{"id":394,"date":"2014-12-30T07:47:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T07:47:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/?page_id=394"},"modified":"2021-12-20T11:22:29","modified_gmt":"2021-12-20T17:22:29","slug":"part6","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/episodes\/episode11\/part6\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 6"},"content":{"rendered":"

A 00Carter Christmas<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Act II: \u00a0How Dr. Rough Stole Christmas<\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Snowflakes fell from the twilit sky, each one unique and pristine. They covered the crowns of the tallest trees, dotting the leaves like dandruff. They blanketed the branches below. They carpeted the soft floor of the swamp in a thick layer of white, unsullied but for the trail of muddy footprints that led to a thick, green cypress tree, where a group of men had gathered.<\/p>\n

\u201cTimber!\u201d one of them shouted as the cypress began to wobble.<\/p>\n

\u201c–lake!\u201d added a second man, grinning impishly at the others before scrambling out of the path of the falling tree.<\/p>\n

\u201cD-don\u2019t let Drums hear you saying that, Danny,\u201d warned a third man, his willowy frame trembling. \u201cYou know he doesn\u2019t go by that name anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t get your tighty-whities in a wad, New Kid,\u201d retorted Danny, rolling his eyes. \u201cYou know Drums ain\u2019t around. Drums is too good, too important, to do something as trivial as cut down the FANS Christmas tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDrums has s-served us well,\u201d stammered Donnie, his rat-like eyes shifting around nervously. \u201cHe\u2019s been a most f-faithful servant to our master.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a crock of bull,\u201d spat Danny venomously. \u201cWe\u2019ve all been in Dr. Rough\u2019s service much longer than he has. But oh, Drums gave his right hand for FANS, so Drums gets rewarded. The favoritism in this terrorist league is nauseating.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan it, Wood,\u201d snapped the first man. \u201cLet\u2019s get this tree back to the base and decorate it so we can show Dr. Rough. Then maybe we\u2019ll be rewarded for bringing the Christmas spirit to the FANS headquarters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea, Jon,\u201d agreed Donnie, nodding eagerly. \u201cL-let\u2019s go. Heigh-hoooo!<\/em>\u201d he suddenly sang out, his anxious squeak of a voice deepening into a strong baritone.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeigh-hoooo!\u201d<\/em> echoed the Merry Minions.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeigh-ho,\u201d<\/em> sang Jon.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeigh-ho,\u201d<\/em> growled Danny.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeigh-hoooo!\u201d<\/em> trilled Donnie.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeigh-ho! Heigh-ho!\u201d<\/em> they chorused, \u201cIt\u2019s home to FANS we go!\u201d<\/em> They whistled cheerfully as they hoisted the fallen tree onto their shoulders and marched off through the snow-covered swamp. \u201cHeigh-ho! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It\u2019s home to FANS we go!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Still whistling, they trooped through the muck, shouldering the massive cypress, until the surrounding trees began to thin. By the time they stepped into the shadow of the looming FANS fortress, their tune had changed.<\/p>\n

\u201cFah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze,\u201d<\/em> sang the minions as they carried the tree into the building. \u201cWelcome Christmas, bring your light!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cFah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze,\u201d<\/em> they continued on while they set the tree up and strung it with twinkling purple lights. \u201cWelcome in the cold dark night!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

And when the cypress was fully trimmed with tinsel and garland, ornaments and embellishments, they stood in a circle around it, their hands clasped together, and chorused, \u201cWelcome Christmas, fah who rah-moose! Welcome Christmas, dah who dah-moose! Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Bathed in a ring of soft, lavender light, the minions were oblivious to the short man who skulked in the shadows, watching them with one eye twitching furiously, his lip curling up in a sneer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Every agent down at HimTak<\/em><\/span>
\n Liked Christmas a lot,<\/em><\/span>
\n But DR. ROUGH,<\/em><\/span>
\n The nemesis of HimTak, did NOT!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From his shadowy corner, Rough scowled at his minions, who were still singing, \u201cFah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze, welcome Christmas, come this way! Fah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze, welcome Christmas, Christmas Day!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

They sang with their eyes closed, big cheesy grins splitting their faces. They sang with their hands swinging, their heads bobbing in time to their song. They sang without worry. They sang without shame. They sang without money or promise of fame. \u201cWelcome, welcome, fah who rah-moose! Welcome, welcome, dah who dah-moose! Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp! Fah who for-aze, dah who dor-aze\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Dr. Rough could take it no longer. \u201cENOUGH!\u201d he bellowed, storming out of his corner. The minions stopped in their tracks, quickly dropping hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cDr. Rough!\u201d exclaimed Jonathan Knight, the first to recover from his shock. \u201cYour timing is impeccable! We just finished trimming the tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTree!\u201d spat Dr. Rough. \u201cWhat tree?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, this tree, sir,\u201d replied Jon, gesturing to the towering cypress, all bedazzled in shimmering silver and violet. \u201cThe FANS Christmas tree!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChristmas\u2026\u201d Dr. Rough\u2019s sneer became more pronounced. He narrowed his eyes, the left one still twitching. \u201cI hate a number of things, as you well know. Himitsu Takana. Incompetence. The word \u2018short.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t forget the \u2018It\u2019s a Small World\u2019 ride at Disney World,\u201d inserted Abs Breen helpfully. Dr. Rough flashed him a seething stare. If the prototype of his death-ray spectacles were finished, so that looks could kill, Abs would have dropped dead in an instant. As it was, he merely ducked his head, muttering, \u201cNever mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough cleared his throat importantly before continuing his monologue. \u201cBut if there\u2019s one thing I hate above all others\u2026 well, perhaps not the three others I mentioned, but certainly all the other others\u2026\u201d He paused for suspense while the minions waited with bated breath. \u201c\u2026it\u2019s CHRISTMAS!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Rough hated Christmas!\u00a0 The whole Christmas season!<\/em><\/span>
\n You wanna know why?\u00a0 I’ll tell you the reason:<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cChristmas!\u201d gasped the minions, looking in disbelief from their festive swamp tree back to their outraged leader. \u201cBut why?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll tell you why,\u201d growled Dr. Rough. \u201cChristmas has become so commercial. It\u2019s not about Jesus anymore; it\u2019s about Santa Claus. Santa Claus\u2026 what a disgusting heap of lard. He\u2019s a hero in children\u2019s eyes, all because he brings toys to the whole world on Christmas Eve. He and his reindeer — mangy, mutated beasts — take all the credit for the joy and excitement the children feel on Christmas morning, but they aren\u2019t the real heroes. They only deliver the toys. Santa Claus is merely a mailman in a souped-up sleigh. The real heroes are the creators, the masterminds behind the toys: the toymakers themselves. The elves.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It wasn’t that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right;<\/em><\/span>
\n Dr. Rough hated Christmas because of his height!<\/em><\/span>
\n Though twisted and evil, he had pity for all<\/em><\/span>
\n The creatures mistreated because they are small,<\/em><\/span>
\n And Santa, you see, works his elves like they’re slaves,<\/em><\/span>
\n Forcing them to make toys without makin\u2019 bank.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSanta\u2019s elves are slave labor,\u201d Dr. Rough ranted on. \u201cUnpaid, uncredited, unappreciated. There aren\u2019t even any Christmas songs about elves!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy, yes there are,\u201d spoke up Abs again. \u201cThere\u2019s that tune from the old Rudolph special, \u2018We Are Santa\u2019s Elves.\u2019 You know\u2026 \u2018We are Santa\u2019s elves\u2026 filling Santa\u2019s shelves\u2026 with a toy for each girl and boy, oh, we are Santa\u2019s–\u2019<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSILENCE!\u201d roared Dr. Rough. \u201cEnough singing!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d muttered Abs, seeming to shrink again slightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSanta\u2019s elves!\u201d Dr. Rough spat. \u201cSanta\u2019s elves! Like they\u2019re his belongings\u2026 his playthings\u2026 his property<\/em>! Slaves, I tell you. Slaves! And all because they\u2019re different! All because they\u2019re short<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

The minions exchanged knowing looks.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re absolutely right, Dr. Rough,\u201d Jon piped up. \u201cI never saw it that way before, but you make a good point. The commercialism of Christmas is only perpetuating the problem of slave labor in the North Pole. So, what are we going to do about it?\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time, Dr. Rough smiled. His eyes gleamed, reflecting the purple light from the tree. \u201cSo glad you asked,\u201d he simpered dangerously.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Plotting deep in his lair, with his trademark eye twitch,<\/em><\/span>
\n Dr. Rough forged a plan to fix this injustice,<\/em><\/span>
\n For he knew the whole world, which would soon be his,<\/em><\/span>
\n Was supporting slave labor by asking for gifts.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t tell us you want to bomb the North Pole,\u201d pleaded Jeff Timmons. \u201cThe South Pole was bad enough! I mean, unless you\u2019re gonna send MJ with a pack of explosives strapped to his chest\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Joey Fatone suddenly gasped. \u201cDr. Rough would never do that to MJ! Would you?\u201d he asked Dr. Rough uncertainly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not,\u201d Dr. Rough replied coolly. \u201cI\u2019d send the underling who deemed it acceptable to use the prototype of my weather machine — the last remaining model of the device, I should add, since those meddling agents of Himitsu Takana confiscated the finished version we installed in the Magic Kingdom — to dump a blizzard of snow on the Everglades, thus attracting unwanted attention to our little hideout.\u201d His eyes bored into Joey\u2019s; he knew exactly who was responsible for using his weather machine without permission.<\/p>\n

Joey gulped. \u201cSorry, sir, my bad. I just thought a little snow would add to the festive atmosphere around here. It won\u2019t happen again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFestive atmosphere,\u201d sneered Dr. Rough. \u201cIt had better not happen again. The last time you used my weather machine to make it snow, Himitsu Takana took notice and came to foil my plans once again. Do you want this plan to be foiled as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is<\/em> your plan, Dr. Rough?\u201d asked Danny.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs I was about to explain before I was so rudely interrupted,\u201d growled Dr. Rough, with a beady look at Jeff. \u201cI was in my chamber the other night, watching my VHS copy of Blue Toes the Christmas Elf<\/em>, and I was thinking about poor Blue Toes and how he sacrificed so much to make the children happy and please his master, despite the appalling mistreatment he\u2019d been forced to endure for the first twenty minutes of the program.\u201d Dr. Rough\u2019s frown deepened. \u201cAnd I thought, \u2018I just cannot stand for such abuse to continue. I am a powerful man\u2026 In fact, soon, I\u2019ll be the most powerful man in the world. Surely, I can do something to sabotage Santa\u2019s sadistic slavery,\u2019\u201d he hissed. \u201cBut what? So I plotted and schemed\u2026 I schemed and plotted\u2026 and at last, it came to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I’ll start a revolution!” he snarled with a sneer.<\/em><\/span>
\n “A crusade, a boycott of Christmas this year!”<\/em><\/span>
\n Then he growled, with his left eye nervously twitching,<\/em><\/span>
\n And thought, “This will never work how I’m wishing!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

For tomorrow, he knew, all the mamas and pops<\/em><\/span>
\n Would wake up bright and early.\u00a0 They’d rush to the shops!<\/em><\/span>
\n They’d buy all the toys made in sweatshops by elves.<\/em><\/span>
\n With those Black Friday deals, why, they’d clear the shelves!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

And the elves, young and old, wouldn’t earn a dime<\/em><\/span>
\n For all their hard work and all of their time.<\/em><\/span>
\n Santa, the Big Man, would make a gold mine<\/em><\/span>
\n Off the little guys’ work on the assembly line,<\/em><\/span>
\n Which was something Dr. Rough thought just didn’t seem right!<\/em><\/span>
\n And the more he thought of this elf injustice,<\/em><\/span>
\n The more Rough thought, “I must stop this whole mess!<\/em><\/span>
\n But change doesn’t come without shit going down.<\/em><\/span>
\n I MUST start a jihad on Christmas!<\/em><\/span>
\n …But HOW?”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou see, I knew merely boycotting the holiday would never be enough,\u201d Dr. Rough went on. \u201cEven if we used the hypnotic device again to brainwash people into following the boycott, it wouldn\u2019t be enough. We must make them pay for their commercialistic greed! We must steal their Christmas spirit away!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then he got an idea!<\/em><\/span>
\n An awful idea!<\/em><\/span>
\n DR. ROUGH<\/em><\/span>
\n GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSteal\u2026\u201d he mused. \u201cYes\u2026 that\u2019s what we\u2019ll do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDr. Rough?\u201d asked Jon.<\/p>\n

A devious grin split the FANS leader\u2019s face. \u201cWithout money, greed, and Christmas spirit, there will be no demand for toys. The basic economic principle of supply and demand dictates that without demand, there is no need for supply. And if toy supplies are no longer needed, neither is elf labor. Santa will let his elves go. They\u2019ll be freed!<\/p>\n

The minions began to nod, still listening closely, rapt and attentive. Dr. Rough was enjoying himself, enjoying the way he could still keep them spellbound with his grand schemes.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo all we must do,\u201d he went on, \u201cis kill the Christmas spirit, leave families so hopeless and destitute that they long for only the necessities, not frivolities like toys. We must\u2026 STEAL CHRISTMAS!\u201d<\/p>\n

The minions gasped in delight. \u201cIt\u2019s genius!\u201d they cried. \u201cBrilliant! Unheard of!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026 Dr. Rough,\u201d the irritatingly English voice of Abs rose above the others. \u201cBeg pardon, sir, but I thought perhaps you might tell us\u2026 how precisely do you expect to — as you put it, sir — steal<\/em> Christmas? Pardon my skepticism, master, but it seems a bit\u2026 ambitious.\u201d<\/p>\n

The light left Dr. Rough\u2019s eyes as they darkened with rage. \u201cAmbitious,\u201d he snorted. \u201cOf course it\u2019s ambitious! When have I ever conjured up a plan which was not ambitious?! You think I am incapable of carrying out an ambitious scheme?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026 n-no, of course not, dear master,\u201d Abs sputtered, chortling nervously. \u201cI merely queried–\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSave your queries!\u201d shouted Dr. Rough. \u201cThere\u2019s no need to question a leader of my brilliance. I\u2019ve thought through every detail, and I know just what to do. Now, gather round, my minions, and listen to the plan.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I know just what to do!” Dr. Rough told his crew,<\/em><\/span>
\n And he rented a Santa suit and some elf costumes,<\/em><\/span>
\n And he cackled and crowed, “What a genius I am!<\/em><\/span>
\n With these festive costumes, we’ll stick it to The Man!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBrills!\u201d exclaimed Abs, looking at the selection of elf costumes draped across the furniture. \u201cWhich one will you be wearing, master?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI?\u201d Dr. Rough looked affronted. \u201cI will be wearing the Santa suit, naturally. What did you think? That I would be dressed as an elf??\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I merely thought\u2026 for authenticity\u2019s sake\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter quit while you\u2019re ahead, buddy,\u201d muttered Joey out of the side of his mouth.<\/p>\n

But it was too late; Dr. Rough had already caught the meaning. \u201cAre you calling Dr. Rough\u2026 short?\u201d he asked in a deathly whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cN-no, Dr. Rough, of-of course not!\u201d insisted Abs, his eyes widening in terror.<\/p>\n

\u201cFATONE!\u201d roared Dr. Rough. \u201cTake our friend Abs to my lab. He\u2019ll serve me best as a guinea pig for the tests on my death-ray spectacles! Let me know when you succeed in vaporizing him!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joey cleared his throat awkwardly. \u201cYou got it, Dr. Rough,\u201d he said, reluctantly taking Abs by the arm.<\/p>\n

As he dragged him off, the other minions could hear Abs screaming, \u201cNo, wait! Dr. Rough, please! I didn\u2019t mean it! Honest, I didn\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n

The door slammed shut, muffling his pleas. The remaining minions watched their master warily, waiting for orders. \u201cWell?\u201d said Dr. Rough. \u201cWhat are you waiting for? Grab a costume! The Santa suit is mine.\u201d With that, he walked off, slinging a garment bag containing the red velvet suit over his shoulder, and disappeared behind a screen to change.<\/p>\n

Quickly, the minions scrambled into action. Articles of bright green and red clothing were thrown hither and yon as the minions selected elf tunics to wear. Spandex snapped as the minions pulled festive tights over their hairy legs. Bells jingled as they put on curly-toed shoes and pointed hats. By the time Dr. Rough emerged from behind the screen, decked from head to toe in red velvet trimmed with white fur, all of the remaining minions stood before him in flamboyant elf ensembles, shifting their weight uncomfortably from foot to jingle-belled foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cHm\u2026\u201d Dr. Rough stopped to survey them, stroking his long, white beard. \u201cSome of you are a little large to be elves, but I suppose you\u2019ll do. The silly children will be fooled, in any case. Children will believe anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

The minions snickered. But then Danny spoke up. \u201cHow we gonna break into their houses to steal all their stuff, Dr. Rough? It won\u2019t exactly fool them if we break the windows or kick down the doors, will it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not, you fool,\u201d retorted Dr. Rough. \u201cWe won\u2019t need to break windows or doors — those are the tactics of amateurs. No, we shall do this the right way: We\u2019ll land on the roof and come down the chimney.\u201d<\/p>\n

The minions exchanged uneasy glances, but Dr. Rough laughed. \u201cYou underestimate me! I see the looks on your faces — you think my plan won\u2019t work!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re just, uh\u2026 just a little unsure about the logistics, Dr. Rough,\u201d said Jon.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026 but you haven\u2019t seen the best part of my plan, the element I\u2019ve been working on in secret ever since the first Christmas commercials began airing on Halloween night. Follow me to the garage.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a bounce in Dr. Rough\u2019s step as he led the minions down to the ground level, where an expansive garage held all of their vehicles. The raised heels of his black, leather boots clicked on the concrete floor as he strode over to a remote corner, where a tarp covered a vehicle the size of a small speedboat.<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough cleared his throat and grandly announced, \u201cFeast your eyes upon\u2026\u201d He whipped off the tarp so fast that it flew up into his face. The momentum thrust him backward, knocking him off his feet. \u201cOof!\u201d The wind rushed out of him as he landed hard on his rear, the tarp pooling on top of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cM-master!\u201d squeaked Donnie, hurrying to pull the tarp off of him. He offered Dr. Rough his pale, trembling hand, which Dr. Rough ignored, scrambling to his feet and dusting off his red velvet backside.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026my sleigh,\u201d he finished, though the grandeur had gone from his voice.<\/p>\n

The minions turned their attention back to what had formerly been covered by the tarp. Dr. Rough felt better when he heard their awed intake of breath as their eyes took in the sight of a large, shiny, black sleigh, customized with a decal of Dr. Twitches in a red nose and Santa hat and the FANS logo in small, silver lettering.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s beautiful, master,\u201d Jon was the first to proclaim. \u201cDoes it fly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course it flies. It\u2019s equipped with twin jet engines and a high-tech GPS navigation system,\u201d boasted Dr. Rough with pride. \u201cIt even features a missile launcher and an aerosol spray tank filled with the last of our FANthrax supply, should we need to attack. But the important thing is, it will get us around efficiently enough to steal Christmas from New York. There will be no brotherly love in the city after twelve days of Christmas robberies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBrotherly love? Isn\u2019t that Philadelphia?\u201d asked Danny.<\/p>\n

\u201cIRRELEVANT!\u201d snapped Dr. Rough. \u201cWhat matters is, we have our sleigh, and we have our elves. All we need now\u2026 is a reindeer.\u201d<\/p>\n

A reindeer! The minions, in their ridiculous elf costumes, looked around at each other. Wherever would they get a reindeer in this part of the country?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All we need is a reindeer…” Dr. Rough started to say,<\/em><\/span>
\n But, see, reindeer don’t live in the Everglades.<\/em><\/span>
\n Did that stop Dr. Rough? Oh hells no, no way!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

At that moment, a horrific, metallic grinding noise caused them all to jump and cringe, clapping their hands to their ears. They looked up towards its source and saw Drums standing beside a cement pillar, his hook raised. He had scraped it down the pillar to get their attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod damn, Drums, couldn\u2019t you have just said hi?\u201d Jeff complained.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d Drums deadpanned.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever mind that,\u201d Dr. Rough quickly interfered. \u201cWhat is it, Drums?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI been sent to tell ya dat Fatone done managed to burn Abs wit dose death-ray specs. He ain\u2019t dead, though,\u201d relayed Drums in a bored voice. \u201cWuzzup wit all dis?\u201d His robotic red eye shifted from the sleigh to the oddly-dressed minions.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve just been briefing the minions on our next mission,\u201d said Dr. Rough. \u201cAnd I do believe we\u2019ve found the solution to our current problem\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

For he was suddenly staring into Drums\u2019s single red eye, the eye which he himself had implanted into his prot\u00e9g\u00e9\u2019s empty socket. He had grown so used to it that he hardly remembered what Drums had looked like before, when he was the miserable HimTak outcast Dr. Rough had recruited. But now, it was as if he were seeing the eye for the first time.<\/p>\n

He cleared his throat, smiled fondly at Drums, and said, \u201cDrumzy, with your eye so bright\u2026 won\u2019t you guide my sleigh tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

“If I can’t find a reindeer, then Drums will guide my sleigh!”<\/em><\/span>
\n “Aw, hells no, dat’s whack!” I cried in dismay.<\/em><\/span>
\n “But Drums, you’ve got the red eye to light my way!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. No way. You trippin\u2019, D-Rough. Ain\u2019t no way I be puttin\u2019 antlers on mah head like some effed-up cyborg Rudolph,\u201d protested Drums.<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough was still smiling. \u201cNonsense. We need you, Drums. Even the silliest of children wouldn\u2019t believe in a sleigh without a reindeer. You\u2019ll be perfect. And, of course, if you still need a little\u2026 persuasion\u2026 never forget that Dr. Rough rewards his helpers.\u201d<\/p>\n

And from within a large, burlap sack that lay across the seat of the sleigh, almost as if he had planned this, Dr. Rough retrieved a small package, wrapped in silver paper. He held it out to Drums.<\/p>\n

\u201cWuz dis?\u201d Drums asked suspiciously.<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough kept smiling. \u201cOpen it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Drums hesitated, but his curiosity got the better of him. He ripped the shiny paper with one swipe of his hook, then shook it off with his good hand to reveal a handsome, black leather case. He used the tip of the hook to pry up the top. For a moment, he could only stare, his eye wide with awe. Then he looked up at Dr. Rough. \u201cDr. Rough,\u201d he whispered. \u201cMaster\u2026 it\u2019s beautiful\u2026 thank you\u2026 thank you<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The minions watched curiously as Dr. Rough reached into the box Drums still held and pulled out a gleaming replica of a human hand. Shining, bright as moonlight, it looked as if it had been made of molten silver, an exact mold of Drums\u2019s severed hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll attach it before the thirteenth of December if you agree to be our reindeer,\u201d promised Dr. Rough.<\/p>\n

It was an offer Drums couldn\u2019t refuse. That was why, on December thirteenth, he found himself wearing a jumpsuit of thick, matted brown fur, a pair of heavy antlers tied down to his head, and a bulbous clown nose to match his eye. \u201cYou\u2019s a mean one\u2026 Dr. Rough,\u201d<\/em> he sang under his breath, flexing the shining fingers of his new hand, now attached seamlessly to his arm, as though he were wearing a dazzling silver glove. \u201cYou really\u2026 is\u2026 a heel. You\u2019s as cuddly as a cactus; you\u2019s as charmin\u2019 as an eel, Dr. Rou-ough! You\u2019s a bad banana wit a\u2026 greasy black peel!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He picked up a small twig on the ground and crushed it into powder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SO\u2026 He dressed me in fur, stuck some antlers on my head.<\/em><\/span>
\n I didn’t feel like no pimp; I’da rather been dead,<\/em><\/span>
\n But Dr. Rough said, “Too bad!” and made us start packin’<\/em><\/span>
\n And flew us to New York to put his plan into action.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Part 7<\/a><\/strong><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A 00Carter Christmas Act II: \u00a0How Dr. Rough Stole Christmas     Snowflakes fell from the twilit sky, each one unique and pristine. They covered the crowns of the tallest trees, dotting the leaves like dandruff. They blanketed the branches below. They carpeted the soft floor of the swamp in\u2026<\/p>\n

Read more<\/span><\/i><\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":147,"menu_order":6,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"templates\/template-onecolumn.php","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-394","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P5xaHX-6m","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":952,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/394\/revisions\/952"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/147"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}