Chapter 10

 

Heidi’s POV

 

“We got picked; what is wrong?”  Darrin asked as he took the letter out of my hands. 

 

I sat silently at the table with my head in my hands fighting back tears of frustration and fear as I waited for Darrin to reread the letter more carefully this time.  The silence and tension in the room was thick and I could feel the pressure cutting off my air supply and suddenly without warning I let out a loud sob and quickly got up and fled the room nearly colliding with my dad who had just come home from visiting my grandmother who was recently admitted to a hospital about two hours away.

 

“What’s wrong?” I heard him ask Darrin as I entered my bedroom and slammed the door out of frustration for emphasis.  After several seconds of hushed talking between Darrin and my parents a soft knock was heard at the door and the door opened slowly; letting the light from the hallway overcome the dark room.  As the soft footsteps approached the bed I quickly turned my head in the opposite direction not wanting the person to see my red, tearstained face.  The person I quickly identified as my mother sat down on the edge of the bed and started to rub my back much like she did when I was younger and I was upset.

 

“I’m sorry,” was all she said before I burst into a new set of tears.

 

“Did you and Daddy get a letter?” I asked hopefully minutes later.

 

“No,” my mother sighed. 

 

“How is Grandma doing?” I asked to momentarily change the direction of the conversation.

 

My mother sat in silence before reaching for my hand and giving it a light squeeze.  “Well Grandma got a letter also saying that she and Grandpa were picked for the shelter but the letter also mentioned at the bottom about if the persons picked are too ill or are expected to die soon they need to give up their position so someone healthy can replace them.”

 

I nodded solemnly as I remembered reading over that part and waited for my mother to continue.  “So Grandma can’t go because the doctors feel she wouldn’t be able to make it long enough to get the shelter and Grandpa said he isn’t going without her so”

 

“So he isn’t going,” I finished for her, giving her hand a squeeze with my hand, both of us trying to fight back our tears. 

 

My mother nodded and we sat in silence; only the sound of Dad and Darrin talking in the living room was faintly heard.

 

“Grandma did like your wedding pictures though,” Mom said with a smile.

 

“They didn’t turn out too bad, did they?”  I asked, cringing as I thought about how horrible I look in all my pictures, hoping that just once they turned out all right.

 

“Nope, they were beautiful, sweetheart.” 

 

“You always say that, Mom,” I replied as I rolled to the side of the bed and got up to stretch.  “Even if in the pictures I was toothless and all dirty and covered in snot, you would say they were beautiful.” 

 

I grinned slightly as Mom rolled her eyes.  “But they are beautiful.  You just have to see them; they turned out really good.”

 

“Okay, I will take your word for it,” I said as I waited for Mom to get off of the bed.  Just as I reached for the doorknob my mom put her hand gently on my shoulder.

 

“You know you should tell Darrin while you still have a chance,” she said as she gently patted my stomach.

 

“I can’t, Mom.”

 

“But why not?  This is his child also!” she interrupted.

 

“Mom, I know, but I’m going to have a tough enough time trying to get him to go to the shelter.  Can you imagine how much harder it would be if he knew about it?  If he doesn’t know about it, I have a chance at convincing him to go.  Mom, if I would have been picked also, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him, but it is better this way, okay?”

 

“Okay, sweetheart,” Mom agreed hesitantly. “I trust you on this decision.”

 

“Thanks, Mom,” I said sincerely as I gave my mother a tight hug.

 

“You know what isn’t fair?” Mom spoke up suddenly.

 

“That the people like Grandma who got picked but can’t go can’t choose who can take their place.  I told Grandma about it and she said she would give the position to you without hesitation.”

 

“What did she say?” I asked as I drew back from the hug sharply.

 

“She is happy for the both of you.”  I sighed in relief when I heard this, knowing how my Grandmother reacted when my cousin got pregnant before getting married. 

 

“I’m glad,” I said with a smile.  “Come on, let’s go look at the pictures, and then I need to have a talk with Darrin.”

 

As my mother and I exited my room and walked down the hallway to the living room, I couldn’t keep my thoughts from wandering back to two days ago, when Darrin and I finally got married in the ceremony we had both imagined, but with fewer guests than originally planned.  All in all, the day was wonderful, and everyone enjoyed the time we all spent together.  I vowed that I would try my hardest to keep the time we all had left together a happy one, no matter how much it took to accomplish.

 

***

 

One week later

 

Julie’s POV

 

Bored out of my mind, I sat down at the computer and logged onto the internet.  As it connected, many random thoughts ran through my mind.   I wondered what it would be like at the shelter.   Would it be nice?  Or would it be more like some kind of prison?   Would I be able to bring my mom’s lap top along and get on the internet?  Would they have TV there?  What would I do to keep myself occupied?

 

Why would that matter? At least you’re going to live.  Most of the rest of the world only has a few weeks left, and you’re worried about being bored, I silently scolded myself, feeling ashamed at my selfishness.

 

As I got on the Instant Messenger, I glanced at my buddy list.  I had over a hundred buddies, and not one of them was online.   Lately, no one was on much.  And if they were, we didn’t talk.  After all, there wasn’t much to talk about except the asteroid, and who wanted to talk about that?   Glancing at the long list of the buddies that were offline, I wondered how many of them would be going to the shelter.

 

Probably not many, I thought sadly.   Glancing at Heidi’s screen name, I wondered if she had gotten picked.   Tears rose in my eyes as I realized how unlikely it would be for her to be picked too.

 

As I scrolled back up the list, I saw Michael’s screen name.  I smiled sadly, remembering our few IM conversations together.  I hadn’t chatted to him in a long time, yet I still knew his screen name and email address by heart. 

 

He’ll never know how much I love him, I thought sadly, minimizing my buddy list.   The thought was depressing.  I had always been too shy to tell him how I felt about him.   Now I wished I had been more outgoing.

 

I still can be, I realized suddenly.  With a burst of boldness, I got into my mail and opened up a new message.  I typed Michael’s email address in the “to” box and hurriedly started to type a message in the body. 

 

When I was done, I scrolled back up and read over the email.

 

Michael ~

 

I’m not sure if you’ll even get this or not, but I just had to email you.  There’s something I want to tell you.  I’ve wanted to tell you for some time now, but you know how shy I am, and I could never do it.  But now I’ve realized I better do it before it’s too late.  So here goes nothing.    

 

I love you.  I’ve loved you since we were in second grade.  And I still do.  All those times when I asked you to dance at our junior high dances, that was why.  I don’t know if you ever realized it or not, and I wanted to much to ask you out, but I just never had the nerve.  And in high school, we never saw each other, and you were always going out with someone else.  So I just never got the opportunity.  I could go on and on about my feelings for you, but I’m not going to.  I just wanted to let you know that I like you because I may not get another chance.

 

My family was picked to go to the shelter. We’re leaving tomorrow. A bus will be by around noon to pick us up.  If you want to talk or anything, call me.  In case I don’t get to talk to you before I leave, good luck and God bless.

 

Love,

Julie

 

My hand was shaking ever so slightly as I moved the mouse, sending the cursor up to the “send” button.  Taking a deep breath, I clicked it.  Moments later, a new page came up saying that the message had been sent. 

 

I let out my breath in a long whoosh.  I had done it.  Now I just had to wait and see what would happen.

 

***