{"id":317,"date":"2013-07-22T14:22:16","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T14:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/?page_id=317"},"modified":"2013-07-22T14:22:16","modified_gmt":"2013-07-22T14:22:16","slug":"chapter-82","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/story\/chapter-82\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 82"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter 82<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.<\/i><\/p>\n

I forget where the fuck I heard that from, but it’s probably the truest statement ever made.<\/i><\/p>\n

Dying, that’s easy.\u00a0 I never thought I’d say that shit, but it’s true.\u00a0 Dying is letting go.\u00a0 Dying is giving up, instead of fighting whatever the fuck the world wants to toss your way.\u00a0 It took me a long time to learn that shit, but I did learn it.\u00a0 I mean, I could give up, let the world win.\u00a0 But where the hell\u2019s the fun in that?\u00a0 I have my dark days, the days where throwing in the towel looks tempting as shit.\u00a0 It’s why I fell off the wagon.<\/i><\/p>\n

It may be why Jo died.<\/i><\/p>\n

The thought kills me, but there are others suffering more than me.\u00a0 It’s about time I get my head back out of my ass and see that.<\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Friday, October 26, 2012<\/b><\/i>
\nWeek Twenty-Seven<\/i><\/p>\n

In his old life, AJ had spent Friday nights the same way he spent most other nights:\u00a0 drinking in the bar, or maybe just at home in the dark, until he got so shitfaced he couldn\u2019t think straight or simply blacked out.<\/p>\n

It had been a long time since he\u2019d partaken in that nightly ritual, but even so, it still felt strange to be sitting around a dining room table with four other people, completely sober, eating dinner like a normal person.\u00a0 Of course, it seemed strange because nothing else in the world was normal, but even before the zombie apocalypse, family dinners were not something to which AJ was accustomed.\u00a0 He\u2019d been raised in a small, unconventional family, by his single mother and grandparents, and although they were tight, they hadn\u2019t exactly been traditional.\u00a0 But he could tell that the others \u2013 Howie, Brian, Gretchen, and Gabby \u2013 had all grown up in the sort of homes where sit-down family dinners like this happened every night, and as the world died around them, they were fighting to keep that tradition alive.<\/p>\n

Gretchen, in particular, had insisted on eating dinner together every night since she and Brian had gotten back, mostly for poor Gabby\u2019s sake.\u00a0 The sullen teenager hardly ate and barely said a word, but Gretchen made her come to the table each night, anyway.\u00a0 AJ would have just left her to mope; she certainly had a reason to.\u00a0 But who was he to say anything?\u00a0 He probably would have made a crappy dad.<\/p>\n

Gretchen, Brian, and Howie did most of the talking at these family dinners.\u00a0 AJ found he didn\u2019t have much to say.\u00a0 He pulled his wheelchair up to the table, bad leg stretched out underneath it, and listened to the conversation, occasionally putting in a comment or two, but mostly just observing everyone else.\u00a0 He caught things this way, things the others didn\u2019t even notice.\u00a0 Like how hard Gretchen was trying to hold it together, to fill the gaping hole Jo had left behind as the matriarch, the happy homemaker.\u00a0 And how much Gabby resented her for it.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t miss the spiteful looks the teen shot her when she wasn\u2019t looking, the rolled eyes, the jutted chin.\u00a0 Neither did he miss the way Brian looked at Gretchen lately \u2013 a much different kind of look, a tender sort of gaze that lit up his whole face whenever he watched Gretchen at work.<\/p>\n

He was doing it right then, staring across the table at Gretchen with a little smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, as she babbled something about planting a garden.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know if there\u2019s enough time now,\u201d she was saying, \u201cbut it\u2019s something we should definitely plan for.\u00a0 We have to be able to grow our own food, for when the canned stuff runs out.\u00a0 Do any of you know much about gardening?\u201d<\/p>\n

AJ snorted out loud as he looked over at Howie, picturing him the way he\u2019d first met him, in an expensive suit and silk tie.\u00a0 Even now, he couldn\u2019t picture the former businessman in anything resembling gardening attire, though he snickered to himself at the thought of the little Latino wearing a big straw hat and overalls, spreading manure in the hot sun.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs something funny, AJ?\u201d<\/p>\n

At that, AJ just laughed harder.\u00a0 It was so obvious that Gretchen had been a teacher in her former life.\u00a0 All she had to do was use that voice and give him that look, with her eyebrows raised, and he could see her in the classroom, in a polka-dotted dress, scolding some poor kid whose dog ate his homework.\u00a0 If she was going to use the teacher voice on him, he was going to play the smartass student.\u00a0 \u201cNot at all,\u201d he replied smoothly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a good idea, Gretch.\u00a0 I dunno how much good I\u2019ll be gettin\u2019 down and dirty on this leg, but I do know how to work a hoe.\u201d\u00a0 He flashed her a devilish smirk, waiting for her to get the pun.<\/p>\n

She got it, alright, and gave him the other teacher look, the disapproving one with the knitted brow, her eyes darting in Gabby\u2019s direction.\u00a0 He glanced over at the kid; she was staring down at the table, oblivious.\u00a0 He doubted she\u2019d even been listening.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got a bit of a green thumb,\u201d Brian put in, quick to ease the tension.\u00a0 \u201cI can help you with the garden.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gretchen smiled at him in gratitude, her forehead smoothing out.\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u00a0 Great!\u00a0 I can grow a mean bean plant in a styrofoam cup, but I\u2019ve never tried a whole garden.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeighanne and I had a garden,\u201d Brian said, and AJ noticed that he smiled as he spoke of his wife, instead of looking sad.\u00a0 It was a sign of time gone by, wounds that had started to heal.\u00a0 He hoped Gabby would reach the same place of acceptance someday, just as he hoped to heal himself.\u00a0 \u201cWe grew tomatoes and beans and different greens \u2013 lettuce and spinach and that sort of stuff.\u00a0 Good salad fixin\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 Brian grinned wider, looking and sounding every bit the good ol\u2019 country boy he was, and the way Gretchen beamed back at him was almost sickening\u2026 though in a sickeningly sweet way.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going soft here,<\/i> thought AJ, wrinkling his nose at them.\u00a0 I need to get my ass outta this chair and shoot some zombies soon.<\/i><\/p>\n

It was getting harder and harder to be wheelchair-bound.\u00a0 At first, his leg had hurt so bad that he hadn\u2019t really minded sitting or lying around all day, but now that he was on the mend, it had become much more frustrating.\u00a0 The wound on his shin where the bones had broken through the skin had finally healed over, though he would always have an ugly scar there, and the threat of infection seemed to have passed.\u00a0 Now their worry was that the broken bones beneath the skin wouldn\u2019t fuse together the right way.\u00a0 His leg was kept stiffly splinted, unable to bend, let alone bear weight.\u00a0 Though he wasn\u2019t in agony anymore, it still throbbed constantly, and he worried he would never be able to walk right again.\u00a0 Still, he longed to be back on his feet.<\/p>\n

He felt so worthless in the wheelchair, unable to do much of anything except stand \u2013 or rather, sit \u2013 guard while the others worked on the wall.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t even very good at that.\u00a0 If he hadn\u2019t nodded off that day, he might have spotted the zombies sooner, and Jo would still be alive.\u00a0 He felt guilty about that, though not nearly as guilty as he knew Gabby felt.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I be excused?\u201d the teen mumbled, standing up abruptly in the midst of this conversation about gardening.<\/p>\n

Gretchen looked over at her plate.\u00a0 She had really just pushed the food around on it, but she\u2019d done a good job of making it look like she\u2019d eaten some.\u00a0 \u201cOkay,\u201d Gretchen said, nodding.\u00a0 AJ was proud of her for not saying, \u201cYou mean, may<\/i> I be excused?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby shoved in her chair and slouched off without another word.\u00a0 After a few seconds, they heard her bedroom door close.\u00a0 No click of the lock followed \u2013 Howie had taken it off, the day after Jo\u2019s death.\u00a0 That had been AJ\u2019s bright idea; he remembered his own dark depression, following his beloved grandmother\u2019s death, and knew how dramatic teenage girls could be.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t seem wise to let Gabby mourn alone behind a locked door.<\/p>\n

After she was gone, the others went on making plans for a garden \u2013 where they would put it, what they would plant, which kind of crops would grow best in which season, and so on.\u00a0 AJ quickly grew bored of the conversation and decided to spice it up a little.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, I bet we could grow some good weed in this garden.\u201d\u00a0 This comment earned him three dirty looks, which only inspired him to keep going.\u00a0 \u201cThe Florida climate\u2019s just about perfect for a cannabis crop,\u201d he added, smirking.\u00a0 \u201cNot that I\u2019m an expert \u2013 smoked it, never grown it \u2013 but maybe Nick can give us some advice when he gets back.\u00a0 He seems like the kind of kid that would know a thing or two about pot.\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as Nick\u2019s name was mentioned, the looks changed.\u00a0 AJ watched their faces fall and didn\u2019t miss the wary glances they gave each other.\u00a0 He knew what they were thinking:\u00a0 that he was delusional for believing Nick \u2013 and Kevin and Riley \u2013 would come back.\u00a0 He remembered thinking the same thing about Gretchen whenever she talked about finding her husband.\u00a0 It had been over a month since the other group had left.\u00a0 With each passing day, the odds of their survival grew slimmer, and the hope for their return dwindled further.<\/p>\n

Deep down, AJ knew something must have happened to them \u2013 the plane had crashed; the zombies had swarmed them \u2013 but on the surface, he maintained a certain level of denial, refusing to acknowledge this grim reality.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t been praying for their return, like he knew the others had, because he didn\u2019t believe in prayer, but he was somewhat surprised at how hard he\u2019d been hoping, at how much he\u2019d come to care.\u00a0 Kevin was a warrior, strong and resourceful.\u00a0 Nick was a goofball, but a good fighter and a hell of a lot of fun.\u00a0 Riley was a badass bitch, in the best sense of the word.\u00a0 It was hard to accept that any of them could have fallen to the undead, and it hurt worse than his leg to think he would never see them again.\u00a0 He tried not to think about it.<\/p>\n

But he\u2019d opened a can of worms that night, because Gretchen said, \u201cGod, I hope they do come back.\u00a0 Do you think there\u2019s still a chance?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s always a chance,\u201d Brian said firmly, even though his eyes told a different story.\u00a0 \u201cMiracles happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Howie didn\u2019t say anything.\u00a0 His silence told AJ that he, too, believed they were goners.<\/p>\n

AJ wished he hadn\u2019t brought it up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna go check on Gabs,\u201d he announced suddenly, pushing his wheelchair back from the table.\u00a0 It had been awhile since she\u2019d left, and he hadn\u2019t heard a sound from her room.\u00a0 That was better than the sobbing they\u2019d had to listen to for days after Jo died, but the sometimes the silence unnerved him, too.\u00a0 Maybe it was just due to the depressing turn the conversation had taken, but he felt a sick sort of churning sensation in the pit of his stomach that had nothing to do with what Gretchen had served them for dinner.\u00a0 He was anxious to get away from the others for a few minutes and make sure Gabby was okay.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u00a0 We\u2019ll start clearing the table,\u201d said Brian, volunteering himself and Howie for clean-up duty.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for making dinner, Gretch; it was great.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suck-up,<\/i> thought AJ, smirking, as he wheeled himself into the hallway.\u00a0 Dinner had sucked, as most of their meals did these days.\u00a0 They no longer had fresh food, and even the frozen stuff was now freezer-burnt and disgusting.\u00a0 Everything they ate came from a can or a box \u2013 dried, processed shit that could be mixed with water and heated up.\u00a0 He had to admit, Gretchen\u2019s idea for the garden was a good one, though he wasn\u2019t going to kiss her ass like Brian did.<\/p>\n

He rolled away from the sounds of plates being scraped and rinsed and stacked, stopping outside Gabby\u2019s closed door. \u00a0There was silence on the other side.\u00a0 He paused for a second to listen, then reached out and knocked.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo away,\u201d was Gabby\u2019s muffled response.<\/p>\n

\u201cMake me,\u201d AJ retorted, turning the knob and pushing the door open anyway.\u00a0 He\u2019d only meant to tease her, but the sight that awaited him was anything but funny.<\/p>\n

Gabby sat on the edge of her bed, her back to the door.\u00a0 Her right hand was raised to the side of her head.\u00a0 In it, she held a gun.<\/p>\n

He froze, and so did she.\u00a0 He saw her shoulders stiffen and her spine go rigid, but she didn\u2019t move, didn\u2019t lower the pistol.\u00a0 Its barrel pressed into her temple.\u00a0 Her finger hovered near the trigger.<\/p>\n

AJ\u2019s mind raced, though he sat still in his chair.\u00a0 His instinct was to rush at her and make a mad grab for the gun, but he knew he\u2019d never get there in time.\u00a0 If he spooked her, she might react and pull the trigger by accident.\u00a0 He would have to take it slow, give her time to think things through, and buy himself some time, as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re doing it all wrong,\u201d he said, as casually as he could.\u00a0 Gabby didn\u2019t react, but he thought her saw her head twitch just a little to the side.\u00a0 She was listening.\u00a0 \u201cIf you shoot yourself in the side of the head, you\u2019re only gonna blow half your brains out.\u00a0 You can live with half a brain, you know.\u00a0 People did it all the time in the olden days, when they used to perform lobotomies.\u00a0 It\u2019s not much of a life, I\u2019m sure, but still, alive is alive.\u00a0 If you really want to kill yourself, you have to take out the brain stem.\u00a0 That\u2019s the part of your brain that controls all the vital stuff \u2013 heartbeat, breathing, and so on.\u00a0 If you want my advice, go through the mouth \u2013 direct path to the base of your skull.\u201d<\/p>\n

AJ had seen enough shrinks to know how reverse psychology worked.\u00a0 Gabby was a smart kid, but she was still just a kid.\u00a0 He could psych her out, he thought, by egging her on.\u00a0 Stall her, he hoped, by rambling long enough to make her realize this wasn\u2019t really what she wanted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI doubt you\u2019ll even taste the gunpowder,\u201d he went on.\u00a0 \u201cAs soon as you pull that trigger, the bullet will rip through the back of your throat and explode out the back of your head so fast, you won\u2019t even know what hit you.\u00a0 Just make sure you hold the gun straight.\u00a0 It might help to aim down a little, instead of up, so you don\u2019t miss.\u00a0 God, that would hurt like hell if you did.\u00a0 So keep that hand steady.\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as he said it, he could see her hand start to shake.\u00a0 She lowered her trigger finger, gripping the barrel with her whole fist.\u00a0 Her knuckles were white from clenching it so tightly.\u00a0 He could tell he was getting to her.\u00a0 What else could he say that would get her to put down the gun?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just glad your mom won\u2019t have to see the aftermath of this \u2013 well, unless you believe what Brian does, that she\u2019s up in Heaven watching you right now.\u00a0 Your mom was pretty religious, too, wasn\u2019t she?\u00a0 Well, anyhow\u2026 at least she won\u2019t have to scrape her daughter\u2019s brains off the wall, or sweep up the skull fragments from the floor.\u00a0 I guess that\u2019ll be Gretchen\u2019s job.\u00a0 But you don\u2019t care about that, do you?\u00a0 Gretchen\u2019s annoying, isn\u2019t she, trying to act like your mom?\u00a0 This is a good way to get back at her.\u00a0 Just think of how bad she\u2019ll feel when she sees what you\u2019ve done.\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused, watching Gabby closely.\u00a0 Her whole body was shaking now, and her arm seemed to have sagged with the weight of holding up the gun.\u00a0 He had almost broken her.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, did you write a note or anything in your journal?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cIf you didn\u2019t, it might be a good idea to take a few minutes and jot something down.\u00a0 It\u2019d be a nice gesture, anyway, for the people here who care about you.\u00a0 They\u2019ll want to try and understand what was going through your head, you know, before the bullet did.\u201d<\/p>\n

That did it.\u00a0 A strangled little sob, quickly stifled, slipped from the back of Gabby\u2019s throat, and she dropped the gun onto the mattress as she whipped her head around to face AJ.\u00a0 Her eyes were full of tears, but they flashed angrily as she cried, \u201cHow could they understand?!\u00a0 No one understands!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one understands?\u201d AJ repeated scornfully.\u00a0 \u201cWho in the hell do you think doesn\u2019t<\/i> understand?\u00a0 Everyone<\/i> here understands, kid!\u00a0 We\u2019ve all<\/i> lost our families.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you didn\u2019t shoot your own mom!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, but Brian killed his wife and kids.\u00a0 Nick had to beat down his baby brother.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey were zombies!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u00a0 You think that made it any less traumatizing?\u00a0 Think again, Gabby.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been through hell here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby hung her head, her whole body seeming to deflate as the fight went out of her.\u00a0 She slumped over sideways onto the bed, sobbing openly now.<\/p>\n

Finally, AJ dared to move closer.\u00a0 He wheeled his chair slowly around the foot of the bed to the other side and, when she wasn\u2019t looking, swept the gun out of her reach.\u00a0 \u201cI know it sucks, kid,\u201d he offered, reaching out to touch her shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI know it hurts like hell.\u00a0 It\u2019s gonna hurt, for a long time, but eventually, the pain will get better, even if it never completely goes away.\u00a0 Life will get better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d she mumbled, her face buried in the bedspread.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Cause I\u2019ve been there,\u201d he said simply.\u00a0 In his mind\u2019s eye, he could see himself in the bathtub, his arms floating at his sides, palms up.\u00a0 He watched as the blood poured from the deep gashes in his wrists, dyeing the bathwater pink.\u00a0 It reminded him of washing his paintbrushes, watching red paint swirl down the drain.\u00a0 His life was headed the same way \u2013 down the drain.\u00a0 He could feel it leaving him, drop by crimson drop, and he marveled over the sense of calm he felt as it did.\u00a0 He slid lower into the water, until it was up to his neck, and tipped his head back.\u00a0 The faint, shivery feeling vanished, as the warm water wrapped around him like a blanket.\u00a0 He was so tired, but soon he would be able to sleep.\u00a0 He closed his eyes.\u00a0 His ears were underwater now, and he could hear his heart thumping crazily, pumping more of his blood into the tub with every beat.\u00a0 Soon, there would be nothing left, and it would stop, and he would just slip away\u2026<\/p>\n

Except that he hadn\u2019t slipped away for good.\u00a0 His mother had come over to check on him, using the spare key he\u2019d given her to get in, and pulled his naked, lifeless body out of the tub.\u00a0 He\u2019d woken up in the hospital, where he\u2019d been pumped full of blood and placed on a suicide hold until he could convince everyone he wasn\u2019t going to try to off himself again the minute they discharged him.\u00a0 Remembering those dark days, he looked down at Gabby and added, \u201cI tried to kill myself last year, for reasons that seem ridiculous compared to what you\u2019re going through now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby lifted her tearstained face from the bedspread to look up at him in surprise.\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d she asked, sniffling.\u00a0 \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cDrugs.\u00a0 Depression.\u00a0 Dumb shit.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t matter, really.\u00a0 I got drunk and slit my wrists.\u00a0 They had to replace half my blood volume to resuscitate me.\u201d\u00a0 She stared in morbid curiosity as he showed her the long, thin scars on his forearms, cleverly camouflaged by his collage of tattoos.\u00a0 \u201cAt the time, I wished they\u2019d just let me die.\u00a0 And you know something?\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until the rest of the world died that I was glad I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 It took the fucking zombie apocalypse to make me appreciate being alive.\u00a0 But I do now.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never felt more alive.\u00a0 For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a purpose in this fucked-up world.\u00a0 And so do you, Gabby.\u201d<\/p>\n

She turned her head away from him again.\u00a0 \u201cNo I don\u2019t.\u00a0 You guys don\u2019t need me here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah we do.\u00a0 Now more than ever.\u00a0 The other group\u2019s gone.\u00a0 Your mom\u2019s dead.\u00a0 I\u2019m a fuckin\u2019 gimp.\u00a0 Without you, it\u2019s just Brian, Howie, and Gretchen.\u00a0 You think the three of them can keep this place going by themselves?\u201d\u00a0 He snorted derisively.\u00a0 \u201cGretchen can plant her little garden, but have you seen<\/i> her try to shoot a gun?\u00a0 And Howie\u2026 ha!\u00a0 You\u2019re a way better shot than Howie!\u00a0 As for Brian\u2026 well, it\u2019s a bad sign when the only capable fighter we\u2019ve got is a preacher.\u00a0 Next to him, you\u2019re the best shot on base.\u00a0 Trust me, kid, we need you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby sniffled again and said nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it\u2019s not gonna be easy,\u201d AJ added, \u201cbut we need you to be strong.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure your mom would want that, too.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t want you to give up.\u00a0 She\u2019d want you to keep surviving.\u201d<\/p>\n

To his surprise, Gabby looked up and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThat was the last thing she said to me,\u201d she told him, her eyes refilling with fresh tears.\u00a0 \u201cShe said, \u2018Be strong, and survive.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Thank you, Jo,<\/i> thought AJ.\u00a0 To Gabby, he said, \u201cThen what are you doing in here with a gun to your head?\u00a0 Listen to your mom, Gabby.\u00a0 Even if you don\u2019t listen to me or Gretchen or anyone else, listen to her.\u00a0 She was a smart lady.\u00a0 She always knew best.\u00a0 Keep her strength and spirit alive inside you, until you can pass it on to someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded again.\u00a0 \u201cOkay\u2026\u201d she agreed, in a small voice.<\/p>\n

He picked up the gun and placed it in his lap, backing away from the bed.<\/p>\n

Watching him, Gabby asked, \u201cAre you going to tell them?\u201d<\/p>\n

AJ shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want me to?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I won\u2019t.\u00a0 But you keep this door open.\u00a0 And no more guns for awhile, okay?\u201d\u00a0 She nodded.\u00a0 \u201cAnd if you feel this bad again, come and talk to me.\u00a0 Trust me, kid; I\u2019ve felt like putting a bullet in my brain plenty of times, especially since busting my leg.\u00a0 We can get through it together, alright?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gabby nodded one more time.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 That was all she said, but it was all that was needed right then.\u00a0 AJ knew she wouldn\u2019t try it again.\u00a0 He had a feeling she wouldn\u2019t have done it in the first place, but he would never tell her that.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, kid,\u201d he replied shortly and wheeled himself out of the room, leaving her to think about the things he\u2019d said.\u00a0 She was going to be one screwed up kid, but kids were resilient, and Gabby was strong, maybe stronger than she realized.\u00a0 She would go on surviving, and someday, she would be okay again.\u00a0 AJ had never been known for his optimism, but he felt reasonably sure about that much.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

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Chapter 82 The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. I forget where the fuck I heard that from, but it’s probably the truest statement ever made. Dying, that’s easy.\u00a0 I never thought I’d say that shit, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":8,"menu_order":82,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"onecolumn-page.php","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/317"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=317"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":318,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/317\/revisions\/318"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/8"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dreamers-sanctuary.com\/undead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}