the trip back to Atlanta worth it?\u00a0 For me, it was.\u00a0 It was worth it to see the house one last time, even though it was ruined.\u00a0 It was worth it to recover some of the things I\u2019d left behind.\u00a0 It was worth it to feel some sense of closure, even if I\u2019ll never know for sure what happened to Shawn.\u00a0 It hurts not to know, but it would have killed me not to look.\u00a0 At least now I know I\u2019ve done all that I can to find him.<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve accepted that it\u2019s unlikely I\u2019ll ever see him again in this lifetime, but it\u2019s a comfort to have our pictures with me, to be able to see his face the way I remember it whenever I want.\u00a0 One of my favorites is from our engagement photos.\u00a0 It rained the day we had scheduled our session, but we went ahead with it, hoping it would clear so we could do some of the shots outdoors, like we\u2019d planned.\u00a0 It never did, but we went outside anyway and took pictures.\u00a0 I thought it would be sort of romantic, like the kiss in the rain from The Notebook<\/span>.\u00a0 Instead, it was just cold and wet and uncomfortable.\u00a0 My hair got drenched and frizzed right out, and his glasses fogged up so bad he could barely see.\u00a0 We both got soaked to the bone and came out looking like two drowned rats in the photos.\u00a0 Two drowned rats in love, though.\u00a0 We laughed so hard that day, joking about how he could have used a tiny pair of windshield wipers for his glasses, and how I was going to be nipping out in our engagement announcement in the newspaper.\u00a0 Obviously, we chose a different photo \u2013 one of the dry shots \u2013 but my favorite will always be the one of us laughing in the rain.\u00a0 And when things get bad, I\u2019ll always be able to look at it and smile through my tears.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s a good thing, because there sure have been a lot of tears around here lately.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thursday, October 11, 2012<\/b><\/i>
\nWeek Twenty-Five<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cThis truck could use some new wipers,\u201d Gretchen commented, struggling to see out the windshield as she drove through the rain.\u00a0 The skies had been clear for most of her journey with Brian back to Tampa Bay, but that morning had dawned overcast and rainy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll put some on when we get back to the base,\u201d Brian replied.\u00a0 \u201cUnless you think we need to stop and find some now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 it\u2019s fine.\u00a0 We can make it,\u201d said Gretchen.\u00a0 Now that they were on the road again, she was eager to keep going.<\/p>\n

It would have been the perfect day to stay in bed, if that bed had been the one she shared with Shawn at their house in Atlanta.\u00a0 But her house and her bed were far behind them now, and deep down, she knew she would never see them \u2013 or Shawn \u2013 again.\u00a0 Instead, she and Brian had slept in a stranger\u2019s home, somewhere outside Gainesville, Florida.<\/p>\n

Only a hundred more miles to Tampa, according to a green road sign she could just make out through the rain-soaked window.\u00a0 Even though it had been tempting to curl up under the covers and sleep until eternity, Gretchen found that she was glad.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t wait to get back to Tampa.\u00a0 There was nothing for her in Atlanta anymore, nothing but memories.\u00a0 At MacDill, there was hope.\u00a0 There were people.\u00a0 She had friends, a family, however unconventional.\u00a0 She found that she had missed them while she and Brian were away.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think Riley, Nick, and Kevin will be back?\u201d she asked Brian.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope so.\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t elaborate, though she could infer what he was thinking.\u00a0 It had been almost three weeks since the other group had boarded a plane and flown west in search of survivors.\u00a0 If they weren\u2019t back yet, it could only mean they had run into trouble \u2013 with the plane, with the undead, or any number of other possibilities.<\/p>\n

\u201cKevin\u2019s gonna be pissed at us for leaving,\u201d she added, but that didn\u2019t bother her.\u00a0 Once they were all back together in one piece, the relief would be so great that no hard feelings could last long.<\/p>\n

Brian chuckled.\u00a0 \u201cIf he\u2019s back at the base, I bet he\u2019s a basket case right now, worryin\u2019 about us.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cJo\u2019s probably right there with him.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She knew Jo, the mother of the group, hadn\u2019t wanted them to go, either.\u00a0 But as a widow who had lost her own husband, she had also understood Gretchen\u2019s need to search for hers.\u00a0 And when they got back, she would surely have some words of comfort to offer her.<\/p>\n

Gretchen thought she was coping fairly well, as well as could be expected.\u00a0 She was still grieving, of course, but in the days since they\u2019d left Atlanta, she had also gained a sense of peace.\u00a0 While it was true that she might never know what exactly had happened to Shawn, she was reasonably sure that his soul, at least, had gone on to a far better place than this one, and she took comfort in that belief.<\/p>\n

It helped that Brian was on her side now, a fellow believer once more.\u00a0 He\u2019d held a little memorial service for Shawn during one of their overnight stops.\u00a0 He had read some passages from the Bible, she had shared stories and favorite memories of Shawn, and together, they\u2019d looked at pictures from the photo albums she\u2019d recovered from the house.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the send-off Shawn deserved, but it did bring Gretchen some closure.<\/p>\n

Her mood lifted as the rain stopped, and the sun peeked out from behind the storm clouds.\u00a0 She could see its golden rays filtering through the misty gray atmosphere, and she smiled.\u00a0 \u201cWhen I was a little girl,\u201d she spoke aloud, pointing out the window at the visible sunbeams, \u201cI used to think those beams of light were the souls of people who had just died, being taken up to Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

Brian smiled, too.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful thought.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to think it\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n

She liked to think so, too, but who on Earth was left with a soul to take?\u00a0 As far as she knew, it was just the nine of them, for the undead certainly had no souls left in them.\u00a0 The realization left her feeling troubled again.<\/p>\n

Then Brian said, \u201cHey, look\u2026 over there.\u201d\u00a0 He pointed in the other direction, and she slowed down, craning her neck to look over her shoulder.\u00a0 She saw it then, a faint glimmer of color against the dark gray clouds:\u00a0 a rainbow.<\/p>\n

Letting the truck coast to a stop in the middle of the highway, Gretchen shifted it into park, looked around carefully to make sure there were no zombies in sight, then climbed out.\u00a0 Brian followed her.\u00a0 They stood in the road, flanked by abandoned vehicles, and stared up at the sky.\u00a0 Out in the sunlight, the rainbow appeared even brighter and more vivid, stretching across the backdrop of gray sky from one side of the horizon to the other.\u00a0 \u201cWhoa\u2026 that\u2019s a full rainbow,\u201d Gretchen murmured.<\/p>\n

Above it, they could just make out a second rainbow, much fainter, like an echo of the first.\u00a0 Brian was the one to point it out.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a double<\/i> rainbow\u2026 all the way across the sky,\u201d he observed, tracing the arc of it with his finger.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Gretchen shook her head, in awe of this rare miracle of nature.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s so beautiful.\u00a0 What does it mean?\u201d\u00a0 Looking up at the double rainbow, she had a strange, fluttery feeling deep inside her, like it was a sign.\u00a0 She smiled up at the soft spectrum of colors and thought, This is Shawn telling me that he\u2019s all right\u2026 that I can go on, and everything will be all right.<\/i><\/p>\n

When she told Brian this, he smiled back and squeezed her hand.\u00a0 \u201cGod\u2019s miracles are all around us,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cSometimes we just have to look for them more closely.\u00a0 This is a nice reminder that there\u2019s still beauty in this world.\u201d<\/p>\n

But not long after he\u2019d said it, the slouching silhouettes of zombies also appeared on the horizon, shuffling toward them under the double rainbow, and they were forced to get back in the truck and keep driving.<\/p>\n

The pair of rainbows soon faded, but Gretchen was not too disappointed.\u00a0 The full-on double rainbow had left her feeling fulfilled.\u00a0 She floored the pedal and watched the needle on the speedometer steadily creep higher.\u00a0 With a hundred more miles of rain-soaked highway stretching out in front of her, she just wanted to get home.\u00a0 That was how she would think of the former Air Force base from then on \u2013 as home.<\/p>\n

And indeed, when she finally found herself driving down Bayshore Boulevard, guiding the truck through MacDill\u2019s front gates, Gretchen felt an overwhelming sense of relief and satisfaction.\u00a0 Home, at last.\u00a0 She navigated the winding streets and brought the truck to a stop in the driveway of the little house she and Brian shared with Nick and Riley.\u00a0 After parking, she jumped out and ran into the house, eager to see if their two roommates were home yet.\u00a0 Brian followed, calling, \u201cNick?\u00a0 Rye?\u201d<\/p>\n

But there was no one home.\u00a0 The house was dark and silent, the air stagnant.\u00a0 Gretchen fought off her feeling of disappointment, saying, \u201cI bet the others are down at the beach, still working on the wall.\u201d<\/p>\n

They went back outside and walked around the house, heading for the bay.\u00a0 Their pace quickened, the closer they got to the water.\u00a0 Up ahead, Gretchen could see the wall, but no sign of anyone, living or undead.\u00a0 She kept her ears perked for voices or the sound of hammering as they followed the wall along the waterline to its end, but still, there was no one.\u00a0 Yet their tools were still there – a hammer, nails, rope, and a saw lay among the chopped logs that had not yet been assembled to continue the wall.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe they\u2019re taking a break,\u201d Brian said, looking around.<\/p>\n

Gretchen nodded, refusing to admit anything could be wrong, though she was starting to get that sense.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t put her finger on what it was, but there was an eerie feeling in the air.\u00a0 The base seemed too quiet, even quieter than usual.\u00a0 The absence of moaning was a relief, but the lack of human noise bothered her.\u00a0 \u201cWhere do you think they went?\u201d she asked, but Brian just shrugged.\u00a0 They both knew there were too many places to check on the large base.<\/p>\n

They trudged off in the direction they had come, heading back to the housing area.\u00a0 The walk seemed to take a lot longer than it had before.\u00a0 But when they finally reached the house, someone was waiting for them by the truck.<\/p>\n

\u201cHowie!\u201d\u00a0 Gretchen broke into a jog, arms outstretched for a hug. \u00a0It had taken her some time to warm up to Howie, but she was so glad to see him, so glad to see someone alive on the empty base.\u00a0 When she got close, though, she lowered her arms and slowed to a walk, frowning as she studied his face.<\/p>\n

Howie looked all right, physically, but he appeared to have aged several years in the sixteen days they\u2019d been gone.\u00a0 Or had he always had those lines around his eyes?\u00a0 That touch of gray in his stubble?\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t shaved in several days, which was unlike him.\u00a0 He also hadn\u2019t showered, which was very<\/i> unlike him.\u00a0 His black hair was greasy and disheveled.\u00a0 Underneath his tan, his face seemed pale, almost ashen.\u00a0 Was he sick?\u00a0 Or had something horrible happened?<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d she asked, afraid to hear his answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re back,\u201d he said, but he didn\u2019t smile.\u00a0 His voice was low and grim.\u00a0 \u201cAJ\u2019s been hurt, badly.\u00a0 And Jo\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gretchen gasped out loud, swaying with the shock of his last words.\u00a0 \u201cNo\u2026\u201d she whimpered, her eyes already filling with tears.<\/p>\n

Brian had reached them just in time to hear Howie\u2019s grim news.\u00a0 He put his arm around Gretchen and hugged her close to his side.\u00a0 \u201cHow did it happen?\u201d he asked Howie.<\/p>\n

There must have been a horrible attack,<\/i> Gretchen thought, and she immediately felt guilty, guilty because she and Brian hadn\u2019t been there to help.\u00a0 With so few of them left to fight and defend the base, they\u2019d suffered heavy losses.\u00a0 This was the conclusion her mind immediately jumped to, so she was unprepared for Howie\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was attacked by one of them while we were working on the wall, two days ago.\u00a0 Gabby shot the zombie to save her, but her bullet went right through it and hit Jo in the chest.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gretchen gasped again.\u00a0 \u201cOh no\u2026 oh God\u2026 Gabby\u2026\u00a0 Poor Gabby!\u00a0 H-how\u2019s she doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a stupid question.\u00a0 Howie just shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cYou can imagine.\u00a0 She\u2019s inside with AJ.\u201d\u00a0 He gestured to the house next door, the one he shared with AJ.\u00a0 \u201cI should get back\u2026 I don\u2019t like leaving either one of them alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll come with you,\u201d Brian said.<\/p>\n

As they followed him next door, Howie filled them in on what had happened with AJ \u2013 the fall from the tree, the fall off the wagon.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll have to watch his leg carefully for signs of infection,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cJo said if it gets into his broken bone, it could kill him.\u00a0 She said we\u2019d have to amputate his leg.\u00a0 Of course, AJ was having none of that.\u00a0 With Jo gone, though, I don\u2019t know what we\u2019d do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust pray it doesn\u2019t happen,\u201d Brian murmured.\u00a0 Gretchen could be sure that he would, but she wasn\u2019t so sure it would do any good.\u00a0 Prayers hadn\u2019t seemed to help them much yet.\u00a0 She had been so relieved to make it back to the base safely, but her faith had been shaken again by the tragedy that awaited them there.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny news on the other group?\u201d she asked pointlessly, already knowing there had been none.<\/p>\n

Howie shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cHow about on your end?\u00a0 Any sign of Shawn?\u201d<\/p>\n

She, too, shook her head sadly.\u00a0 \u201cOur house was half-destroyed.\u00a0 Some kind of explosion.\u00a0 We left a message for him, in case he ever does make it back to check, but\u2026 but I don\u2019t think that will happen.\u00a0 I think that he\u2019s\u2026 that\u2019s he gone,\u201d she admitted with difficulty, her voice trembling on the last words.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Howie offered, holding out his arm.\u00a0 She let him put it around her, so that she was sandwiched between the two of them, hugged on both sides.\u00a0 They walked like that, three across, all the way to the front door.\u00a0 Howie held it open for Brian and Gretchen, ushering them inside.<\/p>\n

His house was just as dark and silent as theirs had been.\u00a0 Gretchen felt like she should tiptoe as he led them back to the three, small bedrooms.\u00a0 One of the doors was closed \u2013 Gabby,<\/i> Howie mouthed, pointing \u2013 but the other two were open.\u00a0 He brought them into one of the rooms, where AJ was laid up in bed, his broken leg heavily bandaged and splinted, elevated by a couple of pillows.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey.\u00a0 You\u2019re back,\u201d he greeted them matter-of-factly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in the faintest flicker of a smile.\u00a0 \u201cYou missed all the excitement,\u201d he added, gesturing at his leg.<\/p>\n

Gretchen shook her head, her eyes filling with a fresh batch of tears.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, AJ,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry all this happened.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry we weren\u2019t here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, don\u2019t apologize.\u201d\u00a0 He shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cAccidents happen.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing you could\u2019ve done.\u201d\u00a0 But he said this all very flatly, and Gretchen knew it wasn\u2019t true.\u00a0 Maybe they wouldn\u2019t have been able to prevent his fall, but they could have saved Jo.\u00a0 A tear slipped down her cheek, dripping onto the foot of his bed.\u00a0 \u201cAny luck with the hubby?\u201d he asked, and she shook her head, more tears falling.\u00a0 \u201cThat sucks\u2026 sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sniffed and nodded, not knowing what else to say.\u00a0 The three of them just stood there around AJ\u2019s bed for a few, awkward minutes, barely speaking.\u00a0 Then Gretchen asked, \u201cCan we see Gabby?\u201d\u00a0 She looked at Brian, and he nodded.\u00a0 Between the two of them, maybe they\u2019d be able to offer the girl some comfort.<\/p>\n

Howie took them across the hall and rapped his knuckles lightly against the closed door.\u00a0 \u201cGabby?\u201d he called.\u00a0 \u201cBrian and Gretchen are back.\u00a0 Can they come in?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no answer.<\/p>\n

Howie shrugged at Gretchen and Brian, looking helpless.\u00a0 \u201cShe hasn\u2019t spoken since Tuesday,\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cShe barely comes out of this room.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gretchen could tell he didn\u2019t have a clue what to do about Gabby.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll see what I can do,\u201d she offered, reaching for the doorknob.\u00a0 \u201cGabby?\u201d\u00a0 She tried the knob and was surprised when it turned easily in her hand.\u00a0 Having once been a teenage girl herself, she had expected it to be locked.\u00a0 She opened the door slowly and peeked in.<\/p>\n

Gabby was curled up in a little ball on the bed, facing the wall.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t react when Gretchen walked in.<\/p>\n

\u201cSweetheart\u2026\u201d Gretchen started softly, in the voice she\u2019d used to console crying third-graders in her class at school.\u00a0 Gabby may have been older, but she was still a child, an orphan now, in need of some tender loving care.\u00a0 Though Gretchen knew she could never take the place of her mother, she could provide that much.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m so sorry\u2026\u201d she said, sinking down onto the edge of the bed and reaching out to stroke Gabby\u2019s back.\u00a0 The teenager stiffened at her touch, but didn\u2019t twist away.\u00a0 Neither did she roll over to face Gretchen.\u00a0 She stayed rigid, hugging her knobby knees to her chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t imagine how much you\u2019re hurting right now,\u201d Gretchen offered, to fill the silence.\u00a0 \u201cI know it\u2019s not the same, but I\u2019m sad, too.\u00a0 Your mom was an incredible woman.\u00a0 She did so much for us here.\u00a0 We all miss her already.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby still didn\u2019t respond, so she stopped talking, figuring Howie would have tried this already.\u00a0 What else was there to say?\u00a0 There were no words that could ease the pain of such an unspeakable tragedy.\u00a0 She continued to rub Gabby\u2019s back in slow, soft circles, until she heard the girl sniff.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d she murmured, feeling the tension and tightness in the teenager\u2019s muscles, the effort of holding it all in.\u00a0 \u201cLet it out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A sob escaped Gabby\u2019s throat, and finally, she let her guard down, rolling over to face Gretchen.\u00a0 Her eyes were swollen from crying, her cheeks blotchy and tearstained.\u00a0 Even so, fresh tears clung to her lashes and dripped from her nose and chin.\u00a0 Her lips quivered, though she said nothing.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t need to, and neither did Gretchen.\u00a0 Wordlessly, the older woman opened her arms and let the girl crawl into them.\u00a0 She wrapped Gabby up in a warm hug and held her, feeling the grief rack through the teenager\u2019s small body as she shook and sobbed against Gretchen\u2019s shoulder.<\/p>\n

She could sense Brian\u2019s presence in the doorway, and after a minute, she glanced back and saw him there, watching.\u00a0 He offered her a sympathetic smile and a nod of approval, then turned and walked away, leaving her to comfort Gabby, as he had comforted her.<\/p>\n

Grief\u2026 it had descended on the base once again like a storm cloud.\u00a0 In the days to come, tears would fall like rain, and anger would rage like thunder.\u00a0 They would ride it out together, waiting and praying for Kevin, Nick, and Riley\u2019s return, wondering if the storm would end in a rainbow or a flood.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Chapter 80 Was the trip back to Atlanta worth it?\u00a0 For me, it was.\u00a0 It was worth it to see the house one last time, even though it was ruined.\u00a0 It was worth it to recover some of the things … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":8,"menu_order":80,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"onecolumn-page.php","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/308"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/308\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":587,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/308\/revisions\/587"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}