There are three kinds of writers: 1) planners, who plan out everything before they write, 2) pantsers, who fly by the seat of their pants and write without planning ahead, and 3) plantsers, who do a combination of both. I am mostly a planner who leaves myself enough wiggle room to perhaps be considered a plantser. No one who knows my writing habits would call me a pantser. And yet, I will admit, the chapter I’m posting today was totally pantsed.
Chapter 33 of My Brother’s Keeper is up, and just to make myself clear: I did not plan this. I sat down in front of my computer on Martin Luther King Day with the beginning line in my head and no idea what to write next. So I went ahead and typed the first line, hoping more words would follow. Then I kept typing, flying by the seat of my pants, and what came out of those pants?
(Warning: Spoilers ahead.)
Total crap. I’m not even talking about the quality of the writing. I’m talking about literal… crap. 💩
I did not expect to write a chapter about crap in this story (or any story, really). To be honest, one of the first questions I remember googling when I started researching for this story almost five years ago was about how quadriplegics go number two. I was genuinely curious and felt like that was something I needed to understand, even if I never put it in the story. Once I found out the answer, I’m pretty sure I even thought, “Welp, I won’t be putting that in the story.” But, knowing my track record for writing things I once swore I would never write (slash, amputee sex scenes, and entire novels exploiting Nick’s heart condition, to name a few), I guess I should have seen this coming. But I definitely did not plan it. It was one of those writing days where I kept asking myself, “Why am I putting this in a fanfic??” But the words kept flowing, so I just went with it, figuring I could always rewrite it later. Before I knew it, I had finished a full chapter… and now here I am, posting it for you to read.
With that being said, I apologize to Kevin, Nick, and anyone who actually reads it for the content of this chapter. It may gross you out. It may make you laugh. It may make you feel sorry for both characters. If nothing else, I hope it will give you a greater appreciation for what real people with this disability and their caregivers have to deal with. I know I will never take the ability to go to the bathroom by myself for granted again. But I didn’t write this chapter just to be gross or funny or educational. I guess what I realized as I wrote it – and the reason I chose not to rewrite it – is that this chapter actually represents a pretty important milestone in Nick’s character journey. I thought it would have more of an impact on readers if I showed instead of just told it. So here it is in all its shitty glory. LOL
In all seriousness, thank you to anyone who’s read this far! If you decide to skip this chapter, I won’t hold it against you, but I hope you’ll come back for the next one because things are about to get dramatic again!
Before we go, here’s a clip from one of my all-time favorite BSB interviews, in which Nick tells the story that is referenced in this chapter.