Chapter 74

“Is it here yet?” Mason whined, hanging on the back of my chair.

I took another look at the arrivals board. “It says the plane landed, buddy, but you know how long it takes to get to the gate and let everybody off. At least Grandpa won’t be the last one left on the plane like we usually are. When you fly with him, you’ll be able to get off first.”

It was Good Friday, and my father-in-law was flying in from Kansas City for the night. In the morning, he would fly back home with Mason, who would be spending his spring break with Kristin’s side of the family. For the first time, I wouldn’t be going with him. Natalie and I were flying to Georgia the next day to celebrate Easter with her family. A few days later, Dawn and I would be leaving for Las Vegas to see Def Leppard. As much as I was looking forward to the adult time, I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about leaving Mason alone with my in-laws.

“They’re his grandparents!” Natalie had said when I’d told her how conflicted I felt about our upcoming plans. “They’re probably thrilled to have him all to themselves! Not that they don’t want to see you, too, but-”

“No, you’re right,” I’d quickly agreed with her. “Mason’s the one they care most about spending quality time with.”

What I hadn’t confided in her was my persistent fear that Kristin’s parents secretly resented me for surviving while their daughter had died – or, worse, that they blamed me for being behind the wheel during the car crash that had killed her. Neither of them had ever given me any indication that they felt this way, but my own survivor’s guilt seemed to flare up whenever I was around them. Maybe, subconsciously, that was one of the reasons why I had started to distance myself from them.

Ever since Kristin’s death, I’d made an effort to stay in touch with her side of the family. Mason and I typically saw them at least twice a year; I would invite them to Kentucky to be part of Mason’s birthday celebration, then take him to Kansas to spend time with them around the holidays. It was important to me that Mason have a relationship with all of his grandparents, and I knew it was important to them, too. But, between my work schedule and the plans I’d made with Natalie, it had been harder for me to find the time to get together with my in-laws in the last twelve months. Or maybe that was just a convenient excuse I’d made to avoid them – not because I didn’t want to see them but because I didn’t want them to see me with another woman.

Of course, Kristin’s parents both knew that I was dating someone and that it was getting serious. They knew that I’d gone down to Georgia to meet Natalie’s family just before Christmas and that I’d taken her on a trip to Jamaica the week after. When I had called to break the news that Mason and I wouldn’t be coming to Kansas in December like we usually did, they had claimed to be happy for me. “Kristin would want you to move on,” her mom, Susan, had insisted. “She wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life.” But I still felt weird about flaunting my new relationship in their faces – especially because they didn’t know that I was planning to propose to Natalie. I had been waiting to tell Kristin’s dad, John, in person, wanting to get his blessing first before I asked Natalie’s father, Bill, for permission to pop the question.

Standing next to me, Natalie shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking almost as antsy as Mason, albeit for different reasons. I knew she was even more nervous about meeting Kristin’s dad than I was about introducing her to him. “I know I’ll never be able to live up to his daughter,” she’d told me the night before, “but I hope he at least likes me.”

“He will,” I’d assured her. “You and Kristin have a lot in common. What’s not to like?” But, deep down, I was worried that John would see the similarities between Kristin and Natalie and assume I was trying to replace his daughter with another beautiful, brown-eyed woman. I wanted him to accept Natalie as the unique person she was, not compare her to Kristin.

“You okay?” I asked her now, reaching out to brush her arm with my knuckles.

Natalie nodded, turning to smile at me. “Yeah, babe, I’m fine. Are you?”

“Uh-huh.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I turned my attention back to the escalator that carried arriving passengers from the concourse above to the baggage claim area below. People were finally beginning to trickle down it. I looked up and saw John among them, holding onto his small carry-on suitcase. It didn’t take long for him to spot me and wave. I’d worn a Wildcats cap, wanting to stay inconspicuous in case any fans were around, but despite my best effort to blend in, my wheelchair would always cause me to stand out in a crowd.

“Grandpa!” Letting go of my chair, Mason made a beeline for John as he stepped off the escalator and walked toward us. Natalie and I stayed where we were, smiling as we watched John kneel down to hug his grandson. Then, holding his hand, Mason tugged him over to us.

“Good to see ya, son,” John said, giving me a hug, too. He clapped me on the shoulder as he straightened up to his considerable height. “How are ya?”

“Honestly, I’m doing really well,” I replied, smiling up at him. For the first time in over five years, I didn’t feel compelled to add the words “as well as can be expected” to avoid lying directly to his face. “How have you been?”

“Not too bad,” he said, but I saw his smile flicker and the light in his eyes fade as he looked down at me in my chair. No matter how long it had been or how far I had come, I knew that seeing me that way would always remind him of the worst day of his life, the day he’d lost his youngest daughter. I could still see the sorrow in his lined face, despite his attempt to mask it. But he didn’t seem to want to dwell on those traumatic memories any more than I did. Blinking, his eyes shifted to my right. “So, this must be Natalie.”

“Yes!” Clearing my throat, I quickly introduced them to each other. “Natalie Crawford, meet my father-in-law, John Willits.”

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Natalie said, stepping forward to shake his hand.

“Same to you.” He smiled at her. “I’ve been wondering when I was going to get to meet the mystery woman who’s made my son-in-law so happy lately. I’ve heard nothing but good things about you.”

She beamed back at him. “Aww… well, I can say the same about you and your Kristin. Kevin’s always made her sound like such a lovely person. I wish I could have met her, too.”

John nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. “I’m sure you would have liked her,” he said thickly. “Everyone did. Krissy never knew a stranger.”

“Nat’s the same way,” I said without thinking, then inwardly cursed myself for doing the exact thing I hadn’t wanted him to do: compare Natalie to Kristin.

“Yes, I hear you’re a stewardess,” he said.

“Flight attendant,” I corrected him, knowing Natalie was too polite to do so. “That’s what they’re called nowadays. Get with the times, John.” I grinned, giving him a playful punch in the arm. I couldn’t resist teasing him a little, the same way Kristin would have if she were there with us.

He cracked another smile. “Of course. Flight attendant – that’s what I meant. Please forgive me,” he replied apologetically. “I hope I didn’t offend you. All I was trying to say is that you’d have to be a people person to do that job.”

“No offense taken,” Natalie said, offering him a gracious smile in return. “My parents still tell people I’m a ‘stewardess’ sometimes.”

“Speaking of which, how were your flights here?” I asked my father-in-law, wanting to change the subject before things got any more awkward.

“Just fine,” he answered as we made our way toward the exit. “O’Hare was crowded, of course, but I figured it would be, heading into a holiday weekend.”

I nodded. “O’Hare’s always busy. But hopefully it won’t be too bad when you and Mason fly out tomorrow.”

“Well, even if it is, we’ll make do. I hear this guy’s becoming quite the seasoned traveler,” said John, ruffling Mason’s hair.

“That’s right,” I replied as I wheeled myself alongside them. “He’s already been through some of the busiest airports in the country. No international trips yet, but that will change once the world tour starts.”

“Ah, yes. And when does the tour start?”

“May twenty-fifth. We’re doing a run of six shows in China to work out the kinks before we kick off the North American leg of the tour at the beginning of August, which will coincide with our album release,” I explained as we followed the crosswalk to the parking lot. “We start rehearsals in a couple weeks.”

“Wow, that’s coming up soon!” he exclaimed. “Will you have a show in Kansas City?”

I shook my head. “Not this time around. We’re playing St. Louis, but I might be able to convince our tour manager to include a KC date if we end up doing a second North American leg next year. We’ll have to see how this first one goes.” I was already huffing and puffing from the effort of pushing my chair over the pavement, which made me wonder how the hell I was going to sing while wheeling myself around a stage. Maybe I won’t, I thought. Maybe they’ll just have me sit in the middle while the other guys dance around me. That was a depressing idea.

“Well, save us some seats in St. Louis then,” said John as we approached my truck. “We’d love to come watch you perform again.”

“Will do,” I promised, touched by his support. “It would mean a lot to me to have you there.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” he said, smiling at me. “You’ve come such a long way in the last five years and worked hard to get where you are. I’m proud of you, Kevin. I know Kristin would be, too. If she could see you now…”

“Mommy can see us!” Mason piped up, pointing toward the sky. “From Heaven! Right, Dad?”

Following the trajectory of his finger through the tears that had filled my eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the big, black crow perched near the top of the tree I’d parked next to. It hovered over us, watching from its vantage point on a branch high above our heads.

Swallowing the hard lump that had risen in my throat, I nodded. “Yeah, buddy. I believe she can.”

***

Just as Mason had impatiently awaited his grandfather’s arrival, I’d been anxiously waiting for an opportunity to talk to my father-in-law alone, far from listening ears. That opportunity finally came later that evening, after the dinner dishes had been cleared away and the kitchen cleaned. Dawn had gone upstairs to make sure Mason took a bath before he got ready for bed. Natalie had followed soon after to finish packing for our trip to Georgia. “I’ll let you two catch up,” she’d told me, bending down to steal a kiss before she left the kitchen.

I felt my face flush as I looked across the table at Kristin’s father, my lips still tingling from Natalie’s touch. “Well, John… I guess it’s just you and me,” I said, flashing him an awkward grin. “Want a glass of bourbon?” I didn’t know about him, but I needed something to help settle my nerves.

“Twist my arm, why don’t you?” he replied teasingly, his brown eyes twinkling. “You know I can never say no to a nice Kentucky bourbon.”

I told him where to find the bottle of bourbon in my liquor cabinet, which was too high for me – or, more importantly, Mason – to reach. Meanwhile, I parked my chair flush against the counter, so I could take a couple of glencairn glasses out of the hanging rack mounted under the middle shelf of one of my upper cabinets.

“Here, let me help you with that.” John hurried over as I leaned against the counter, raising my arms high over my head. Even with them fully extended, I could just barely reach the bottom shelf.

“No, that’s okay. I can do it.” Wrapping my curled hands around one of the tulip-shaped glasses, I slid it toward me and carefully lowered it to the countertop. I repeated the same maneuver with a second glass, managing not to drop either one. “See?” I said with relief. “I’ll let you do the pouring, though.”

“No problem,” he replied, patting my shoulder. “You’re getting pretty good at this sort of thing,” he added as he opened the bottle and filled the rounded bottom of both glasses with bourbon. “Have you regained any more function since I saw you last?”

I shook my head. “Nah. After five years of practice, I guess I’ve just figured out more ways to work with what I’ve got,” I said with a shrug. “I’m still going to P.T. a few times a week when I’m in town, trying to maintain as much function as I can and maybe gain a little more independence. Dawn’s been dealing with some health challenges lately, so the less I have to rely on her, the better.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said John, frowning as he turned to face me. “If there’s anything I can do to help…”

“You are helping, just by taking Mason off my hands for a few days,” I told him as we took our drinks back to the table. “I love that little boy with all my heart, but you know… it’s also nice to have some time alone with Natalie.”

“She seems like a sweet girl,” he said, one corner of his mouth turning upward into a crooked smile.

Swallowing a sip of bourbon, I nodded. “She is. I’m glad you got a chance to meet her.”

“Me too.” He took a drink. “It must be getting pretty serious between you two, huh?” he added as he set his glass down on the table. “I mean, this will be the second holiday you’ve spent with her family.”

“Yeah,” I said hoarsely, my mouth suddenly dry. I helped myself to another sip of my drink. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

He raised his eyebrows, a look of anticipation on his face.

I cleared my throat. “John, you know Kristin was the love of my life. That can never be replaced. She can never be replaced. But life’s too short to spend the rest of it alone. I want someone I can grow old with, and I want Mason to have another mother, not just a nanny. So… I’m planning to propose to Natalie,” I said, lowering my voice in case she was listening from upstairs. “Probably not right away; I still need to talk to her parents and pick out a ring first. But I wanted to tell you in person, so you could hear it from me instead of seeing it online or something. I know this may seem kinda sudden… but I hope you can be happy for me.”

“Of course, I’m happy for you, Kevin,” he said, his features relaxing into a reassuring smile. “Kristin would want you to be happy, too.” He held up his glass. “Here’s to you and Natalie and what will hopefully be a long, happy future together.”

“Thanks,” I whispered, smiling back in relief as I raised my own glass and clinked it against his. It was nice to know I had his approval.

Now I just needed it from Natalie’s father.

***