<\/p>\n
ER nurse Chris Kirkpatrick entered the staff lounge, the effects of his hangover, a result of AJ McLean\u2019s party the night before, still lingering. His headache pounded with such intensity he had even considered calling in sick, but decided it wouldn\u2019t be very professional of him and came in after swallowing down a few Tylenol.<\/p>\n
As he opened his locker to take out his scrubs, he jumped back as a sheet of paper fell out of the locker and fluttered to the floor. Not thinking twice about the paper, Chris removed the scrubs from the hanger and closed his locker. It was then and only then his curiosity about the paper overtook him, and he reached down to retrieve it. He read the letter once, then twice, and finally three times before a scream got caught in his throat.<\/p>\n
As he ran to the corner of the room where a phone was located, the letter fell to the floor, almost as forgotten as the person who wrote it.<\/p>\n
The direct phone line into the rescue station began ringing at 12:02 p.m., as paramedic AJ McLean strutted on by singing along to the radio at the top of his voice.<\/p>\n
He sprinted towards the radio and quickly turned it off before he answered the phone. \u201cAtlantic City Rescue Squad, what is your emergency?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAJ?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Chris man, is that you?\u201d AJ asked, relieved that it didn\u2019t seem like an emergency, just an old friend calling.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. AJ, man, we have a problem! You have to get to Lance\u2019s apartment at 1066 Locust Avenue, Apartment 2A! It\u2019s a major emergency!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBack up, Chris, you need to tell me what is going on. You need to calm down!\u201d AJ could hear Chris take a few shaky breaths before he answered. \u201cI came to work today, and there was a letter in my locker.\u201d<\/p>\n
How in the hell is that an emergency? Did he get a fucking paper cut or something?<\/em> AJ thought while waiting patiently for Chris to continue.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a suicide letter from Lance. Oh God!\u201d The only sound now heard over the line was Chris\u2019s heartbreaking sobbing.<\/p>\n \u201cAmelia! Allison! Get over here we have an emergency!\u201d AJ called over his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cChris, man, just calm down. We are on our way to Lance\u2019s now,\u201d AJ assured his friend. \u201cI will need to let you go now, Chris. Just hang in there, okay? We will be there soon.\u201d On the other side of town, Chris sank to the floor in shock. He felt disgusted in himself for not paying enough attention to his friend. Now look what happened. If I would have actually been there for him this would have never happened. What a great friend I am!<\/em> Chris thought as he fought an internal battle to accept himself for what he had done. It was only a battle, but the war was yet to come.<\/p>\n AJ swallowed hard as he pulled up in front of 1066 Locust Drive. It was a cute little apartment building with cheery yellow siding, two stories tall, with two apartments on each floor. The tiny parking area was deserted, except for a blue Honda that had to belong to Lance.<\/p>\n AJ shut off the engine and climbed out of the ambulance. Allison and Amelia got out as well, and the three hurried up the walkway to the front door. They went inside and found themselves in a small entryway, a door on each side of them, marked 1A and 1B, and a staircase in front of them.<\/p>\n \u201cWhich apartment is it again?\u201d asked Amelia.<\/p>\n \u201c2A,\u201d replied AJ, and they climbed the stairs to the second story, where another two doors greeted them, 2A and 2B. AJ knocked quickly on the door to 2A. There was no answer, so he tried the knob, which turned easily. He pushed open the unlocked door and entered the apartment. The two women followed him.<\/p>\n The inside of Lance\u2019s apartment was a stark contrast to the cheery yellow outside of the apartment building. It was dim; all the blinds and curtains were closed, and the lights were off.<\/p>\n AJ\u2019s fingers explored the wall to his left, searching for a light switch. A bad feeling made its way into his stomach as his fingers ran over the smooth plastic of the switch plate. Slowly, afraid of what he was going to see when the lights came on, he pushed the switch up. Light flooded the dim apartment. The three EMTs peered hesitantly into the room.<\/p>\n Nothing.<\/p>\n Letting out his breath in a shuddering gasp, AJ led his posse through the small kitchenette and living room. To their right was a short hallway with a door on each side. One door stood partway open; it was a bathroom. The other was closed.<\/p>\n \u201cHe must be in the bedroom,\u201d AJ said, surprised at how strange his own voice sounded. He didn\u2019t want to admit it, but he was scared. He was not particularly close to Lance, but it was still very frightening to be at the apartment of someone he worked with, knowing that when he opened that door, he was going to be greeted with a horrible sight. Knowing that when he opened that door, Lance was going to be lying there. Or hanging there.<\/p>\n With a trembling hand, AJ gripped the knob and gave it a turn. The door opened slowly. The bedroom was even darker than the rest of the apartment, but AJ could just make out a still form lying on the bed. He quickly reached his hand out to the wall and found the light switch. Flipping it on, he saw very clearly the sight he had been dreading.<\/p>\n Lance was on the bed, his feet dangling over the side, his upper body slumped unnaturally to the right side, his back to them. A gleam of metal beside him caught AJ\u2019s attention. On a closer look, AJ realized that it was a gun. Lance had shot himself.<\/p>\n Amelia let out a strangled cry at the scene that greeted her. Allison gasped in horror. For a moment, the three of them just stood there, frozen in place. Finally, it was Allison who pushed past AJ and entered the room. She carefully rolled Lance\u2019s body over onto his back, revealing his face for the first time. It was streaked with wet, sticky blood, which flowed from a small, round wound on the left side of his forehead. A bullet hole.<\/p>\n A choked sob escaped Amelia\u2019s lips, and she clapped her hands over her mouth. At twenty-two, Amelia was the youngest and most inexperienced of the three paramedics on the scene. She had not seen many cases like this, and the realization that this was someone she knew was nightmarish.<\/p>\n Allison, who was older and more accustomed to tragedies like this, took charge. \u201cAJ, get over here,\u201d she barked. \u201cLet\u2019s get him on oxygen right away. Amelia, start an IV.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d AJ asked in disbelief. \u201cYou mean he\u2019s not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe has a pulse,\u201d Allison replied. \u201cVery weak, but it\u2019s there. Now let\u2019s get going, guys, we might have a chance to save him. Come on.\u201d<\/p>\n A glimmer of hope shining within them, AJ and Louise sprang into action and hurried over to Lance. Indeed, he had a weak pulse, and he was breathing, very slowly and shallowly. By some miracle, the gunshot had not been fatal. Not yet, anyway.<\/p>\n Chris\u2019s breath caught in his throat at the all-too-familiar sound of an ambulance siren nearing the hospital. Please, God, don\u2019t let it be Lance<\/em>, he prayed. He had been repeating this prayer every time one of the ambulances pulled up to the ER entrance, and so far, his prayers had been answered every time. But he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that his luck wasn\u2019t going to last forever.<\/p>\n Standing in the middle of the hallway, Chris watched as the ambulance pulled into the bay outside the entrance. Allison Brooks hopped out of the driver\u2019s seat, while AJ McLean and Amelia Caston emerged from the back. Together, the three EMTs unloaded a stretcher and quickly wheeled it towards the entrance.<\/p>\n The double doors burst open, and in they came. Jack Palmer came hurrying up from behind Chris, ready to take charge of the trauma. \u201cWhat-\u201c he started, but suddenly stopped, his mouth still hanging open, his eyes growing wide.<\/p>\n Chris squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of what he was going to see when he looked down on that stretcher. And when he opened them again, the one thing he was dreading to see was there \u2013 a pale, blonde man lying motionless on the stretcher, a bloody bullet wound on one side of his forehead. He was almost unrecognizable because of all the blood that coated his face, but Chris knew who it was.<\/p>\n \u201cLance! What happened?\u201d Jack cried, his voice a hoarse gasp.<\/p>\n \u201cSuicide attempt,\u201d Allison said grimly. \u201cWhat room?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh\u2026\u201d Jack didn\u2019t even look at Allison; his gaze was still fixed on Lance, his expression shocked.<\/p>\n \u201cTrauma 2,\u201d Chris said, swallowing hard. \u201cCome on.\u201d<\/p>\n He took a hold of part of the stretcher and helped the paramedics wheel Lance into the trauma room. Jack, snapping out of his shock, hurried along behind them.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are his vitals?\u201d he asked, trying to get back into professional mode.<\/p>\n As Allison gave him Lance\u2019s vitals, nurse Addie Burke came into the room. She had no more stepped inside the door when Chris ordered, \u201cAddie, go get Elizabeth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d Addie replied quickly, turning and hurrying off to find Dr. Elizabeth O\u2019Brien.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s no exit wound for the bullet,\u201d Jack commented, after lifting Lance\u2019s head slightly. \u201cThat means the bullet must still be in his brain.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cD-do you think there\u2019s any chance that he\u2019ll make\u2026\u201d Chris trailed off, looking at Lance hopelessly. His friend had shot himself in the head; there was no way he would survive. Even if he hadn\u2019t completely blown his brains out, the bullet had surely done too much damage for him to survive.<\/p>\n Jack didn\u2019t reply, and Chris saw the grim expression on his face.<\/p>\n Addie returned a few minutes later with Elizabeth O\u2019Brien in tow. The two women burst into the trauma room, completely oblivious to the fact that one of their own was the patient they were about to help treat. Addie got sight of Lance first, and the blood immediately drained from her face.<\/p>\n \u201cOh my God\u2026\u201d Clapping her hand over her mouth in shock, Addie stumbled backwards, her blue eyes wide, her face white.<\/p>\n Elizabeth drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening in shock as well. But Elizabeth, always the serious, cool-headed, sensible one, kept her professionalism and immediately set to work.<\/p>\n \u201cWe need to get a CT scan,\u201d said Jack, after showing Elizabeth that there was no exit wound for the bullet.<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d Elizabeth said. \u201cAnd page surgery.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you think one of the surgeons could save him?\u201d Chris asked hopefully.<\/p>\n \u201cHonestly, I doubt it. But he\u2019s made it this far; maybe it\u2019s not as bad as it looks. We have some of the best neurosurgeons in the area, so if he lives long enough to make it into the OR, there\u2019s always a chance,\u201d Elizabeth said, trying to be honest without making Chris lose all hope. She knew Lance and Chris were good friends, and she knew how hard it had to be for him to be in that room right then.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to go sit in chairs and wait, Chris?\u201d she asked gently. \u201cIt\u2019s always very hard to work on a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n Chris shook his head quickly. \u201cNo, I want to do everything I can to help,\u201d he replied. \u201cBesides, he\u2019s not just my friend. He worked with all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n The others in the room, including the three paramedics, who stood near the door, watching in concern, bowed their heads sadly. In his four years as an ER nurse, Lance had always been conscientious, enthusiastic, and hard-working. He had always done his part to help save others. Now they had to come together to save him.<\/p>\n Neurosurgeon Risha Veers was having a very normal day so far. She had performed a successful tumor-removal on a forty-year-old man that morning and was feeling pretty good. That is, until nurse Hayley Aldworth came bursting into her office without even knocking. Risha looked up questioningly at the tall redhead.<\/p>\n \u201cThe ER just paged us,\u201d Hayley said breathlessly. \u201cOne of the nurses down there, Lance Bass, shot himself in the head!\u201d<\/p>\n Lance Bass. The name sounded frighteningly familiar, and, with a start, Risha remembered her encounter with him that morning on her way up to surgery.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so sorry, ma\u2019am,\u201d the blonde man said sheepishly.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cIt is all right,\u201d Risha said with a shy laugh. \u201cHere, let me help you,\u201d she offered. But before she could reach for the picture and notebook that were within her reach, the man yelled at her to stop. Risha looked up at him in confusion, but withdrew her hand, which was in mid-reach for the picture.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHey, don\u2019t you work here?\u201d she asked as she got a closer look at the young man who had moments before plowed her down in the hallway.<\/em><\/p>\n Lance stopped what he was doing and looked up, a guilty look coming over his face.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d he said with a short nod.<\/em><\/p>\n Risha smiled at him before extending her hand. \u201cRisha Veers; nice to meet you. I knew I had seen you around here before. Plus, it was kind of strange that you were carrying a box full of stuff. Are you planning on leaving?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d he said as he closed up his box and got up off the floor, extending Risha a hand to assist her in getting up.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cSo do you have a name?\u201d Risha asked with a slight grin, trying to get the young man to open up to her.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYeah, Lance Bass.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cOh, my God\u2026\u201d Risha murmured. Just hours earlier, she had talked to him, invited him out for coffee sometime. It was a big step for her to do something like that. She had always been shy, and after John\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n Risha quickly stopped herself from thinking about the past, reliving her bad memories. She had to focus on the here and now.<\/p>\n \u201cThey brought him into the ER,\u201d Hayley went on, talking quickly. \u201cHe\u2019s still alive! The bullet is still in his brain, and they need you to take it out and see if you can fix whatever damage is done.\u201d<\/p>\n Risha\u2019s mouth dropped open in surprise. It was very rare for a person who had shot himself in the head to survive. With the gun that close to their head when they fired, the speed of the bullet caused it to do severe damage to the skull and brain, more so than a bullet fired at a further distance would do. But she was willing to give it a shot, to try her best to save Lance\u2019s life. There was always a chance.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Risha replied. \u201cI\u2019ll do it. Book a room and have them send up his scans.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s all right,\u201d Risha replied, giving the nurse a slight smile. Hayley left, and Risha remained sitting at her desk, trying to slow her racing heart. If she was going to do this operation, she would need to be calm and relaxed, not upset like she was now. She closed her eyes and let her mind go blank, trying to block out the bad memories of her past and the tragic events of that morning.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, how\u2019s your day going, honey?\u201d Ivory Harnett asked her boyfriend, Brian Littrell, as they sat at a two-person table at Sully\u2019s, waiting for their late lunch to arrive. As physicians in the ER, the two doctors usually saw each other often throughout the day, but that day, things had been hectic, and they hadn\u2019t had much of a chance to talk.<\/p>\n \u201cGood,\u201d Brian replied. \u201cCrazy, but good.\u201d<\/p>\n Ivory nodded. \u201cCrazy is right. You know about Lance Bass, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Brian nodded, his blue eyes wide as saucers. \u201cI can\u2019t believe it,\u201d he said, his voice hushed. \u201cI guess I don\u2019t know the guy that well, but I never thought\u2026\u201d He trailed off as the little bell on the door of the caf\u00e9 jingled, causing them both to look up.<\/p>\n Dr. JC Chasez came strolling in, his arm around the waist of a tall brunette dressed in a pair of flowered scrubs. Brian recognized her as one of the nurses that worked in surgery, though he could not remember her name.<\/p>\n \u201cHi, Brian, Ivory,\u201d JC said with a casual smile, stopping by their table.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, what\u2019s up, JC?\u201d Brian replied.<\/p>\n \u201cNot much. You know Mandie Smith, right? She\u2019s a surgical nurse,\u201d JC said, referring to the young woman at his side.<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d Brian said with a nod. \u201cHi, Mandie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHi,\u201d Mandie replied sweetly, flashing them both a smile that brightened her hazel eyes, making them look almost green.<\/p>\n As the two of them walked on and took a seat at another table, Ivory leaned forward and whispered to Brian, \u201cJeez, how old is she?? She looks like she\u2019s still in high school, for God\u2019s sakes! Chasez certainly goes for the younger women.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian chuckled, rolling his eyes. \u201cOh, come on, she can\u2019t be that young. She\u2019s a nurse, isn\u2019t she?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cToo young for him,\u201d Ivory replied. \u201cHe\u2019s pushing thirty, and she can\u2019t be much older than twenty-three or so.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAh, you\u2019re just jealous,\u201d Brian teased. \u201cCause she\u2019s young and has the figure of a model, and you\u2019re a little ol\u2019 shortie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh!\u201d Ivory cried defiantly. \u201cFor one thing, I am not old! I\u2019m only twenty-seven! You\u2019re pushing thirty yourself! And five-three isn\u2019t that short, Mr. I\u2019m Only Five Foot Seven!\u201d<\/p>\n Brian laughed. \u201cChill, baby, I\u2019m just playin\u2019 with ya,\u201d he chuckled. Flashing her a grin, he added, \u201cYou know I just like to see you get all worked up. And it worked \u2013 see, your eyes are already turning red!\u201d<\/p>\n Ivory feigned a glare and refused to look at him, but he could see the corners of her lips twitching as she tried not to smile.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, come on now, don\u2019t pout,\u201d Brian teased. \u201cYou know I love you the exact way you are. I wouldn\u2019t change anything about you.\u201d He saw Ivory smile, then impishly added, \u201cShort stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cArgh, you!\u201d Ivory raised her hand to give him a playful smack, but Brian\u2019s hand shot out first, grabbed hers, and pulled her in for a kiss.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat was that for?\u201d Ivory laughed, pulling away.<\/p>\n Brian shrugged. \u201cJust because I love you,\u201d he replied. Ivory smiled, and all was forgotten.<\/p>\n Josh and Kylie sat across from one another in a small restaurant enjoying a nice dinner together. They had both gotten the weekend off and decided to enjoy it together. Suddenly, Kylie jumped up and made a beeline for the ladies\u2019 room. Because this was the second time during their dinner, Josh was becoming used to Kylie suddenly jumping up and running to the bathroom. He was also becoming increasingly worried. Without a second of hesitation, Josh quickly placed his napkin on the table and calmly walked through the intimate restaurant towards the restroom, thankful no one was waiting in line this time.<\/p>\n \u201cKy?\u201d he asked as he quietly knocked on the door. No response came from inside, but a click was heard as the door was unlocked. Josh opened the door just wide enough for him to fit inside and entered the small bathroom.<\/p>\n \u201cYou going to be okay, Ky?\u201d Josh asked while rubbing Kylie\u2019s back as she again heaved.<\/p>\n The pale, sweaty figure before him nodded and leaned back, resting her head on Josh\u2019s shoulder. \u201cI can\u2019t take this anymore,\u201d Josh heard Kylie whine.<\/p>\n Josh raised his eyebrow in question. How long had this been going on? \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong? How long have you been feeling sick?\u201d he asked, his doctor instincts stepping into gear. He looked into Kylie\u2019s green eyes and saw anxiousness and fear.<\/p>\n \u201cA little over a week,\u201d Kylie mumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cOver a week? Have you even seen a doctor this whole time?\u201d Josh demanded.<\/p>\n \u201cActually, Josh, I did see a doctor, and she said it was normal,\u201d Kylie explained, while getting out of Josh\u2019s embrace and getting up off the floor.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, and what doctor was this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMelanie Reyes,\u201d Kylie replied with a smug grin gracing her tired face.<\/p>\n \u201cMelanie Reyes? But she is a gynecologist; why would you go see her?\u201d Josh asked as he tried his hardest to come up with an answer in his exhausted mind.<\/p>\n \u201cOh my God!\u201d he exclaimed suddenly. \u201cAre you pregnant, Kylie?\u201d<\/p>\n Kylie rolled her eyes at her husband\u2019s slow thought process and nodded her head, wondering how he would react now that she had broken the news to him.<\/p>\n A grin lit up Josh\u2019s face, and he grabbed Kylie into a hug. It was then that Kylie knew everything would be all right.<\/p>\n Risha went over Lance\u2019s head CT\u2019s and brain scans once more before going to scrub in. From what she could see, he might be lucky. The bullet had done damage that was certainly irreparable, but it had missed his brain stem, which would have killed him instantly, and gone instead into his cerebrum, the largest part of the brain. She determined he must have pointed the gun at his forehead instead of the side of his head, for the bullet had gone in towards the left side of his forehead and had traveled straight back through his brain, finally stopping near the back of his cerebrum, in the parietal lobe. Because it had not hit his brain stem, the part that controlled his heartbeat and breathing, his chances of surviving were much better, but even if he lived through surgery, there was a good chance he would never be the same. He could become severely impaired, both mentally and physically, or he could fall into a coma and never wake up, becoming a vegetable for the rest of his life.<\/p>\n All the grim possibilities of what could happen to Lance were devastating. Here was a young man, only in his twenties, with his whole life still ahead of him. What<\/em>, Risha wondered, would ever drive him to do something like this to himself?<\/em> She had experienced feelings of depression before; she knew what it was like to feel helpless and alone. But even in her time of grief, she had never gotten to the point of suicide. Things hadn\u2019t always gone wonderfully for her, but even so, she loved life, and the thought of taking it away from herself like that was unimaginable. She didn\u2019t see how anyone could really want to do that to themselves.<\/p>\n Surely Lance hadn\u2019t really wanted to kill himself. Surely he would take another chance at life if he could get one.<\/p>\n Risha was determined to give him that chance.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Brian, we\u2019ve got a four-year-old male coming in with a high fever and vomiting,\u201d said nurse Melissa Ruffino, as Brian passed by the nurses station. He had just gotten back on duty after his lunch with Ivory.<\/p>\n \u201cETA?\u201d Brian asked.<\/p>\n \u201cShould be here in about five minutes,\u201d Melissa said.<\/p>\n \u201cOkee doke,\u201d Brian replied, heading off to find an exam room that was clear. He passed by Exam 4 and peeked inside. The lights were off, and the room was empty, or so he thought. He pushed open the door and went in to get things straightened up and ready for the little boy that was about to arrive.<\/p>\n Suddenly, he stopped, as he noticed a hunched figure sitting on a stool in the corner of the room, facing the wall, his back to Brian. Recognizing the man\u2019s short, dark hair and light teal scrubs, Brian said gently, \u201cChris?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo away,\u201d muttered the nurse.<\/p>\n Brian did not obey; instead he stood there a moment, watching Chris in sympathy. He had been there earlier when Lance Bass had been brought in. Brian was not especially close with either Chris or Lance, but he knew them through mutual friends and from work. Chris had a great sense of humor, and Lance had always seemed very nice. The two of them had always been good friends with each other, and Brian knew that Lance\u2019s suicide attempt had been a horrible thing for Chris to go through. Why he was still there in the ER when Lance had already been taken up to surgery was a mystery to Brian, but he didn\u2019t ask. Instead, he just said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d came Chris\u2019s hollow reply.<\/p>\n \u201cI know how tough this has got to be on you,\u201d Brian continued softly. He knew he probably wasn\u2019t helping Chris any, but he thought he should at least try to talk to him, to show him he cared. \u201cAre you all right? Is there anything I can get for you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian bit his lip, his heart aching for Chris. He had never seen Chris look so miserable before; all the other times he had been around Chris, he was always cracking stupid jokes and making fun of people. But now Brian saw his other side, his emotional side, the part of him that was hurting something awful for his friend right now.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Brian said finally, deciding Chris would probably rather be alone. \u201cWell, I\u2019m sorry for barging in. I didn\u2019t know anyone was in here. I\u2019m going to go now, but if you need anything, don\u2019t hesitate to ask, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks, Brian,\u201d Chris replied, putting two words together for the first time since his \u201cgo away\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019ll be in my prayers,\u201d Brian said softly, then turned, and walked out of the room.<\/p>\n He\u2019ll be in my prayers.<\/em> Brian Littrell\u2019s words of encouragement kept running through Chris\u2019 mind. He knew he had sounded ungrateful and insensitive when Brian had offered his help, but at that time his grief over took his manners.<\/p>\n Chris had been dreading having to do this since Lance had been brought in, but he knew someone had to do it. He knew the hospital would contact Lance\u2019s immediate family, but he knew that it would be best if someone close to Lance gave the horrible news.<\/p>\n Chris forced himself to get up from the stool in the small trauma room and walked with heavy footsteps to the small sink against the opposite wall. The man staring back at him in the mirror shocked Chris. His normally bright hazel eyes were now red and puffy from crying. His face held an expression of intense sorrow, which made him look older than his thirty-four years. He turned the faucet on. As he bent down to attempt to wash the tear tracts off of his face, the dam broke again, and his tears came together as one with the water.<\/p>\n Kevin Richardson sat in the lounge on the surgical floor, studying his schedule. He had just finished doing an appendectomy and was relieved to see he didn\u2019t have any other patients scheduled until later that afternoon. Of course, an emergency could always pop up, but for now, he was free.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, Kev,\u201d said Hayley Aldworth, entering the lounge and grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. \u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust great,\u201d Kevin replied, giving her a smile. \u201cI don\u2019t have any patients for a few hours, it looks like. Are there any interesting procedures going on right now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDr. Veers is about to start an evacuation surgery on Lance Bass,\u201d Hayley replied.<\/p>\n Kevin cocked his head. \u201cLance Bass? Why, what happened?<\/p>\n \u201cOh, you haven\u2019t heard! He shot himself this morning!\u201d Hayley exclaimed.<\/p>\n Kevin gasped. \u201cOh my God,\u201d he said slowly, shaking his head in disbelief. Like many other members of the staff, Kevin was not really a friend of Lance\u2019s, but he knew him fairly well from working with him in the ER, whenever he came down to do a consult, and through mutual friends.<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d Hayley said. \u201cIt\u2019s so sad. He\u2019s so nice! I can\u2019t believe he would do something like that to himself!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat time does the surgery start?\u201d Kevin asked, glancing at his watch.<\/p>\n \u201cSoon. I think Dr. Veers is scrubbing in now. Speaking of which, I need to go get ready. I\u2019m part of her surgical team. You wanna observe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure,\u201d Kevin replied.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, go get scrubbed in then. I\u2019m sure Dr. Veers won\u2019t mind,\u201d Hayley replied. \u201cSee ya in a few.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSee ya,\u201d Kevin echoed and left the lounge to go get gowned up and scrubbed in for the surgery.<\/p>\n \u201cMr. and Mrs. Bass, this is Chris Kirkpatrick from Atlantic City Memorial. If you will please give me a call at 555-3254 extension 125, it would be appreciated. Thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n Chris hung up the phone and stretched his arms in front of him, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He had tried to sound as cheerful as possible when he left the message on the Bass family answering machine, and he hoped they wouldn\u2019t pick up on the pain that filled his voice. He had figured it would be best to give them the direct number to the lounge so it would give him a sense of privacy when he shared the horrible news with the soon to be grieving family.<\/p>\n As he waited for the call to come in, Chris walked around the lounge, wondering what Lance was thinking in those final moments before the gun went off. Chris suddenly stopped pacing and stopped directly in front of Lance\u2019s locker. Lance had once given Chris the combination to his locker \u201cjust in case he needed it\u201d, but Chris had never tried to open the locker without Lance around, feeling like it was an invasion of Lance\u2019s precious privacy.<\/p>\n But now it was different. His hands were shaking so bad he could barely turn the knob on the combination lock, but finally he succeeded and carefully flung the locker door open. Thinking back on it moments later, Chris realized it was the cleanest Lance\u2019s locker had been in awhile. Lance wasn\u2019t a very messy person, but usually his locker was decorated with pictures of his family and drawings from the young patients he helped treat; but now the locker was bare except for a pair of teal scrubs and a few medical books. Before Chris had a chance to react, the phone in the locker room rang. and Chris\u2019 heart rate intensified. How would he ever be able to do this?<\/p>\n \u201cAtlantic City Memorial, this is Chris speaking,\u201d he answered the phone professionally, hoping for some miracle that the person on the other line wasn\u2019t a member of Lance\u2019s family.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Chris,\u201d the heavy southern accented voice of Diane Bass greeted. \u201cIt was quite a shock to receive a call from you. How is everything?\u201d<\/p>\n Now was the moment of truth. \u201cDiane, we need to talk. You might want to get Jim on the other line.\u201d<\/p>\n When Chris hung up the phone a few minutes later, it felt like an immense weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He didn\u2019t give much detail about what had happened to Lance, but he knew his parents had probably figured it out. Not more than ten or fifteen words were said by the couple the whole conversation. Chris could just feel the shock and grief radiating through the phone lines. This had definitely been the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, and he knew he had to go somewhere to get guidance. He sure as hell needed it.<\/p>\n \u201cBlair Cartier, four years old, suffering from nausea and vomiting, temp 99.6, pulse 110,\u201d said new paramedic Amelia Caston, as she helped push the stretcher down the hall.<\/p>\n \u201cExam 2,\u201d Brian said, directing the paramedics into the exam room. As they pulled the stretcher up alongside the gurney in the room, Brian glanced down at the patient, a tiny four-year-old boy with curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and plump, dimpled cheeks, rosy and flushed with fever. He reminded Brian of one of those little angels you see on Christmas cards.<\/p>\n \u201cYou need help, Dr. Littrell?\u201d asked Melissa, coming into the room.<\/p>\n \u201dYeah, thanks, Mel,\u201d Brian replied, as the nurse came in to help him move Blair from the stretcher onto the gurney. \u201cSo, Blair, buddy, how are you feeling?\u201d Brian asked gently to little Blair, whose blue eyes were wide with fright.<\/p>\n \u201cMy tummy hurts,\u201d Blair moaned softly, his bottom lip quivering.<\/p>\n \u201cAww, that\u2019s no fun, is it?\u201d Brian asked sympathetically. \u201cWell, my name is Dr. Littrell, and I\u2019m going to get you feeling better pretty soon, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMelissa, can you start him on a saline drip? He\u2019s dehydrated,\u201d Brian said. While Melissa prepared to insert the needle in the back of Blair\u2019s hand, Brian said, \u201cSo, Blair, you like cartoons?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUh-huh,\u201d Blair replied, nodding slightly.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you like Donald Duck?\u201d Brian asked, as he listened to Blair\u2019s heart with his stethoscope.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d said Blair.<\/p>\n \u201cOh boy!\u201d exclaimed Brian in his Donald Duck voice, which was one of his best impressions. Blair grinned widely and did not even notice when Melissa slid the needle into his hand.<\/p>\n A few minutes later, a woman in her late thirties or early forties came running in, out of breath and panicked-looking.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you Blair\u2019s mother?\u201d Brian asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, stepmother. Carrie Cartier,\u201d the woman said quickly. \u201cBlair\u2019s been running a low-grade temp all day, and then he started throwing up about an hour ago and couldn\u2019t stop. I was worried, so I brought him in.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian nodded. \u201cYou did the right thing, Mrs. Cartier,\u201d he assured her. \u201cIt\u2019s probably just the stomach flu; there\u2019s a pretty bad form of it going around here. But we\u2019re checking Blair out just to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCarrie?\u201d<\/p>\n Brian looked up to see a boy who looked to be about ten or eleven standing in the doorway. A sullen-faced girl about the same age stood next to him, and two more little girls, one about Blair\u2019s age, the other a bit older, peeked curiously into the room.<\/p>\n \u201cDavid, you and Meg take Sarah and Jackie over to those chairs across the hall and sit down. I\u2019ll be out in a little bit, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOkay.\u201d The boy grabbed his little sisters\u2019 hands, and he and the older girl disappeared into the hallway.<\/p>\n \u201cMy other kids,\u201d Carrie explained to Brian. \u201cTheir father isn\u2019t home to watch them, so I had to bring them with. I hope they won\u2019t be any trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh no, family is always welcome,\u201d Brian replied. \u201cThey look like well-behaved kids.\u201d<\/p>\n Carrie gave an exasperated smile and was about to reply, when all of a sudden, a loud crash was heard, as the metal tray of supplies beside the gurney was knocked to the floor. Carrie screamed, and Brian turned around to find that Blair\u2019s small body was convulsing in a violent seizure.<\/p>\n \u201cMelissa, start him on Dilantin right away,\u201d Brian said. Hurrying past Carrie, he stuck his head out into the hall, looking around for another doctor. He spotted Ivory coming down the hall at that very moment and smiled despite himself. \u201cHey, Dr. Harnett!\u201d he called, grinning when she looked at him in surprise, amused at being called \u201cDr. Harnett\u201d instead of just \u201cIvory\u201d like she was used to.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d she called back.<\/p>\n \u201cCan you help me in here a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I suppose,\u201d Ivory said, heaving an exaggerated sigh and winking at Brian as she came up to him.<\/p>\n \u201cIn here,\u201d Brian said, leading her into the room. \u201cFour-year-old suffering from mild temp, nausea, and vomiting. I thought it was probably just stomach flu, but now he\u2019s having a grand-mal seizure,\u201d Brian explained quickly to her.<\/p>\n \u201cIs that the mother?\u201d Ivory asked, nodding to Carrie, who was standing in the corner of the room, watching her stepson with a look of horror.<\/p>\n Brian nodded, and Ivory went over to Carrie. \u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m Dr. Harnett. How long has your son been sick?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust this morning \u2013 he woke up with a slight fever, but other than that, he seemed okay. He just got really sick about an hour ago and started vomiting, and now this! What\u2019s wrong with him?\u201d Carrie asked, her voice shrill with panic.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you know if he could have swallowed anything toxic?\u201d Ivory went on.<\/p>\n \u201cI-I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t think so. We keep all our medications up high in the medicine cabinet, and the cabinets where we have our cleaning supplies are child proof. Blair can\u2019t get into any of them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s get a tox screen anyway, just to be sure, and order a chem panel, CBC, and lytes,\u201d said Brian, nodding to Melissa to order the tests.<\/p>\n Within a few minutes, the drugs that had been inserted into Blair\u2019s IV worked their magic, and his weak body fell back limply against the gurney.<\/p>\n \u201cBlair? Blair?\u201d Carrie asked frantically, from her stepson\u2019s side. Looking up at Brian, she asked worriedly, \u201cWhy won\u2019t he wake up? He was conscious and talking earlier!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just an effect of the seizure, Mrs. Cartier,\u201d Brian said. \u201cI think maybe you should go wait in chairs with your other children while we work on Blair, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, I want to be here with him. He was so scared,\u201d Carrie said, her eyes welling up with tears.<\/p>\n Brian patted her shoulder gently. \u201cIt\u2019s really better if you\u2019re not in here. Someone will come get you the minute Blair regains consciousness, and you can come back in then. But for now, we need some space to work. All right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAll right,\u201d Carrie relented. Brian showed her out to the waiting area, where her four other children were anxiously waiting.<\/p>\n It pained Risha to see all the damage Lance had done to himself when he put that bullet through his brain. His skull had been shattered in the spot where the bullet had gone, and his brain had swollen to the point where part of it actually had started to show through the hole in his forehead. The bullet had traveled back through his brain and had been embedded in the back. It would take extensive surgery to remove the bullet and repair the damage it had done. Of course, some things would never be fixed. Even if Lance survived the risky surgery, it was almost certain that he was never going to be the same. He had a long road of recovery ahead of him, and that was the best case scenario. Worst case \u2013 he either died or lived the rest of his life as an invalid, a vegetable. And what kind of life was that?<\/p>\n Standing there in the OR, her scalpel in hand, Risha was determined not to let that happen. She had to do her best; she had to help Lance through his, help give him his life back, give him another chance.<\/p>\n Please, God, help me through this. Help me save him<\/em>, Risha pleaded silently. She had practically given up on God years ago, her faith shattered by a tragedy that had nearly ruined her life. She never attended church anymore, never read the Bible, never even prayed. But she prayed now, knowing that it could take one of God\u2019s miracles to give Lance back the life he had tried to extinguish.<\/p>\n Brian looked up in shock as the monitors attached to Blair suddenly went berserk.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s in V-fib!\u201d cried Melissa, looking at the heart monitor.<\/p>\n \u201cGrab the crash cart,\u201d Brian said quickly. \u201cWhat could be making this kid so sick?\u201d he wondered aloud.<\/p>\n Just then, Ivory came running in. \u201cI\u2019ve got the results of his tox screen!\u201d she announced. \u201cHe\u2019s got toxins in his bloodstream. He\u2019s ingested something, but I don\u2019t know what.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhere\u2019s the mother? Somebody get the mother,\u201d Brian ordered.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got the crash cart,\u201d said Melissa, wheeling it up to Blair\u2019s bedside. \u201cWhat should I charge to?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCharge to 100. Ivory, go find his mother. She\u2019s waiting in chairs,\u201d Brian said. Melissa charged up the paddles, while Ivory hurried out to find Carrie.<\/p>\n \u201cClear!\u201d Brian shouted, pressing the paddles to Blair\u2019s chest. His small body jolted, and to Brian\u2019s relief, the heart monitor peaked, registering a heartbeat.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong? What happened to him?\u201d cried Carrie, rushing into the room. A man, most likely her husband, followed her, gazing at Blair with wide, terrified eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cMrs. Cartier, Blair\u2019s tox screen shows that he has toxins in his bloodstream. He must have swallowed something. Do you have any idea what it could be?\u201d<\/p>\n Carrie and the man next to her exchanged bewildered glances. \u201cI\u2026 oh, I don\u2019t know!\u201d Carrie cried helplessly, wringing her hands. \u201cBrad, all the cleaners and medicines are locked up where Blair can\u2019t get to, right? There\u2019s no way he could have gotten into anything.\u201d<\/p>\n Brad, Blair\u2019s father, sighed. \u201cWell, he obviously got into something<\/em>, Carrie,\u201d he said. \u201cWhere were you anyway? Weren\u2019t you watching him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, don\u2019t blame me for this, Brad!\u201d Carrie cried defensively, throwing up her hands. \u201cYou know I can\u2019t watch all five kids every second!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou should at least have your eye on Blair and Jackie. They\u2019re only four! You can\u2019t leave four-year-old twins alone!\u201d Brad argued.<\/p>\n \u201cBrad, I didn\u2019t! I mean, I\u2026\u201d Carrie broke down into sobs.<\/p>\n Brad\u2019s angry face softened. \u201cCar, I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said quickly, putting his arms around her. \u201cI know it\u2019s not your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Mr. and Mrs. Cartier,\u201d said Ivory. \u201cCome back out to the waiting room with me, and we\u2019ll try to find out what happened. Maybe your other children will know.\u201d<\/p>\n She led the couple back out into the waiting room, where the four other children sat. Mr. Cartier quickly introduced Ivory to them. Meg, Carrie\u2019s daughter from her previous marriage, was twelve. Brad had four children from his previous marriage \u2013 David, who was eleven, Sarah, who was six, and Jackie, who was Blair\u2019s four-year-old twin sister.<\/p>\n \u201cIs Blair going to be okay, Dad?\u201d David asked, his blue eyes very serious.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re not sure yet, Dave,\u201d Brad told his son. \u201cThe doctors think that Blair swallowed something poisonous. Do any of you kids know what he could have swallowed?\u201d<\/p>\n David and Sarah looked at each other and shrugged. Jackie, who was too little to understand, just swung her feet and didn\u2019t say anything. Meg sat with her arms crossed over her chest, a solemn pout on her lips, and refused to speak.<\/p>\n \u201cMeg?\u201d Brad asked. \u201cDo you know anything about this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would I?\u201d Meg muttered, without even looking at her stepfather.<\/p>\n \u201cDid anyone leave any medicine out on the counter where Blair could have gotten it?\u201d Ivory asked, desperately trying to get some answers. They couldn\u2019t help Blair until they knew exactly what he had consumed. \u201cOr any kind of cleaner? Was anyone cleaning the house today?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust vacuuming and dusting,\u201d Carrie said. \u201cAnd laundry. You know, the usual housework.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLaundry? Could you have left the detergent out where Blair could get it?\u201d Ivory pressed.<\/p>\n \u201cMeg, you put the detergent back up on the shelf when you were done putting the clothes in the washer, right?\u201d Carrie asked her daughter.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, mom,\u201d Meg replied automatically, rolling her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat about medicines? Were there any pills out for him to get?\u201d Ivory asked again.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I don\u2019t-\u201c<\/p>\n All of a sudden, Meg jerked up from her slouched position. \u201cWait!\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n Everyone turned to look at her.<\/p>\n \u201cDid you leave pills out?\u201d Brad demanded, his eyes narrowing.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2026 I\u2026\u201d Meg\u2019s eyes were wide and scared, and she looked guiltily at her mother and stepfather.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? What did you do?\u201d Brad asked, grabbing her roughly by the arm.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026 I think I left the detergent out,\u201d she choked out meekly. \u201cI-I was putting the clothes in the washer, and I poured the detergent into the cap, but then Lizzie McGuire<\/em> came on TV, and I went to watch it, and\u2026 I guess I forgot about the laundry\u2026\u201d She trailed off, looking terrified.<\/p>\n \u201cYou what?!\u201d Brad exploded, grabbing onto her other arm and giving her a shake. \u201cYou left a damn cap of detergent sitting on the washer, right where Blair could get to it?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, Meg, how could you be so irresponsible?!\u201d Carrie cried, her eyes bright with tears.<\/p>\n \u201cShe probably did it on purpose, knowing her!\u201d Brad yelled.<\/p>\n \u201cBrad! How could you say that?\u201d Carrie gasped. \u201cMeg would never intentionally hurt Blair!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMeg hates Blair! She hates all my kids and me too! You know she does; she\u2019s said it!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut up!\u201d screamed Meg. \u201cI would never try to poison him!\u201d She burst into tears, and Carrie quickly pulled her into a hug, rubbing her hair soothingly.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s okay, baby, he doesn\u2019t mean it,\u201d she whispered. To Brad, she said, \u201cGet away from us! How dare you accuse my daughter of such a horrible thing?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFine! I don\u2019t want my children near her anyway!\u201d Brad shouted angrily, scooping Jackie into his arms and grabbing Sarah\u2019s hand. \u201cCome on, guys. We\u2019ll go wait somewhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll show you where you can wait,\u201d Ivory said softly, leading Brad and his three kids away. She got them situated in a different waiting area and ran back to Blair\u2019s room to tell Brian what she had found out.<\/p>\n Back in the OR, Risha was just finishing up Lance\u2019s operation.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I think that\u2019s everything,\u201d Risha said wearily. \u201cI\u2019m going to close up now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou did a good job,\u201d said Kevin, who had observed Lance\u2019s long brain surgery. \u201cI think he\u2019s got a good chance of surviving this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI hope so,\u201d Risha said with a sigh.<\/p>\n Her hopes were suddenly crushed when the monitors attached to Lance suddenly began to beep wildly.<\/p>\n \u201cHis pressure\u2019s crashing!\u201d cried Hayley.<\/p>\n \u201cOh no, not now!\u201d Risha moaned.<\/p>\n \u201cHe must have a brain bleed,\u201d said Kevin. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to find the source and fix it before it\u2019s too late.\u201d<\/p>\n Risha nodded. She only hoped she could find the problem and correct it in time. After all this, she couldn\u2019t let Lance die of a brain hemorrhage. \u201cCome on, Lance, you\u2019d made it this far. Don\u2019t die on me now,\u201d she muttered under her breath.<\/p>\n The line on the heart monitor went flat.<\/p>\n Episode 9: In My Prayers ER nurse Chris Kirkpatrick entered the staff lounge, the effects of his hangover, a result of AJ McLean\u2019s party the night before, still lingering. His headache pounded with such intensity he had even considered calling in sick, but decided it wouldn\u2019t be very professional …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":66,"menu_order":9,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-208","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=208"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":214,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/208\/revisions\/214"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/66"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/codeblue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nAJ didn\u2019t wait for a response before he hung up the phone, quickly hopping into the driver\u2019s seat of the waiting ambulance.<\/p>\n+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
\nHayley nodded. \u201cThanks, Dr. Veers. Sorry for barging in on you like that.\u201d<\/p>\n+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
+++<\/h4>\n
Episode 10<\/a><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"