{"id":329,"date":"2013-07-22T14:29:48","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T14:29:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/?page_id=329"},"modified":"2025-02-05T01:11:08","modified_gmt":"2025-02-05T01:11:08","slug":"chapter-88","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/story\/chapter-88\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 88"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter 88<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cLife goes on\u2026 if you can call this living.\u00a0 I guess we\u2019ve got to, too.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Brian\u2019s the one who told me that, on one of those first days after the dead rose, when we were stuck in that gas station.\u00a0 We had a lot of time to talk, and that\u2019s how we really got to know each other.\u00a0 He opened up to me about his family.\u00a0 I told him about my miscarriage.\u00a0 We shared in our grief, and I think that\u2019s why we got so close, so quickly.\u00a0 I like everyone on the base, but I\u2019m still closest to Brian, especially now.\u00a0 He understands what I\u2019m feeling better than anyone.<\/i><\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard being here, knowing that the people I love are never coming home.\u00a0 I try to go on with my life, but it doesn\u2019t even seem like \u201cmy life\u201d anymore.\u00a0 Everything has changed.\u00a0 I never thought I\u2019d say this, but I wish I had AJ\u2019s outlook on life.\u00a0 He looks at this as a sort of rebirth, an opportunity to rebuild a better world, a world with a place for him in it.\u00a0 I still look at it as an apocalypse, the end of the world, but I guess even that word has more than one meaning.\u00a0 Some people just think of an apocalypse as a revelation.\u00a0 It\u2019s fitting, in a way.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a revelation of my own recently.\u00a0 Brian\u2019s right:\u00a0 life goes on, and we\u2019ve got to, too.<\/i><\/p>\n

At least now I have another reason to live.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thursday, November 15, 2012<\/b><\/i>
\nWeek Thirty<\/i><\/p>\n

As soon as she woke up that mid-November morning, Gretchen could tell it was going to be a good day.\u00a0 The weather outside her window was beautiful.\u00a0 The temperature was mild, hovering somewhere around seventy.\u00a0 The sun was shining; a warm breeze was blowing.\u00a0 The sky was blue, and the clouds were white.\u00a0 And after months of silence, the birds were finally singing again.<\/p>\n

At first, she thought nothing of hearing birds twittering outside her window, but then, suddenly, she was struck by the strangeness of it.\u00a0 Ever since the dead had risen, the animals had been mysteriously absent.\u00a0 It was as if the unnaturalness of the walking dead had thrown the animal kingdom into an upheaval, upsetting the delicate balance of nature and forcing the animals to flee.\u00a0 Just as Spunky had, they must have sensed danger in the air and known, instinctively, to stay away.<\/p>\n

Gretchen couldn\u2019t remember the last time she\u2019d seen a bird or a rabbit or squirrel or one of those little green lizards Florida used to be famous for.\u00a0 There were hardly even any insects around, though that hadn\u2019t stopped the mosquitoes from buzzing around the swampy parts of the peninsula.\u00a0 Otherwise, the sounds of nature had been silenced.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t used to hearing birds chirping, frogs croaking, or locusts humming during the day anymore, and at night, there were no crickets to sing her to sleep.\u00a0 Instead, the dissonant moans of distant zombies kept her awake.<\/p>\n

But on that morning, she woke and heard birds, right outside her window, and she knew that hope was still alive.\u00a0 It filled her up, warming her from the inside, radiating out of her like the rays of the sun.\u00a0 She dressed quickly and rushed downstairs, heading straight outside.\u00a0 Brian was already up, sitting on the back porch, rocking slowly on the porch swing with his usual cup of coffee in hand.\u00a0 \u201cMornin\u2019,\u201d he said in his soft, Southern drawl, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled up at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning,\u201d she echoed, beaming back.\u00a0 She felt breathless, almost giddy with delight.\u00a0 \u201cDo you hear the birds?\u201d<\/p>\n

He pointed, up into a nearby tree, where she saw a pair of robins perched on a high branch.\u00a0 \u201cWhere do you reckon they came from?\u201d<\/p>\n

She stared up at them in wonder.\u00a0 In the Midwest, where she\u2019d grown up, a robin sighting was one of the first signs of spring.\u00a0 It was strange to think it was almost winter, but it made sense.\u00a0 \u201cNorth,\u201d she replied.\u00a0 \u201cThey flew south for the winter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd they stopped here.\u201d\u00a0 Brian nodded.\u00a0 \u201cGuess they realized it was a safe place.\u201d<\/p>\n

Safe…<\/i>\u00a0 Gretchen hadn\u2019t felt truly safe since spring, but she supposed he was right.\u00a0 The base was safer than anywhere else around.\u00a0 Maybe the birds had been able to sense that, too.\u00a0 They\u2019d landed here, where the scent of the undead wasn\u2019t as strong.\u00a0 She hoped they would stay.\u00a0 They made her feel like maybe, seven months after turning upside down, the world was going to right itself again.<\/p>\n

For the first time in a long time, she felt energetic and inspired.\u00a0 It was the perfect day to start a new outdoor project, so while Howie and Gabby took AJ down to work on the wall, Gretchen and Brian decided to get a move on the memorial garden they intended to plant around the wooden crosses they\u2019d put up.<\/p>\n

They had already begun working on a vegetable garden, which had proven tougher than Gretchen had anticipated.\u00a0 Though the weather was perfect for growing, the soil was sandy and poor, and they\u2019d started a compost pile from which to fertilize it.\u00a0 Brian had suggested starting with short season winter crops, like radishes, onions, spinach, lettuce, and broccoli.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll be able to make good salads, at least,\u201d Gretchen had laughed, as they looked for seeds in the base\u2019s supply stores and maintenance sheds.<\/p>\n

That day, they returned in search of flower bulbs to plant for the following spring.\u00a0 They came back with lilies, dahlias, and amaryllis, which they hoped would bring life and beauty back to the base, blooming around the memorials for those they\u2019d lost to the undead.\u00a0 But the garden plot was in no shape to be planted yet, so they spent the rest of the afternoon digging, weeding, and tilling the soil.<\/p>\n

It was hard work, and before long, Gretchen\u2019s back and arms were aching from bending, pulling, and shoveling.\u00a0 Sweat poured down her dirt-streaked face, and her clothes stuck to her skin.\u00a0 Even her hair felt grimy and hot.\u00a0 She longed for a shower, followed by an afternoon nap, and was grateful when Brian finally said, \u201cLet\u2019s take a break.\u201d<\/p>\n

Relieved, she followed him to the pick-up truck, and they drove back to the house.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m gonna hop in the shower,\u201d Gretchen said, as they went inside.\u00a0 \u201cI feel gross.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked her over, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.\u00a0 \u201cAww, at least it\u2019s just dirt \u2013 \u2018stead of zombie guts.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed, but later, in the shower, she marveled over the fact that she could laugh at such a thing now.\u00a0 It certainly hadn\u2019t been funny at the time, their first narrow escape from a horde of the undead, during which she had been splattered with blood and intestinal bits from the zombie Brian had impaled with a road sign.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t forget the horror of having to sit covered in it in the car while they drove around, looking for a safe place to get cleaned up and rest.\u00a0 A shower had never felt so good.<\/p>\n

Watching little trails of dirt circle down the drain, she shuddered, remembering the rusty red tinge of the water in that shower.\u00a0 That had been the very day she\u2019d met Brian, she realized, the day of the unholy resurrection of the dead.\u00a0 Sometimes, it seemed like only yesterday, yet it felt like a lifetime ago.\u00a0 In a way, it had been.\u00a0 Gretchen\u2019s life had changed so much in seven months that her old life felt remote, like some distant part of the past.\u00a0 It was as if she were a reincarnation of her old self, rather than the same Gretchen who had once taught school and dreamed of starting a family.\u00a0 She imagined Brian felt the same way.<\/p>\n

She stood under the shower, just thinking, far longer than she had intended, then came to her senses and shut the faucet off quickly, feeling wasteful.\u00a0 They were lucky to still have running water and electricity on the base, when nowhere else did, and she knew better than to take these luxuries for granted.\u00a0 If the systems went down before Kevin\u2019s group came back \u2013 or if Kevin and the others never did come back, a possibility that was becoming more and more probable each day \u2013 she wouldn\u2019t have a clue how to get them working again.\u00a0 She doubted Brian, Howie, or AJ would, either.\u00a0 They had adapted as best they could, but none of them had any real survival skills.\u00a0 That was Kevin\u2019s forte.<\/p>\n

Suddenly depressed by the thought of losing their leader, Gretchen trudged out of the bathroom and looked around the master bedroom she shared with Riley.\u00a0 The day they had moved into this house, they had agreed to split the largest room.\u00a0 They\u2019d swapped the queen-size bed for the two twin beds in Brian\u2019s smaller room, giving everyone more space.\u00a0 But Riley\u2019s neatly-made bed had been empty for many weeks.\u00a0 She missed her roommate, the closest friend she\u2019d made on the base, after Brian.\u00a0 Was there any chance she could still be alive?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just like with Shawn,<\/i> she thought sadly.\u00a0 We\u2019ll go on hoping they\u2019re still alive and on their way home for a few more weeks, maybe even months, until eventually we just give up and accept that they\u2019re never coming back.<\/i>\u00a0 She knew in her head that this was the path their grief would take, from denial to acceptance, but in her heart, she wasn\u2019t ready to give up hope yet.\u00a0 Not with the robins still singing outside her windows.<\/p>\n

But it wasn\u2019t just the robins who were singing.\u00a0 Suddenly, she realized she could hear a human voice singing, too.\u00a0 She paused to listen to the muffled sounds drifting up through the floor vent \u2013 running water and, rising over the roar of the shower, Brian\u2019s soulful tenor.\u00a0 Smiling, she wrapped a filmy robe around herself and crept out of the bedroom and down the stairs, amused and eager to listen.\u00a0 Though Brian had a great voice, she hadn\u2019t realized he was a shower singer \u2013 but apparently, the robins had inspired him.\u00a0 Standing outside the bathroom door, she giggled silently into her hand when she heard him singing, \u201cHe rocks in the tree top all day long, hoppin\u2019 and a-boppin\u2019 and a-singin\u2019 his song\u2026 All the little birds on Jaybird Street love to hear the robin go tweet, tweet, tweet\u2026 Rockin\u2019 robin \u2013 tweet, tweet, tweet!\u00a0 Rockin\u2019 robin \u2013 tweet, tweedle-lee-dee!\u00a0 Go rockin\u2019 robin, \u2018cause we\u2019re really gonna rock tonight\u2026\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

The shower shut off abruptly, which caught Gretchen off-guard.\u00a0 She backed away from the door and scrambled up the stairs, not wanting to be seen eavesdropping, especially in her skimpy robe.\u00a0 But on the top step, her big toe caught, her ankle rolled, and she tripped and fell forward, landing with a large thud on the stairs.\u00a0 It was enough to bring Brian running out of the bathroom, before she could even pick herself up.\u00a0 She had just barely managed to readjust her robe when he appeared at the foot of the stairs, wearing nothing but a towel and a look of concern.\u00a0 \u201cYou okay?\u201d he called up to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she replied quickly, feeling her face heat up.\u00a0 She mustered as much dignity as she could and tried to stand up, but her ankle throbbed.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d she amended, grimacing.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot you, too,\u201d he joked as he climbed the stairs, securing his towel with one hand.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve already got one gimp around here.\u00a0 What\u2019d you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTripped.\u00a0 Turned my ankle.\u201d\u00a0 She stretched it out in front of her and inspected it from different angles.\u00a0 It looked okay.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t swelling or turning colors.\u00a0 It would probably be fine in a few minutes.\u00a0 She hoped so, anyway.\u00a0 He was right; they couldn\u2019t afford another injury around the base.<\/p>\n

Brian knelt two steps down.\u00a0 \u201cMay I?\u201d he asked, and when she nodded, he gently took her foot in his hands.\u00a0 His touch was light as he felt her ankle, but when he moved his thumbs under her arch to support her foot, she squirmed away.\u00a0 \u201cSorry,\u201d he apologized quickly, \u201cDid I hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 just ticklish.\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned.\u00a0 \u201cMy girls were the same way.\u00a0 Whenever they got a boo-boo, I had to kiss it and make it better.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled back, her heart melting \u2013 and breaking \u2013 as she imagined the kind of daddy he must have been to his twin daughters.\u00a0 \u201cI bet you were good at that,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou better believe it,\u201d he shot back.\u00a0 His grin was as cheesy as ever, but there was a certain sadness behind it.\u00a0 He tried to hide it by lowering his face to her foot, planting the softest of kisses right over her ankle bone.<\/p>\n

She was surprised at the shot of pleasure that rushed through her, as his lips brushed her bare skin.\u00a0 That tickled, too, but in a good way.\u00a0 It felt nice.\u00a0 Maybe there was something to the rumored healing power of his kisses.\u00a0 She wished she could return the favor and kiss away his pain.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that feel better?\u201d Brian asked, and she smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cMuch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me help you up.\u201d\u00a0 He stood up and reached for her, pulling her to her feet.\u00a0 She swayed unsteadily at first and nearly collided into his chest, throwing her arms around his neck for support until she regained her balance.\u00a0 \u201cWhoa\u2026 you okay?\u201d he asked, chuckling, and she realized they were face to face.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she gasped, breathless.\u00a0 But she wasn\u2019t ready to let go of him yet.\u00a0 His bare shoulders were still wet from the shower, but his skin was warm and smooth.\u00a0 She could feel the muscle rippling underneath it.\u00a0 He smelled like soap.\u00a0 She inhaled, looking into his face, appreciating its finer details \u2013 the strength of his jawline and the angular shape of his high cheekbones, the wispy curls of hair around his ears and over his forehead, the gorgeous blue of his eyes, which seemed to twinkle as they gazed back at her.\u00a0 Like a moth drawn to light, she couldn\u2019t look away, and she felt herself leaning in closer, tilting her chin, until her lips connected with his.<\/p>\n

The first kiss was light and hesitant, but it was enough to send shockwaves through her body, which suddenly remembered how good it felt to be kissed and craved more.\u00a0 His body seemed to respond the same way, for his arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer, until their hips bumped together.\u00a0 He returned the kiss hungrily, and the second one was so deep, it made her dizzy with delight and lack of oxygen.<\/p>\n

He pressed her back into the banister, and they stumbled on the stairs, clinging to each other as their lips locked together.\u00a0 Finally, he lifted her up, her robe hitching higher as his hands slipped on its satiny material, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, as he carried her the few short steps into his bedroom.\u00a0 He lowered her gently onto the bed, and as she lay back, he leaned over her, kissing her lips, her cheeks, and down her neck.<\/p>\n

When he reached the part of her that was covered by the robe, he paused and looked up.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t stop,\u201d she begged, giving him the permission he sought to continue.\u00a0 Without a word, he nodded, parting the front of her robe so his lips could continue their trek down her body.\u00a0 She shivered with pleasure as they found the space between her breasts and lingered there awhile.\u00a0 When they started to go lower, she grew self-conscious and raked her fingers through his wavy hair, gently guiding his head back up toward hers.\u00a0 Their lips met again, and she let out a moan of anticipation as she felt the warm weight of his body climb on top of her.<\/p>\n

She ran her hands down his bare back until they found the bony edges of his hips.\u00a0 From them, she tore off the towel.\u00a0 As it dropped away from his body, she looked down and saw that he wanted this just as much as she did.\u00a0 Smiling, she threw back her head and arched her back, raising her hips as he lowered himself onto her.\u00a0 Then she closed her eyes and rocked her body along to the rhythm he set, enjoying every last measure of it.\u00a0 She hadn\u2019t experienced such pleasure in seven months, and in the heat of the moment, she had no regrets.<\/p>\n

It was only once Brian had rolled off of her and snuggled up beside her that the magnitude of what they\u2019d just done struck Gretchen.\u00a0 It was a gorgeous fall day outside, yet there she was, lying in bed with another man, just seven months after losing her husband.\u00a0 She was suddenly guilt-ridden, not because what they\u2019d done seemed so wrong, but because it felt so right.<\/p>\n

Turning her head toward Brian, she asked, \u201cSo, does this make us sinners?\u201d<\/p>\n

Brian pressed his lips together, seeming to consider the question for a long time before he answered.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re guilty of fornication, but not of adultery, if that\u2019s what you\u2019re thinking,\u201d he finally said, rolling over to face her.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ve both lost our spouses.\u00a0 But life goes on.\u00a0 You showed me that, Gretchen.\u00a0 You gave me a reason to keep surviving, when everything I loved in the world was gone.\u00a0 And now, I wanna do the same thing for you.\u00a0 I wanna be your reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

Touched by his tenderness, she whispered, \u201cYou are.\u201d\u00a0 And it was true.\u00a0 For months, she had lived in hope of one day seeing Shawn again; it was that hope and love for her husband which had kept her alive.\u00a0 But she could not deny that, even before she had accepted that Shawn was not coming back, she\u2019d felt an attraction to Brian.\u00a0 He had been there for her since Day One, and when she was with him, she felt protected.\u00a0 He would never leave her, the way Shawn had.\u00a0 It was Brian, not Shawn, who gave her the strength and faith she needed to survive.<\/p>\n

Her eyes swam with tears, and as they started to spill over, Brian leaned in and kissed both of her cheeks, wiping the tears away in the process.\u00a0 \u201cI know how you\u2019re feeling,\u201d he murmured, \u201c\u2019cause I\u2019m feeling the same way.\u00a0 But I think God understands.\u00a0 Life is a gift, and He\u2019d want us to make the most of it.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sure Shawn and Leighanne would want the same, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled; of course, he had known that she cared not about what God thought, but what Shawn would think.\u00a0 Nodding, she replied, \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled back and took her in his arms, holding her close against his chest.\u00a0 \u201cThen let\u2019s keep living,\u201d he whispered, and kissed her again.\u00a0 Outside the open window, the robins chirped their approval.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Chapter 88 \u201cLife goes on\u2026 if you can call this living.\u00a0 I guess we\u2019ve got to, too.\u201d Brian\u2019s the one who told me that, on one of those first days after the dead rose, when we were stuck in that … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":8,"menu_order":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"onecolumn-page.php","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=329"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":586,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329\/revisions\/586"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}