I was the last one to make it into the kitchen the next morning. Bryan, Dick, Herbie, and BJ were all sitting at the island, drinking coffee, when I finally rolled in, my hair still wet from my shower.

“Well, there you are, Sleeping Beauty,” said Bryan with a grin, oblivious to the fact that I had already been awake for two hours. “Want some coffee?”

“Please.” I handed him the travel mug I’d brought from home, which had a handle and lid and was far less breakable than the ceramic coffee cups the rest of the guys were drinking from. He filled it with freshly-brewed coffee from the pot on the counter, added a splash of creamer, and put the lid back on before placing it carefully in my hands. “Thanks.”

“How’d you sleep, Richard?” Herbie asked kindly.

“Not bad,” I lied. Between talking to Natalie into the wee hours of the morning and being woken up when Dawn came down to turn me, I had only managed to get a few hours of restless sleep – but that was mostly my fault. “I’m still a little jet-lagged,” I admitted as a yawn betrayed me.

“Aren’t we all?” muttered Dick, rubbing his puffy eyes. I bet he was regretting his suggestion that we get to the studio by noon.

“Where’s Dawn?” BJ asked, looking around.

“In her room, getting ready,” I replied, swallowing a sip of coffee. “Natalie’s meeting her here soon so they can do some sightseeing together.”

“Hey, I thought we said no girlfriends.” Herbie grinned at Dick before winking at me.

“Well, she can wait on the sidewalk then, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I just thought maybe y’all might wanna meet her while she’s in town for work anyway.”

“Right… for ‘work,’” said Bryan, making air quotes with his fingers as he flashed me a teasing grin. “I’m sure it was a complete coincidence that she got scheduled for the same flight we were gonna be on.”

“Well, I can’t speak for the rest of the guys, but I wanna meet this girl,” BJ said with sincerity. “I’m happy for you, bro.”

“Me, too,” said Dick, smiling at me. “I don’t care if she comes inside.”

“Thanks, fellas,” I said, smiling back.

Dawn came into the kitchen as we were finishing our coffee. “Good morning, Dawn,” Bryan greeted her. “Can I get you some coffee?”

“No, thanks,” she replied, glancing at the clock. “I’m gonna head out here in a few minutes. Besides, I already had a cup earlier while Richard was on the can.”

The other guys chuckled. “Ah, so you’re the coffee fairy,” Dick said. “We wondered who made the first pot. I thought it was Z.”

“Where are Z and Heath, anyway?” I wondered.

“Outside, waiting for our ride to get here,” replied Herbie.

Heath came in a minute later. “Knock knock,” he called as he poked his head into the kitchen. “There’s someone special here to see you, Rich.”

“Actually, I believe she’s here to see me,” Dawn said, jokingly barging through the door ahead of me. “Hey, Natalie!”

I followed her into the entryway, where Natalie was waiting with Heath. Even though she couldn’t have gotten much more sleep than I had, she looked surprisingly fresh-faced. “How do you manage to look so good even when you’re jet-lagged?” I asked as I rolled up to her.

Her lips curved into a smile. “Two words: coffee and concealer,” she said, pointing at her face. “Covers up the dark circles.”

“Ah, I see,” I said, chuckling. “You shouldn’t have revealed your secret. Just let me keep thinking you’re perfect.”

“Oh, please.” Still smiling, she rolled her eyes before she bent down to kiss me.

“You wanna meet the rest of the guys?” I asked when we broke apart.

Natalie nodded eagerly. “I’d love to!”

I led her down the hall and through the kitchen doorway. “Hey, fellas, this is my girlfriend, Natalie.” It still felt a little weird to use the word “girlfriend,” but now that we’d made it official, I wanted the others to know how much she meant to me. “Nat, this is Dick, Herbie, and BJ.”

“Nice to meet you, Natalie,” Dick and Herbie both said, standing up to shake her hand.

BJ went in for a hug. “Welcome to the Frontage Road House,” he said as he released her.

“Thanks!” she replied, blushing as she looked around. “I didn’t know if I’d be allowed in. Richard said there was a strict ‘No wives or girlfriends’ rule.”

“Blame Dick. That was his rule, not mine,” said Bryan, grinning at Dick.

Dick shrugged. “Everything’s always my fault,” he said good-naturedly.

I took Natalie on a quick tour of the house – the first floor, anyway – before she left with Dawn. While they walked to the bus stop down the street, the boys and I squeezed into the back of a van to head to the studio, stopping for breakfast on the way.

“Man, I’m stuffed,” said Bryan when he finished the last bite of his full English breakfast – sausage, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, beans, and toast. He pushed away his empty plate and slumped back in his seat, rubbing his stomach. I still don’t know how he managed to put away all that food and stay as skinny as he was.

“Me too,” Dick said, letting out a burp. “‘Scuse me.”

As our laughter died away, BJ cleared his throat. “So, fellas, I’ve got some big news to share with you. I wanted to tell y’all last night, but everyone was so tired, I thought I’d wait until we were all more awake. Guess what!”

“What?” we all asked.

Grinning, he announced, “Rachelle and I are having a girl!”

“I KNEW IT!” Dick shouted triumphantly, snickering as he pointed at BJ. “I knew you were gonna have the first Frontage Road girl!”

“Leave it to Boner to break the boy streak,” said Bryan, shaking his head. “You just had to be different, huh?”

“Damn right!” BJ chuckled. “I always thought it was a girl for just that reason.”

“Congratulations, bro.” Herbie grinned. “You’re gonna be a great girl dad.”

“Yeah, you are,” I agreed. “I’m happy for you, BJ. What a lucky little girl she is to have you as her daddy.”

“Aww, Rich. You’re making me blush.” BJ beamed. “Thanks, everybody. Her name is Bella Johnne, only Johnne is spelled J-O-H-N-N-E to make it more feminine.”

“Another BJ,” Bryan said, smiling. “That’s a scary thought, but I like it.”

I nodded. “Very cute. We can’t wait to meet Bella when she gets here.”

“She’s half-baked already,” BJ said. “We’ve got less than five months to go until her due date.”

“It’ll be here before you know it,” said Herbie. “Especially if Bella comes early like Seamus did.”

“No offense, bro, but I hope she doesn’t.” BJ shuddered. “All I want is a healthy baby. She’s worth the wait.”

Herbie nodded. “I know. NICU is no joke, but Seamus turned out great, thank God. Hopefully this next one will, too.”

He said the last part quietly, but we all heard it and exchanged glances, each of us wondering the same thing.

“Wait, what next one?” Dick was the first to ask, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Herbie. “You mean Bella or…?”

As he trailed off, Herbie’s cheeks darkened. “I wasn’t supposed to let it slip this soon,” he said with a guilty grin, “but Bree and I are expecting again.”

“What?!” Bryan cried. “Way to go, HD!”

“Dude, congratulations!” BJ added. “That means our kids are gonna be the same age! When’s Bree due?”

“Not until February,” said Herbie. “She’s only about five weeks along, so it’s still really early. We weren’t planning to announce we were pregnant until the end of August or beginning of September, so please don’t say anything.”

“Five weeks, huh?” Dick wiggled his eyebrows. “Guess we all know the first thing Herbie did when he got home from tour,” he said, snickering.

Herbie’s face flushed even more. “Like you and Lorraine did anything different?” Herbie replied, raising his eyebrows at Dick.

“We did. We used birth control,” Dick said matter-of-factly, making everybody laugh. “But, in all seriousness, congratulations, bro. Better you than me.”

“You still don’t want kids, huh, Dick?” I said, shaking my head. Hearing BJ and Herbie talk about their pregnant wives and babies on the way had filled me with a flood of mixed emotions. On one hand, I was happy for both of them, but on the other, it made me miss Karen even more. I mourned for the future we could have had together, the missed opportunity to grow our family.

“Nope,” Dick replied flatly, folding his arms across his chest. “Lorraine and I are having way too much fun being a kid-free couple. Besides, I don’t think I’d make a very good dad.”

“I disagree,” I said with a frown, remembering how much he had helped me with Jason during the four months he had lived with us after my accident. “You’d be a great dad! Just like the rest of these guys.”

Dick shrugged. “We’ll see,” he said noncommittally, but I could tell by the way the corners of his mouth twitched upward that he was touched by what I’d said.

I turned to Herbie. “Congratulations, brother. I couldn’t be happier for you and Bree,” I told him, hoping I sounded sincere.

Herbie couldn’t have known how his announcement would trigger my grief. But the sympathetic way he smiled at me made me think maybe he could understand, to an extent, my complicated feelings on the matter. “Thanks, man,” he said. “That means a lot coming from you.”

When the waitress came by to collect our plates, we asked for the bill. But before we could pay it, Bryan cleared his throat. “Hey, not to take away from BJ and Herbie’s exciting news, but I’ve got something I wanna tell y’all, too, while we’re here together,” he began.

Dick’s jaw dropped. “Dude! Don’t tell us Breighanne’s pregnant, too!”

Bryan shook his head, pressing his lips into a tight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No… that ship has sailed,” he said with a humorless chuckle. “It’s actually not good news.” He glanced over at me, and I gave him a subtle nod, silently encouraging him to go on.

The smiles had faded from the other guys’ faces. I couldn’t blame them for looking concerned; I had felt the same way when he’d told me about his vocal condition on Thanksgiving.

“What’s going on, bro?” BJ was the first to ask.

Bryan took a deep breath. “So, I’m sure y’all noticed me struggling with some of my vocals when we were on tour.”

I saw the others exchange knowing glances. There was no doubt in my mind that they had noticed, even if they’d never confronted him about it.

“I wasn’t ready to talk about it then,” Bryan went on, “and, to be honest, it’s still hard for me to talk about now. But, with us going back into the studio, it’s time for me to come clean about what’s been going on with me.”

“Oh, god.” The color drained from Dick’s face as he stared at Bryan. “Is it your heart again?”

BJ’s and Herbie’s eyes widened, but Bryan quickly shook his head. “No… nothing like that,” he replied, shooting Dick a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry – it’s not life-threatening. Basically, I’ve been diagnosed with a couple of conditions that affect my vocal cords. One of them is called muscle tension dystonia, and the other is dysphonia. They’re two different things, but they go together.”

I listened as Bryan talked, finally telling the other guys what he’d confided in me about more than six months ago. The conversation went about the same way as it had on Thanksgiving. BJ, Herbie, and Dick asked all kinds of questions about what had caused the conditions and how they could be treated, and Bryan told them about the voice therapy he’d tried.

“It hasn’t seemed to make much of a difference yet,” he admitted. “That’s the main reason I decided to tell you now, before we went into the studio. The crowd may have helped to cover it up during our concerts, but when it’s just me by myself in a recording booth, I won’t be able to hide it anymore.”

Dick frowned. “Dude, why would you hide it from us before? Why didn’t you just tell us when you first got diagnosed with this?”

Bryan sighed. “Because it’s not easy to talk about. You, of all people, should know that.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Dick demanded, his nostrils flaring. “When I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy a few years ago, I told you guys the first chance I got. I didn’t wait months.”

“Okay, fine, but it was still hard for you to talk about, wasn’t it?”

Dick shrugged. “Yeah, but… we’re a family, bro. We should be able to have hard conversations with each other. You shouldn’t hide shit like that from us.”

“Oh, right, because none of you have ever hidden things from the rest of the group,” Bryan replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as his gaze shifted from Dick to BJ.

“Hey, don’t look at me,” BJ said, holding up his hands. “I’m not the one judging you here. I fully admit that I have hidden shit in the past and avoided having hard conversations. I don’t blame you for keeping it to yourself.”

“But he didn’t keep it to himself. Richard knew,” said Dick, fixing me with an accusatory stare. “Didn’t you?”

My silence must have given it away. As all eyes turned to me, I nodded. There was no use trying to deny it. “Bryan told me when we were together on Thanksgiving,” I said, confirming Dick’s suspicions. “We had a long talk about it. That was when he asked me to consider coming back to the group.”

“I thought we could use another strong voice to make up for mine not being at its best,” Bryan admitted.

“Well, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing then,” said Herbie, who always tried to look on the bright side. “I mean, it brought Richard back. And hopefully, we’ll have a better balance between all five of our voices on this album. I’m sure we can work around Bryan’s condition and find parts that suit his voice best.”

I knew Herbie would never say so out loud, but deep down, there had to be a part of him that was secretly delighted to hear that Bryan might not be able to sing as much as he had on past albums. Before Bryan had joined the group, Herbie was a lead singer. Maybe he saw this as his opportunity to step back into the spotlight. As the other “backup singer” in the group, I couldn’t blame him. I had already made it clear on our last trip to London that I expected to have more solos this time around, too.

“Good point, Herbie.” I glanced around the table at the others. “Y’all assured me we would find a way to make things work with my disability. We can do the same for Bryan.” I let my eyes linger on Dick, hoping he would let it go.

To my relief, he and BJ both nodded. “Of course,” BJ said. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks, guys,” Bryan said, flashing us a grateful smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m gonna try my best not to let this affect the group or the album. With that being said, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention anything about it to our producers or the documentary crew. I’ll address it at some point if I need to, but I’m not ready to talk about it on camera yet, okay? That’s why I wanted to tell you before we got to the studio.”

“Nothing like waiting ‘til the last minute,” Dick muttered, but the others nodded in agreement.

When our waitress came back with the bill, Bryan offered to pay for everyone’s breakfast. While he took out his wallet, Dick excused himself to the bathroom. “I’d better go, too,” I said, remembering the two cups of coffee I’d had to drink.

I wheeled myself away from the table and followed Dick into the men’s room, checking to make sure it was empty except for the two of us before I entered the accessible stall.

“You could give Bryan a break, you know, Dick,” I called through the closed door as I pulled my bag off the back of my chair. “Not everyone’s an open book like you are.”

“Who says I’m an open book?” I heard Dick mutter back.

“Aren’t you literally writing a book about your life?” I replied, fighting the urge to laugh at his response. “Ever since that photoshoot you did for People a few years ago, you’ve seemed pretty open to me. But Bryan’s always been a private person. He doesn’t like to talk about the tough stuff. I just wish you’d try to put yourself in his shows and appreciate how hard it was for him to have that conversation with us just now.”

“Well, he should have had it with us a long time ago,” Dick retorted. “He’s been struggling with this for over a year now, but every time one of us tried to bring it up with him, he would get defensive and dodge our questions. I’m glad he’s finally addressing the issue, but waiting until we’re literally on our way to the studio wasn’t the best move.”

So they had known. They had heard the strain in Bryan’s voice, just as I had. “I don’t disagree with you there,” I conceded as I set up my supplies. “I tried to get him to tell y’all back in November when he first told me. But now that he finally has, I hope you’ll cut him some slack. He needs our support, not our judgment.”

“Yeah… I know.” Dick sighed. “I’m just annoyed at the timing – and worried about how this is gonna affect the next album.” Hearing his voice soften, I realized his angry reaction had been a way of hiding the anxiety he felt about Bryan’s announcement.

“It’ll be okay, Dick,” I tried to assure him, remembering the terrified look on his face when he’d asked if it had to do with Bryan’s heart. “Like Herbie said, we can work around it.”

“I hope so.” After a pause, he added, “It’s just that.. Bryan’s always been our MVP, you know? He’s probably sung the most of anyone on our past albums. The Frontage Road sound wouldn’t be the same without his voice.”

“Our sound has evolved over the years,” I pointed out, taking a catheter out of its sterile packaging. “I’m sure it changed a little when I left, and it’ll be different now that I’m back. This is just the next phase in our evolution. It’s a new era for the Frontage Road Fellas, in more ways than one.”

“I guess that’s true,” he admitted. “And, hey – maybe it’s finally time for you and Herbie to shine.”

“I’d be happy with that,” I said, smiling.

I heard the urinal flush, followed by the sound of running water from the sink and the roar of the hand dryer. “See you back out there, man,” Dick said before he exited the bathroom, leaving me to finish my business by myself.

Once I rejoined the rest of the group at our table, we left the restaurant and piled back into our van for the short ride to the studio. It was after one o’clock by the time we got there, and the camera crew was already there waiting for us.

“Well, we’re only an hour late,” said BJ with a shrug as we went inside. “That’s actually not bad for Frontage Road Time.”

That afternoon, we met with our producer, Marvin Carafe, who played us some songs he and his team had written with us in mind since our last meeting in April. A lump rose in my throat as I listened to the lyrics of a song called “Strive,” which he sang live as he strummed his acoustic guitar.

“I know… that you’re hurting now.
Seems like… there’s just no way out.
Feels like… it’s all gone wrong.
You keep on slipping… till you can’t hold on.
Don’t worry… I’m right by your side.
My shoulder’s yours… if you need to cry.
There are times when… life is just too much.
I know you want to… but don’t give up…”

As he reached the chorus and second verse, it became clear that the song was about a couple trying to heal from some sort of painful experience, but I connected deeply with it on a personal level. It reminded me of the words of encouragement the people around me had offered in the months following my accident, when I was wallowing in grief, struggling to relearn the most basic tasks of daily living. Thinking back to that time in my life brought tears to my eyes. “This is powerful stuff,” I murmured, wiping my tears away as he let the last chord linger in the air.

“Aww, Richy Rich!” When he saw my wet face, BJ came over and threw his arm around me. “I really like that one, too,” he said, rubbing my shoulder. “You know it’s a winner when it gets Richard crying!”

Everyone laughed.

“Thanks, brother,” I said, cracking a smile. “It just reminded me of the kind of stuff y’all used to say to me when I was in the hospital… and when you and Dick lived with me after I went home.” Catching Dick’s eye across the table, I nodded at him. “I wouldn’t have made it through those first few months without your support.”

“We love you, bro,” Dick said, flashing me a lopsided smile in return.

The next song we heard was another beautiful ballad called “Adelaide.” Like “Strive,” it had an uplifting tone, a positive message of hope and perseverance. “I think our fans will love this one,” said Herbie as we listened to the chorus.

“Hold on… don’t let go.
Hold on… you’ll know.
Help is on its way.
Rise up, rise up, rise up, Adelaide.
The sun’ll come up again.
Rise up, rise up, rise up, Adelaide.
The summer will come and
Kiss you with honesty,
Love you unconditionally,
Trust you and let you breathe,
Give you back your dignity,
So rise up, rise up, rise and live again.
‘Cause only you can, Adelaide.”

I nodded, misty-eyed once again. “I love it, too. It’s got a great message.”

The last song Marvin played for us was a more upbeat tune called “Trust Me.” I couldn’t help but picture Natalie’s pretty face as he began the first verse.

“Let me tell you ‘bout this girl I know.
First glance and, damn, she stole my heart.
She amazes me…”

The chorus had a fun call-and-response format that I found irresistibly catchy. By the last time through, all five of us were singing along, the others clapping while I banged my fist on the table to the beat.

“You got to call me… and I’ma call you back.
Kiss me… and I’ma kiss you back.
Love me… and, baby, I’ma love you back.
You got to trust me, trust me.
Hold me… whenever you’re alone.
Baby… even when you’re crazy.
Love me… and, baby, I’ma love you back.”

“That one’s a keeper, too,” I told Marvin. “You nailed it, brother.”

“Not so sure about the ‘making sweet, sexy babies’ line,” Bryan said with a grin, “but the rest is great.”

Dick nodded. “I can definitely see us performing that one live. It would get the crowd going.”

“It sounds like the kind of song you’d hear played in a pub,” Herbie added enthusiastically.

“It’s got a good message, too,” BJ agreed. “Trust is so important to any relationship… trust me.”

I nodded, thinking again of Natalie and the mutual trust we’d built over the last few months. When I checked my phone after the meeting, I was happy to find a text from her with a photo of her and Dawn in front of the Tower of London. “We’re having lots of fun, but wish you were here!” she had written. “Hope your day’s going well!”

“So far, so good,” I texted her back. “Thinking of you.” I added a heart emoji before I hit send, hoping she wouldn’t read too much into it like she had at Dinosaur World.

We spent the rest of the afternoon messing around in the studio while the camera crew filmed some footage for the documentary. As the sun sank lower in the sky outside, I sat tinkering at the piano, picking out random melodies with the styluses I’d inserted into my wrist cuffs. The other guys were scattered around the studio, all doing their own thing, so when I played the beginning of “Quit Fucking ‘Round,” I didn’t expect any of them to be listening. But, to my surprise, Bryan came in with his part, right on cue.

“Even in my heart… I see… that you’re not being true to me,” he sang hoarsely, his voice cutting out on the higher notes. “Deep within my soul… I feel… that nothing’s like it used to be.”

“Sometimes I wish I could,” Herbie joined him in harmony as Dick wandered our way, strumming his guitar. “Turn back time… impossible as it may seem. But I wish I could… so bad… baby… you better quit fucking ‘round with my head…”

“Quit fucking ‘round with my head,” BJ sang along with Dick and me, shaking a tambourine he’d picked up from a shelf of percussion instruments. “Before I beat your ass dead, quit fucking ‘round with my head…”

“I should have known you would spread,” Bryan sang as he slipped his guitar strap over his head and started strumming next to Dick.

“You’d spread your legs apart… For other guys in bed…” Herbie drummed his hands on a wooden box to keep the beat. “Quit fucking ‘round with my head.”

I had a hard time keeping up with my two-finger method, let alone remembering the right notes for a song I hadn’t performed in years, but it felt good to be playing music with the guys again. When we finished the song, the entire camera crew broke into applause.

“That was fantastic, gents!” the director, James, exclaimed, clapping.

The other guys and I grinned at each other, knowing the impromptu performance was far from our best. But it was a nice bonding moment between us, a way to break the ice and relieve the tension from breakfast that morning. As we drove back to the house that night, I felt happy with what we’d done on our first day in the studio.

“So, how was it?” asked Dawn as she helped me get ready for bed.

“It was good. We didn’t get a lot done, but we got the creative juices going,” I replied. “I feel a little less rusty than I did before.”

She laughed. “Well, that’s good.”

“How about you? How was your day with Natalie?”

“Wonderful! It was amazing, actually setting foot in places I’d only seen in pictures or read about in history books,” she replied, letting out a happy sigh. “The Tower of London was so flippin’ cool! I don’t know if Natalie loved it as much as I did. I made her sit down during the medieval torture exhibit – she looked so pale, I thought she was gonna pass out.”

“Oh no,” I said, laughing. “She’s a little squeamish. I found out that the night I cracked my head open in her hotel room. I hope she was okay after that.”

“Oh, yeah, she was fine after a few minutes,” Dawn assured me. “I wish you could have gone with us, but it wasn’t very wheelchair-friendly, unfortunately. Lots of stairs.”

“I figured. Can’t exactly install elevators inside the towers of a castle that’s almost a thousand years old,” I said with a shrug. “It’s okay, though – I’ve been there before. I feel blessed to have been able to see so much of the world while I was able-bodied.”

Dawn smiled. “Well, I feel blessed to be able to see it before I’m too old to appreciate it. Thank you again for bringing me along with you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled back. “I’m glad you’re having a good time so far. What are you gonna do tomorrow when Natalie leaves?”

“I guess I’ll have to venture out on my own and try not to get lost,” she said with a nervous laugh. “We took the Underground today, so I at least have some idea of how that works. I don’t wanna waste my time hanging out here when I could be seeing more of the city.”

I nodded. “You know, you can take Heath with you tomorrow if you want to. That’d probably be more fun for him than standing guard outside the studio with Z. The fans haven’t found us yet, so we don’t really need two bodyguards.”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows. “That would be great! I’d feel a lot more comfortable with Heath around.”

“Consider it done, then,” I said. “I’ll talk to him first thing in the morning.”

“Thanks!” She walked over to the kitchenette to fill my water bottle. “What time do you want to get up tomorrow?”

“Eight?” I suggested. “We’re gonna try to get to the studio earlier than we did today.”

Dawn nodded. “Consider it done.” She made sure the hinged lid of my water bottle was closed all the way before she laid it beside me on the bed, where it would be within my reach if I woke up thirsty in the night.

“Thanks, Dawn.”

“I’ll be down in a few hours to turn you,” she said as she tucked the covers around me and handed me my phone. “Now, don’t stay up too late talking to Natalie like you did last night.”

I chuckled. “I won’t. I’m too tired for that tonight – trust me.”

But as soon as Dawn headed upstairs to her own room, I FaceTimed Natalie so that I could see her face before I fell asleep.

***

 

April Fool! 😜

Don’t worry – I won’t really be changing the Boys’ names in all my stories. RPF writer for life! Dreamer’s Sanctuary will be back online tomorrow with the original BSB version of this chapter posted, but in the meantime, you can read it on AO3 now. I hope this gave you a laugh! Thanks for reading!

-Julie