Back for more?

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Thank you so much to everyone who took time to read the monster of a chapter I posted last week and give feedback, whether it was here, AO3, Twitter, or wherever.  I really appreciate it!

We’re halfway through through Heroic Measures!  Just when one cliffhanger was resolved, I left you off with another one.  So much fun! 😉  You’ll find out more in Chapter 6, which has been posted.

This chapter wins the award for the most awkward, cringe-worthy one I wrote in this story.  I will warn you, the first scene gets kinda gross.  I went back and forth with myself about whether or not to include certain details, but at the end of the day, I decided to go for realism and not gloss over the parts that made me uncomfortable.  If it makes you uncomfortable too, it’s supposed to – imagine how the characters feel.  (Sorry, AJ.)  Also, kudos to the real healthcare workers who do this kind of stuff every day.  Researching/reading/writing about it is one thing; actually doing it is another!  There is a reason I didn’t choose a career in medicine, even though I considered it.  You have my utmost respect!

On a different note, those of you who are longtime ER fans like me may have already recognized the influence my favorite episode, “Hell and High Water,” had on this story.  For those who aren’t as familiar with the show, I want to say this:  if you only ever watch one episode of ER, make it that one.  Season 2, Episode 7.  It’s a shining moment for George Clooney’s character, Dr. Ross, and an all-around riveting episode.  The details are different, but Brian and Nick’s storyline was definitely inspired by elements of that episode.

Last thing:  I have been inundated with spam accounts registering on the site lately, so I installed some new plugins and cleaned house by manually deleting hundreds of spam users.  I hope I didn’t accidentally delete any real visitors, but if I did, I apologize.  Please register again if you want to use your site account to leave a comment on any post or chapter.  If I recognized your name as one of the awesome readers who does leave feedback, or if you had a reference to BSB in your username or email, I didn’t delete you.

Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

Three for one deal!

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Thanks so much for the support on Twitter for my last post.  I love Brian, and I hate conflict and confrontation, so it was difficult for me to speak out against his wife.  As soon as I clicked the publish button, I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of him possibly seeing my post.  I typically try to fly under the radar, but as I’ve seen many people say, “Silence is compliance.”  After days of feeling conflicted over this, I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. In the past couple days, Leighanne has made her Facebook page private and protected her tweets, which at least makes it so only her friends and followers will see her posts. She has also expressed a willingness to have a conversation with some of the fans who respectfully called her out, saying it’s something she’s been discussing with Brian. I consider this a small victory for the BSB Army.

Speaking of Brian…  A few of my fellow Brian girls were talking on Twitter this week about how we wish Brian had a fan club, so we decided to start an unofficial one of our own in the form of a forum for Brian fans.  If you would like to join us in drama-free discussion about all things Brian, head over to the Brian Littrell Fan Forum!

And finally, for those who have been reading Heroic Measures, you’re finally gonna get some answers about Brian.  I know I left you hanging last week, still wondering about his fate.  Hopefully Chapter 5, which is up now, will help make up for that!  This is the first chapter I wrote during quarantine, and it’s more than triple the length of any of the previous chapters, so it’s like you’re getting three chapters for the price of one.

This is the perfect point in the story for me to give a shoutout to the writers of ER.  Writing this story was a lot harder than I thought it would be because of the level of research it took to get things “right.”  I put that word in quotes because I’m sure it’s not perfect, and neither is ER, but as far as TV medical dramas go, that show comes pretty damn close.  I’ve read articles and watched videos with real doctors reviewing the various hospital shows on their realism, and they always rank ER near the top.  As I researched for this chapter in particular, I made a point of looking up what was considered best practice in 1995 because I know the guidelines have changed since then.  Reading journal articles from the early nineties and then watching ER episodes made around that same time, I was able to appreciate just how right the show got it most of the time.   And not only did they nail the medical info, but the way they wove it so seamlessly into the action of each scene was masterful.  I tried my best to emulate them, but it was definitely not as easy as the ER writers always made it look.  Kudos to them!

WTF, Leighanne?

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This is not a story update, but a statement on recent events within the BSB fandom. I’ve been reluctant to bring up politics on this platform because I believe fanfic should be an escape from real world problems. But this is about more than politics, and as both a writer and a Brian girl, I feel a certain obligation to say something about what his wife has been posting on her social media. I’m way too wordy to do this on Twitter, so I’m saying it here.

Brian has been my favorite Backstreet Boy for as long as I’ve been a fan. I used to want to marry him. As a fifteen-year-old, I cried when I found out he was engaged, but after I accepted that fact, I decided to be happy for him and embrace the woman who made him happy. With the exception of Paris Hilton, I’ve always tried to respect the Boys’ significant others out of respect for the Boys themselves. Most of their wives make that easy because they seem like genuinely wonderful women who are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside. But one of them has been making it a whole lot harder lately.

As a Brian fan, I used to defend Leighanne when people talked badly about her. Sure, I may have rolled my eyes at the ridiculous things she said and did and poked fun at her in some of my stories, but I also went to her Wylee parties and supported her business by buying stuff. I’ve had more interactions with her than with any of the other wives, and she was nothing but nice and friendly each time I met her.

All that being said, I’m done defending her. After seeing the hateful, racist, transphobic, ignorant bullshit she’s been posting on Facebook, which has spread to her other social media accounts, I have lost all respect for her.

I also resent her for continuing to put Brian in a difficult position after fans called her out and let her know how much her posts have offended people. I don’t expect him to publicly denounce his wife because that is not in his character. He’s between a rock and a hard place: whether he speaks up or remains silent, someone will be upset with him either way. Leighanne must have seen the criticism he’s been getting for not making some kind of statement contrary to her opinions, but she doesn’t seem to care that she is hurting both her husband’s reputation and his fans.

I know that Brian is conservative, and while I don’t agree with his political beliefs, I respect his right to have them. I also think it’s possible to be a Republican without being racist or transphobic, although I acknowledge that those lines have become more and more blurred as of late. I would like to believe Brian does not share the same extreme views as his wife. Based on what I’ve seen his brother and cousin post, I believe he was raised better than that, whereas his wife clearly wasn’t. I don’t know that for a fact, but as he’s not the one who’s been posting this stuff, my beef is not with him. It’s not Brian’s place to police his wife’s social media; Leighanne has her own mind and the right to speak it. I just wish that she would show some consideration for her famous husband, if not for the fans that help fund her lifestyle, and think about the consequences of her words before she puts them out into the world.

For the record: Black lives matter. Trans women are women, and trans men are men. Covid-19 is real and should be taken seriously, not treated as a hoax. And Donald Trump is both a terrible leader and a horrible human being.

One of my favorite things about being a part of the Backstreet Boys fandom is how it’s enabled me to meet so many amazing fans from all around the world, people I would never have had the opportunity to know otherwise. We were brought together by a shared love of five men and the music they make, and hate has no place in our fandom. Rather than let one woman divide us, I hope the BSB Army will unite behind the Boys, support and learn from each other, and celebrate the diversity that makes us such a force to be reckoned with. Personally, I’ve learned a lot from friends who come from different countries and cultures, and I’m still learning how to be a better ally to friends of color and friends in the LGBTQ community. I want visitors from all backgrounds and parts of the world to feel welcome here. My escape is yours as well.

With that being said, I’ll be back Thursday night with the next chapter of Heroic Measures. Thanks for reading!

Heroic Measures Update!

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Chapter 4 of Heroic Measures is up!  ER fans, these next four chapters are for you – they feature a ton of characters from the show and the most medical stuff in the story.  Enjoy!

New layout!

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It’s been a LONG time since I’ve revamped the site – six-and-a-half years, in fact!  That’s the longest I’ve ever kept the same layout, by far!  There are a couple reasons for this:  1) I dearly loved my Make Believe layout, and 2) I was afraid to mess up the site by changing WordPress themes.  I made many customizations to my old theme, Mantra, which served me well for over seven years.  But after that long, I was ready for a change and figured this was the perfect time for a revamp!  I’ve spent the last two days designing and customizing a new layout, courtesy of a different theme from the the folks at Cryout Creations, Fluida.  If anyone reading this uses WordPress for their website, I highly recommend the themes from Cryout Creations, as they are ultra-customizable, easy to configure, and best of all, free!

I also want to give credit to the Backstreet Boys’ amazing photographer, Justin Segura, who took all of the concert photos I incorporated into the layout.  I call this layout “Starlight,” and it was inspired by the beautiful photo in the header, which was taken in Mexico earlier this year.  I know many of us in North America were looking forward to concerts coming up soon and are bummed by the postponement of the tour.  This layout represents where we all wish we could be!

As with any revamp, you may come across some glitches that I haven’t caught yet.  If you do find a broken link or part of the site that doesn’t work right, please let me know so I can fix it.  You can leave a comment on this post or contact me directly.  Most of the changes I made are cosmetic – different colors and fonts – but I did have to change a few short story links for navigation purposes.

You should be able to find everything on the same pages as before, with two exceptions:  I moved my two oldest collaborations, Code Blue and Phantasm, to the Dreamer’s Sanctuary Archive, where I keep all my other old stories from the pre-Broken era, 2000-2002. Unfortunately, I have given up hope of ever continuing Code Blue, and I don’t feel much of a connection to Phantasm, since it was a round robin I just contributed a couple of chapters to.  You can find both stories at the bottom of the My Stories page on the Archive if you still want to read them.  As Brianna reminded me earlier, there are some oldies-but-goodies among the hosted stories posted there too!

I hope you like the new look of the site!  I know many of you read on your phones, and the mobile layout should work at least as well, if not better than the last one, but I highly recommend you pull it up on a computer if you can.  It’s so much more beautiful there!  If you do use your phone, try turning it sideways; the header definitely looks better that way.  If you have any issues or feedback, feel free to reach out!

I’ll be back on Thursday with the next chapter of Heroic Measures!