{"id":400,"date":"2014-12-30T07:56:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T07:56:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/?page_id=400"},"modified":"2021-12-20T11:34:51","modified_gmt":"2021-12-20T17:34:51","slug":"part8","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/00carter\/episodes\/episode11\/part8\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 8"},"content":{"rendered":"

A 00Carter Christmas<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Act II: \u00a0How Dr. Rough Stole Christmas<\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

In eleven days, FANS robbed near a dozen more houses<\/em><\/span>
\n Leaving crumbs much too small for a dozen more mouses<\/em><\/span>
\n And on the twelfth day, the twenty-fourth of December,<\/em><\/span>
\n Passing skaters in the Plaza, enjoying the weather,<\/em><\/span>
\n Dr. Rough sent his minions on the ultimate scheme:<\/em><\/span>
\n Rob FAO Schwarz and blow up the big tree!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even Dr. Rough was in a festive mood on Christmas Eve. He sang under his breath as he and his merry minions marched up 49th Street. \u201cOn the twelfth day of Christmas, my minions stole for me\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTwelve cookies waiting,\u201d<\/em> sang Joey, patting his belly appreciatively through the green tunic that was stretched so taut across its girth, the seams threatened to split.<\/p>\n

\u201cEleven carols playing,\u201d<\/em> chimed in Abs, whose eyebrows had been scorched off (though, to his relief, the death ray spectacles were not yet fully operational).<\/p>\n

\u201cTen pies-a-baking,\u201d<\/em> added Justin Jeffre, just happy to have a part at last — and pie, of course.<\/p>\n

\u201cNine gifts-a-stacking,\u201d<\/em> crooned his buddy Jeff, carrying a bulging package in his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cEight light-up reindeer,\u201d<\/em> followed Jacob, his dreadlocks dancing on his shoulders beneath the elf hat perched jauntily on his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeven blow-up snow globes,\u201d<\/em> articulated Erik, adjusting the crotch of his flaming red tights.<\/p>\n

\u201cSix plastic Santas,\u201d<\/em> belted Dan, too boring to warrant further description.<\/p>\n

\u201cFive holly wreaths,\u201d<\/em> trilled Trevor, tripping over the curly toe of his shoes.<\/p>\n

\u201cFour j-jingle bells,\u201d<\/em> squeaked Donnie, shaking in his own elf boots.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree stockings,\u201d<\/em> intoned Brad, satisfied with his three notes.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo mistletoe,\u201d<\/em> descended Devin, bowing towards his master.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a trimmed family Christmas tree!\u201d<\/em> finished Dr. Rough grandly, outstretching his arms toward the colossal Rockefeller Christmas tree that towered before them. \u201cIsn\u2019t it exquisite?\u201d he asked his minions. \u201cIt will be even more beautiful when it\u2019s burning. In a few hours, all this will be nothing but a smoldering pile of ashes. While the world weeps, we\u2019ll be roasting red and green marshmallows over its charred remains.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOoh, can we make Christmas s\u2019mores?!\u201d asked Joey eagerly, the bells on his shoes jingling as he jumped up and down. His eyes were round, and so was his belly, which shook as he bounced like a bowl full of jelly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSilence!\u201d snapped Dr. Rough. \u201cLet us not get ahead of ourselves. First, we must plant the bomb.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are we going to do that with all these people around?\u201d asked Jeff, looking around. Rockefeller Plaza was packed with tourists posing for pictures in front of the tree. Below, even more people skated in circles around the ice rink. And the city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, were packed with last-minute shoppers dressed in holiday style.<\/p>\n

Much as it irked him to do so, Dr. Rough had to admit that the minion had a point. \u201cWe\u2019ll have to create a diversion,\u201d he decided. \u201cThen Donnie will be free to sneak under the tree undetected.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cM-m-me?!\u201d squeaked Donnie. \u201cBut Master, why does it always have to be me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me, I would much rather Drums do it. But as he is overseeing the other half of our mission, I\u2019ve decided to give you the honor. I know you won\u2019t let Dr. Rough down, now, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Donnie quivered. \u201cN-no, Dr. Rough, of course not. But, if I m-might make a s-suggestion, maybe you yourself should do it, Master. You\u2019d have an easier time getting under the tree because you\u2019re sh–\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShh!\u201d hissed Abs, who had seen what happened to minions who insinuated that their master or the world he sought to dominate was small in any way.<\/p>\n

Donnie seemed to realize his mistake and quickly tried to cover it up. \u201cShape!\u201d he blurted. \u201cIn shape! \u2018Because you\u2019re in shape\u2019 is what I meant to say — s-sorry, Master.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough puffed out his chest. \u201cYes, it\u2019s true that my body is a wonderland. But my brain is even more wondrous. I shall oversee the diversion while you climb into that tree.\u201d<\/p>\n

Donnie sighed miserably and nodded. \u201cYes, Master.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTimmons!\u201d Dr. Rough barked. \u201cThe package!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jeff handed Donnie a large box, wrapped up like a Christmas present. Beneath the big red bow, the bomb was ticking away. As Donnie reached out to take hold of his throbbing package, Jeff asked, \u201cHow will we create a diversion?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave that to me and MJ.\u201d Dr. Rough reached inside his fur-lined Santa suit and pulled out his minion penguin, who was wearing a striped scarf. He scouted out the plaza, then pointed in the direction of a Salvation Army bell-ringer on a nearby street corner. He whispered something in MJ\u2019s ear and set the penguin down on the ground.<\/p>\n

The minions all watched the penguin waddle off across the street. \u201cWhat is he going to do, Dr. Rough?\u201d they wanted to know. \u201cSteal the donation kettle?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll see. Come — to the ice rink!\u201d commanded Dr. Rough, leading the way. \u201cWhile MJ distracts that wretched volunteer, we shall attract the attention of everyone else in the plaza by starting the world\u2019s longest ice skating chain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Dr. Rough–\u201d Always the voice of dissension, Abs couldn\u2019t help but frown. \u201c–beg pardon, sir, but do you even know how to ice skate?\u201d<\/p>\n

His minion\u2019s assumption made Dr. Rough\u2019s blood boil, but he knew he couldn\u2019t gun Abs down in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza. A public execution would only attract the wrong sort of attention. No, he had to play it cool, so he simply scoffed, ignoring the heat creeping up his neck. \u201cOf course,\u201d he said, waving the minion\u2019s concern away as if he hadn\u2019t a care. \u201cHow difficult can it be?\u201d<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, MJ moonwalked his way towards the man in the Santa hat who stood on the sidewalk, resolutely ringing his red bell. \u201cHey!\u201d the man shouted as something small skidded straight into the stand that held his donation kettle, knocking it over. As the red kettle crashed to the ground, its top came off, and coins rolled every which way down the sidewalk and into the street. The bell-ringer looked down in dismay and blinked in bewilderment at the strange sight that awaited him: a red-eyed penguin in a striped scarf. \u201cWhy, you\u2019re a penguin!\u201d he cried.<\/p>\n

MJ honked in reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what is a penguin doin\u2019 here?\u201d the man wondered aloud.<\/p>\n

MJ brought one of his flippers up to his brow, pantomiming searching for something.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re lookin\u2019 for a stick?\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cA branch?\u201d the man guessed. \u201cA log? A pole?\u201d<\/p>\n

The penguin honked, nodding.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe North Pole? No\u2026 the South Pole!\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ honked and nodded again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, little fella\u2026 that\u2019s on the other end of the Earth. You\u2019re just about as lost as you can get,\u201d the bell-ringer said. \u201cYou better come with me. You need someone to take care of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ leaped into the man\u2019s arms and used his beak to plant a penguin kiss upon his cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, now, cut that out!\u201d laughed the bell-ringer. \u201cCome on, eh\u2026 Topper! I\u2019ll call you Topper! Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ honked twice, which meant \u201cFuck you,\u201d<\/em> though the man took it to mean \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He chuckled. \u201cCome on,\u201d he said, scooping the coins back into his kettle. \u201cThis way, little fella.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man started to lead MJ down the street, but they both stopped in their tracks when they heard a voice boom, \u201cWHO NEARS MY MOUNTAIN?!\u201d They turned in terror toward the alley they had just passed, where a bum wearing a Burger King crown over his long, stringy hair was perched atop a heap of trash. \u201cGo back!\u201d he bellowed, his long beard quivering, \u201cor you are\u2026 DOOOOOOOOMED!\u201d<\/p>\n

The bell-ringer smiled. \u201cMerry Christmas to you, too, sir. Here–\u201d He bent down and picked up a stray dollar bill that had blown away from the spilled contents of his kettle. \u201cGod bless you,\u201d he said, handing it to the homeless man. \u201cCome on, Topper.\u201d<\/p>\n

But MJ squawked and waddled off in the opposite direction.<\/p>\n

\u201cTopper, come back!\u201d called the bell-ringer, the coins clinking in his kettle as he chased after the penguin. The chase led him all the way back to the ice rink in the center of Rockefeller Plaza, where a small man in a Santa suit stood shakily upon a pair of skates. MJ moonwalked circles around him, at home on the ice. \u201cOh,\u201d said the bell-ringer sadly as he started to make sense of the scene in front of him. \u201cI see\u2026 this is your real owner, huh, Topper?\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ honked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMany thanks for bringing back my beloved minion — er, I mean, penguin,\u201d said Dr. Rough, his weak ankles wobbling as he struggled to stay upright on the rented skates. He found that he had grossly overestimated his ability to ice skate, though he wasn\u2019t yet ready to admit it. Dr. Rough, admit defeat? Never! \u201cCome, MJ,\u201d he called, and the penguin glided smoothly to a stop at his feet. He reached down and took hold of one end of the scarf he had knitted for his flightless friend two Christmases ago when his ice lair was still intact. \u201cYou shall lead the world\u2019s longest skating chain.\u201d<\/p>\n

MJ obediently moonwalked across the ice, pulling his master along with him, but Dr. Rough promptly lost his balance and face-planted flat upon the ice. \u201cWHY DID NO ONE BREAK MY FALL?!\u201d he ranted, glaring up at his human minions, who were exchanging guilty glances.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve never skated before, have you?\u201d the bell-ringer observed as \u201cSanta Rough\u201d struggled to his feet.<\/p>\n

The FANS leader felt his face redden. \u201cI\u2019m from Florida!\u201d he snapped. \u201cI\u2019ve never had a reason to! Who knew it would be so difficult to learn to skate?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDifficult?\u201d The bell-ringer chuckled. \u201cWhy, look here. Learning to ice skate is as easy as\u2026 taking your first step!\u201d<\/p>\n

Out of nowhere, a band of street musicians struck up a snazzy tune, and the bell-ringer began to sing. \u201cPut one foot in front of the other\u2026 and soon, you\u2019ll be skating \u2019round the ri-i-ink! Put one foot in front of the other\u2026 and soon, you\u2019ll be skating all in sync!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHell yeah!\u201d said Joey, taking Dr. Rough\u2019s free hand. \u201cC\u2019mon, guys!\u201d<\/p>\n

The other minions joined hands, forming a chain as Dr. Rough took one tentative step and then another across the ice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never will get where you\u2019re goin\u2019\u2026 if you never get up on your feet,\u201d<\/em> sang the Salvation Army volunteer. \u201cCome on, there\u2019s a good tail wind blowin\u2019! A fast-skating man is hard to beat!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJust ask Apollo Ono!\u201d added a man in a pink, sequined elf costume as he sashayed by, his frosted hair blowing in the breeze.<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough knew he hadn\u2019t dressed any of his minions in pink, but he was concentrating too hard on keeping his balance to give the man a second thought. Encouraged, he let his skates slide a little more smoothly across the ice as, all around him, skaters scurried to join the growing chain, singing along to the words of a song they somehow all seemed to know. \u201cPut one foot in front of the other,\u201d they chorused, cheering him on, \u201cand soon, you\u2019ll be skating \u2019round the ri-i-ink! Put one foot in front of the other\u2026 and soon, we\u2019ll be skating all in sync!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we will!\u201d sang the flamboyant elf, slipping one of his pink angora mittens into the hand of the last link in what was quickly becoming a long chain of skaters. MJ towed them around and around the rink. Snakelike, they zigzagged across the ice, forming figure eights and singing all the while. In the midst of such a festive scene, surely no one would notice the lone elf creeping under the Christmas tree to leave a present the city wouldn\u2019t soon forget. Dr. Rough smirked to himself, feeling sure his plan had succeeded.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ninety feet tall, in the center of Rockefeller,<\/em><\/span>
\n Rigged to explode in a blast quite stellar!<\/em><\/span>
\n “Despair to the world!” he was wickedly humming.<\/em><\/span>
\n “This catastrophe should keep Christmas from coming!\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThat was some diversion, Dr. Rough!\u201d Jeff commended him once the minions had broken the chain. \u201cDid you know that was going to happen when you sent MJ over to that Salvation Army guy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever underestimate Dr. Rough\u2019s foresight, Timmons,\u201d said Dr. Rough ambiguously, secretly delighting in his stroke of luck. Donnie was back, the deed was done, and soon, very soon, the city\u2019s Christmas spirit would be incinerated right along with their tree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the tree goes up in flames, I know just what they’ll do!<\/em><\/span>
\n Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two,<\/em><\/span>
\n Then all the New Yorkers in the City will cry, BOO-HOO!<\/em><\/span>
\n That’s a noise,” grinned Dr. Rough, “That I simply must hear!”<\/em><\/span>
\nSo he paused. And Dr. Rough put a hand to his ear.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cListen, my minions,\u201d he said. \u201cCan you hear it ticking?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHear what, the bomb?\u201d asked Joey. \u201cThere\u2019s no way we\u2019ll be able to hear it from here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot the bomb.\u201d Dr. Rough\u2019s eyes gleamed with wickedness. \u201cThat\u2019s the heart of Christmas, slowly dying. Its beats are numbered, my minions. When the tree explodes, it won\u2019t just take out the city\u2019s Christmas spirit. The whole country\u2019s morale will drop as they mourn for New York, the same way they did after September eleventh. Nothing will be the same. No one will feel like celebrating, and they certainly won\u2019t be shopping. Santa\u2019s stock of sweatshop goods will go to waste. We\u2019ve done it, minions. We have successfully hijacked Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Rough\u2019s own heart raced with anticipation as his minion\u2019s cheers filled the frosty air. And then, he heard another, more ominous noise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And he did hear a sound echoing through the skyscrapers.<\/em><\/span>
\n It started out soft and began to taper…<\/em><\/span>
\n But then it was back!\u00a0 This wail was not crying!<\/em><\/span>
\n He couldn’t be merry, for it was a police siren!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the cops! Run!\u201d hissed Dr. Rough, and the minions scattered. Dr. Rough himself took cover in an alley ruled by a territorial bum who kept insisting that he was \u201cDOOMED!\u201d Crouching on the cold ground behind a trash can, he watched as a squad car skidded to a stop in the middle of the street, blocking the intersection. With a sinking feeling, Dr. Rough realized there were two people in the back seat.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

He stared as the NYPD car raced by.<\/em><\/span>
\n The sight inside made Dr. Rough pop his eyes!<\/em><\/span>
\n Then he shook; what he saw was a shocking surprise!<\/em><\/span>
\n The minions from the toy store were handcuffed inside!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Though he didn\u2019t want to believe what he was seeing, his eyes didn\u2019t lie. He recognized the two men as his very own minions, the same ones he had sent to rob F.A.O. Schwarz. \u201cDamn you, Danny and Jon!\u201d he screamed, shaking his fist at the sky.<\/p>\n

Just then, a familiar voice came through the communicator in his ear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Dr. Rough, come in!” my voice crackled in his ear.<\/em><\/span>
\n “Jon and Danny been caught; we gotsta flee here!”<\/em><\/span>
\n Every minion in FANS, the tall and the small,<\/em><\/span>
\n Were running, without any stolen toys at all!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s your location, Drums?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYo, I\u2019m in the sleigh, headin\u2019 towards Rockefeller Center. If y\u2019all can get to the top of 30 Rock, I\u2019ll pick your asses up there. You best hurry, though, yo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr you will be\u2026 DOOOOOOOMED!\u201d echoed the bum.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up!\u201d snapped Dr. Rough. \u201cNo, not you, Drums.\u201d He sighed heavily. \u201cHalf my plan has been foiled. But it\u2019s not a total failure. There\u2019s still the tree\u2026\u201d He was talking more to himself now than either Drums or the bum. He rose from his hiding place and paced back and forth across the alley, wringing his hands.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t understand, Dr. Rough. They on to you, dawg! Somehow, they done figured out our plan! They know \u2019bout da tree!\u201d<\/p>\n

And sure enough, even as Drums spoke, the streets were suddenly swarming with police cars and fire trucks. Even the bomb squad was on the scene, surrounding the Rockefeller Christmas tree in their protective gear. Dr. Rough knew then that he had to bail. Drums was right. He had failed.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!\u00a0 IT CAME!<\/em><\/span>
\n Somehow or other, it came just the same!<\/em><\/span>
\n And Dr. Rough, with his dainty feet cold in the snow,<\/em><\/span>
\n Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d he asked, stunned. \u201cHow did they find out?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe question ain\u2019t how<\/em>,\u201d said Drums. \u201cYou should be axin\u2019 who<\/em>? I\u2019m a give ya three guesses, but ya only be needin\u2019 one.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then Dr. Rough knew. He didn\u2019t understand, but he knew it just the same.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“It be HimTak again, yo,” I said in his ear.<\/em><\/span>
\n “That Carter and his posse, they found out, and they here!<\/em><\/span>
\n They onto us – caught the New Kids in the sto-<\/em><\/span>
\n Set up booby traps and then called the po-po!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCURSE YOU, 00CARTER!!!\u201d roared Dr. Rough, his voice reverberating so loudly off the nearby buildings that the rest of his minions heard him even without their communicators.<\/p>\n

They rendezvoused on the roof of the GE Building at 30 Rockefeller, where Drums was waiting with the sleigh. Dr. Rough slumped into his seat, his Santa hat hanging limply over his rapidly twitching eye. \u201cWe\u2019ll get \u2019em next time, Dr. Rough,\u201d said Drums, placing a consoling silver hand upon his shoulder, but Dr. Rough merely shook it off.<\/p>\n

\u201cYesss\u2026\u201d Drums was right. He had been disappointed yet again, but the despair wouldn\u2019t last forever. His mind was already beginning to work on his next diabolical scheme. \u201cNext time\u2026 next time\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Dr. Rough,\u201d Abs agreed sportingly. Then, in a high, operatic falsetto that pierced Dr. Rough\u2019s eardrums and sent rage coursing through his veins, he began to sing. \u201cThere\u2019s always\u2026 tomorrow… for dreams to come true. Believe in your dreams, come what may. There\u2019s always\u2026 tomorrow; there\u2019s so much to do\u2026 and so little time in a day.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The other minions came in softly underneath him, harmonizing with a chorus of \u201coohs\u201d and \u201cahhs,\u201d as Abs lilted, \u201cWe all\u2026 pretend\u2026 the rainbow has an end\u2026 and you\u2019ll be there, my friend\u2026 somedaaaaay! There\u2019s always\u2026 tomorrow\u2026 for dreams to come true. Tomorrow is not far away\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPity it\u2019s not,\u201d said Dr. Rough, his voice a deathly hiss. It took every ounce of his self-control not to shoot Abs right then and there. \u201cBecause tomorrow, I will<\/em> be perfecting my death-ray spectacles, and my dreams will come true when I finally succeed in vaporizing you. Merry Christmas, Abs<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMerry Christmas,\u201d<\/em> added Joey gleefully, glad to be off the hook.<\/p>\n

\u201cMerry Christmas,\u201d<\/em> Drums echoed, and together, they sang, \u201cAnd happy ho-ol-i-days!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And what happened then? Well, in FANS, we say<\/em><\/span>
\n That Dr. Rough’s rage grew three sizes that day!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut not his height,\u201d coughs Nick, interrupting the poem.<\/p>\n

Drums slams down his book in anger. \u201cYo, Carter, dat\u2019s whack! You know dat ain\u2019t right! Don\u2019t you be dissing Master, or we gonna fight! Now where da hell was I in dis rap anyway!\u201d He looks down at the book in his lap. \u201cOh yeah\u2026 \u201cClearing his throat, he continues to read.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

As we fled to the rooftop and got on our sleigh,<\/em><\/span>
\n Dr. Rough looked out the window, and then he done say,<\/em><\/span>
\n “I’LL GET YOU, NICK CARTER!\u00a0 I’LL GET YOU SOMEDAY!”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Part 9<\/a><\/strong><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A 00Carter Christmas Act II: \u00a0How Dr. Rough Stole Christmas   In eleven days, FANS robbed near a dozen more houses Leaving crumbs much too small for a dozen more mouses And on the twelfth day, the twenty-fourth of December, Passing skaters in the Plaza, enjoying the weather, Dr. Rough\u2026<\/p>\n

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