I thoroughly enjoyed my time in London with the Boys, but after five busy days, I was ready to head home. When Brian, Nick, Howie, AJ, and their team flew on to Belfast for their first show, Keith and I boarded a plane back to the States.
“I can’t believe it’s been nineteen years since you called me outta class and asked me to come to Orlando to audition for this group,” Brian said as we hugged each other goodbye at the airport.
“I know. Crazy, huh?” I replied. “Happy anniversary, cuz.” Our official anniversary as a group wasn’t until the next day, but for Brian, it had all started on April nineteenth.
“Thanks, cuz. Can’t wait to have you back for good.” He clapped his hand on my shoulder. “It’s never been quite the same without you.”
“It won’t be quite the same with me either,” I reminded him. “But thanks. It’s been nice hanging out with y’all, gettin’ back into the swing of things.”
“I wish you were coming to the show tomorrow night…” Brian let his statement linger, as if hoping I would change my mind at the last minute and fly to Belfast with them instead.
“I know, but I need to get home to my boy,” I said firmly. “Break a leg tomorrow night.”
“Thanks. Have a safe flight.” He paused before adding with a wink, “I hope you’ve got that thing on good and tight this time.”
I cringed, feeling my face flush. “Yeah… me too.”
Thankfully, the flight home went smoothly. Mason was waiting for me on the front porch when I pulled into the circular driveway outside our house. “Daddy!” he cried happily, running down the steps to hug me as my truck’s lift lowered me to the ground. He practically leaped into my lap.
“Hey, buddy!” I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I missed you so much.”
“Your mom just dropped him off a few minutes ago.” Dawn appeared at the top of the steps. “How was your trip?” she asked eagerly as I rolled myself up the ramp.
“It was wonderful. I’ll tell you all about it,” I promised.
“I hope you’re hungry,” said Dawn as she walked past me, heading down to pull my luggage out of the back of the truck. “Dinner’s almost ready!”
I was more tired than hungry, but over dinner, I entertained Mason and her with stories from my trip. I left out the parts about Natalie in front of my son, not knowing how he would react to the idea of me dating again. He may not have had any memories of his mom, but he’d had me all to himself for the last four years. I wasn’t sure how happy he would be to share me with someone new.
But after Mason went to bed, I told Dawn about having drinks and dinner with Natalie. “It was totally different from my date with Lisa,” I said as she helped me unpack my bags. “I mean, I had fun with Lisa, but I didn’t feel any sort of spark.”
Dawn raised her eyebrows. “And you did for Natalie?”
I nodded. “When she kissed me, it was like-”
“You let her kiss you?” Her eyebrows shot up even higher on her forehead.
I laughed, feeling my face flush. “I guess I hadn’t gotten that far, but yeah… I did. Why? Do you think it was too fast?”
Dawn made a face. “Oh, please. You’re a forty-year-old man, Kevin; I would never tell you that you were moving too fast. I’m just surprised, since you’ve been moving at a snail’s pace since you first brought up the idea of dating again. But, hey…” She grinned and patted my shoulder. “I’m proud of you!”
I smiled back. “Thanks.”
I called Natalie the next day and nearly every other day after that. On the days I didn’t call her, she called me instead, sometimes at odd hours because she was out of the country in a completely different time zone. Over the course of that first week after I came home from London, we talked for hours. She was easy to talk to; I felt so comfortable when I was on the phone with her that I could almost forget I was a forty-year-old man in a wheelchair. She made me feel young and whole again. Our conversations served as an escape from the less pleasant parts of my everyday life as a quadriplegic.
At the end of April, Natalie called me from London. “I just landed,” she said, sounding slightly breathless. “We’re heading to the hotel shuttle now.” I pictured her power-walking through the airport in her work heels, holding her phone to her ear as she dragged her bag behind her.
“I hope you’re not too tired,” I replied as I lay in bed, having just woken up, “because in about three hours, you need to be at the O2 Arena to pick up your VIP passes.”
“What?!” she gasped. “No way! For real??”
I smiled. “For real.” I had already told her I’d secured her a pair of tickets to the NKOTBSB concert that night, but I’d waited to surprise her with the VIP part. “You and your friend get to go watch the New Kids’ soundcheck and take a picture with them before the show.”
“Oh my god! You’re the best, Kevin!” In the background, I could hear her hurriedly explaining to people around her – presumably her fellow flight attendants – why she was so excited. “My friend Jared is coming with me tonight, and he can’t wait!”
“Jared?” I repeated, frowning. It was way too early for us to have even talked about being exclusive, but I found myself feeling slightly jealous that she was taking another guy to the show.
“Yeah, he’s on my crew. But don’t worry – he’s gay,” Natalie said quickly, seeming to sense my insecurity. “He actually likes the Backstreet Boys better than the New Kids, but he’s excited to see both.”
“Oh… well, in that case, tell him hi for me,” I said, relaxing.
“I will! Listen, I’d better go now – we’re about to board the shuttle – but I’ll call you later. You’re the best!”
Her words brought a smile back to my face. “Have a great time tonight, and I’ll talk to you later.”
My smile lingered long after we hung up as I scrolled through my social media and waited for Dawn to come in to start my morning routine. The fans who had tagged me on Twitter were full of excitement for the livestream of the London show later that day. “I hope @kevinrichardson makes another surprise appearance!” read one of their tweets. News of my recent trip to London had spread around the internet, along with the picture Brian and I had taken with the two women we’d met at the airport. I’d scrolled past plenty of discussions about the possibility of me returning to the group, trying not to pay attention to the fans who wondered whether I was physically capable of being a Backstreet Boy again. The speculation had died down after I’d failed to appear at the Belfast show on our anniversary, but it had started ramping up again in the week leading up to the London shows. I couldn’t wait to see the reaction once the announcement was finally made official.
That afternoon, Dawn, Mason, and I gathered around the desktop computer in my home office to watch the concert online. As the camera showed the fans waiting inside the O2 Arena, I pictured Natalie somewhere in the crowd, still on cloud nine from her meet-and-greet with the New Kids. She had called me again a couple hours earlier, talking so fast I could barely understand her at first.
“Oh my goodness, Kevin, I can’t believe I just got to hug Joey McIntyre!” she gushed. “My inner eight-year-old’s about to die of happiness! Jared’s looking at me like I’m crazy right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you for hooking us up!”
“You’re welcome,” I’d said, smiling. “Enjoy the show! I’ll be watching from home.”
“I’ll wave to the camera if I see one!” she promised.
I didn’t expect to see her face on the livestream, but it was fun watching the Boys perform again. Brian’s voice was no worse than it had been the previous summer but not much better either, despite the three months of vocal therapy he’d completed before leaving for Europe. Sometimes, he sounded perfect, but at other points in the show, his vocals were weak and wavery. The three other guys sounded great, though, especially compared to the New Kids’ pitchy performance. Howie did a fantastic job covering my solos, while the combination of Nick’s powerful vocals and AJ’s soulful ones gave me goosebumps on the parts of my body I could feel.
After they finished singing “I Want It That Way,” the Boys stayed onstage to talk to the audience. “Are they going to make the announcement now?” Dawn asked as Brian thanked the fans for being there.
I nodded. “I think so.”
“We would not be here if it weren’t for beautiful people just like you,” Brian was saying.
“Hey, Brian,” Nick cut in. “That just led me to something.” He came up alongside Brian. “I was thinking this for a second. You said ‘beautiful people’ like… them, right?” He waved his hand across the crowd.
“Yeah,” said Brian, looking out into the audience. The arena lights had been turned up, allowing him to see further back from the stage.
“The most amazing fans in the world, right?” Nick added as the crowd cheered.
“Yeah!”
“I think we should let them in on a secret that we have.”
Brian grinned. “What… what is that secret?” he asked, giggling as he patted Nick on the shoulder. I could tell they hadn’t rehearsed this part as well as the rest of their usual speech.
“See, the secret-” AJ began, but Nick interrupted him.
“Since we love you guys so much – especially London – that… we’re gonna come back. We wanna let you know, we’re gonna be back in July to record the next Backstreet Boy album this year!”
As the crowd went wild, I leaned forward in anticipation, waiting to see how they’d react to the rest of the announcement.
“Wait, wait, wait…” Brian put his hand on Nick’s shoulder again. “Because there’s two… there’s two parts to that secret, though. You told them the first part. Should I tell them the second part?”
Nick held up his hand to stop him. “Don’t do it, man,” he said, forcing a serious expression onto his face. Of course, it was all an act for the fans.
“Go for it!” Howie urged Brian, who couldn’t hide his smile.
“No!” Nick turned to AJ, who was also nodding his approval. “Here?”
Brian didn’t hold back. “And Kevin is comin’ back!” he called out in a voice that was strong and clear.
The arena erupted in screams, giving me a fresh crop of goosebumps. My throat tightened as my arms tingled, the hairs standing on end.
“You hear all those people cheering?” Dawn asked Mason, smiling over at me. “They’re cheering for your dad.”
Sitting on my lap, Mason looked back at me with a bewildered expression on his face. I knew he didn’t yet fully understand that I had fans all around the world. One day, he would, but for now, they were just faces on a computer screen.
“Yo, Kevin is actually watching this on the website right now,” Howie told the crowd. “So on the count of three, we want you all to say, ‘Hi, Kevin!’ One… two… three!”
“HI, KEVIN!” the crowd chanted.
Mason turned around again, open-mouthed, as my eyes filled with tears. A part of me wished I had stayed in London long enough to be there in person, but even through the computer, I could feel the love from the fans in the audience as well as the ones watching from home. Grateful tears trickled down my face as I watched the New Kids come back onstage for the band introductions.
After AJ finished introducing the band, he and Donnie Wahlberg walked to the front of the stage. “Now, London – and Donnie – there’s one more surprise that I have for you guys,” he said. “Hold on a second.”
“Uh-oh,” I heard one of the guys say as AJ started stripping onstage. He took off his black vest first, followed by his white button-down shirt, to reveal the black t-shirt he was wearing underneath.
“I want you to read what’s on the back of my shirt,” he said. Turning around, he raised his arms over his head as the camera zoomed in on his back. Bedazzled white letters spelled out the words DADDY TO BE. “I’M GONNA BE A DAD!” he screamed as the crowd went wild again.
I couldn’t stop smiling as I watched the guys banter onstage, remembering how happy I had felt when Kristin and I first announced we were expecting Mason. There was nothing like the excitement of looking forward to welcoming your firstborn baby into the world. I wrapped my arms around Mason, giving him a little squeeze from behind. “You’re gonna have a new Backstreet cousin before too long.”
It made me happy to know he would have other kids to play with when we went on tour. Even though he got plenty of social interaction at preschool, I worried he was lonely at home, where he had no one but me and Dawn. I had never known what it was like to be an only child, having grown up with two big brothers. Kristin and I had always planned on having more children, but now that she was gone, I knew I might not be able to give Mason a sibling. But AJ was an only child, and he had turned out all right, I reminded myself.
AJ was the first one to call me after the concert. “Well? Did you watch?” he asked.
“I did! It was awesome. Congratulations again, brother.”
Brian’s voice came on the line next: “Did you hear that crowd reaction when I announced you were coming back? I think it’s safe to say I won our bet, cuz.”
“What bet?”
“The one we made on Thanksgiving. You said nobody would wanna see you perform in a wheelchair, and I bet you they would.”
“That wasn’t an official bet. We never shook on it.”
“Bullshit. I still won,” Brian insisted. “Clearly, the fans want you back.”
I couldn’t argue with that. “Well, you already got what you wanted. I agreed to come back, didn’t I?”
“Yup! And you can’t take it back now.”
“Nope,” I said, smiling. “The cat’s outta the bag.”
Natalie called me next, almost as soon as I’d hung up with the guys. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back to the group?!” she cried.
I chuckled. “I couldn’t. I was sworn to secrecy.”
“Well, you’re sure good at keeping secrets! I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
“It’s a good thing,” I told her. “It means you can trust me.”
“Does it? How do I know you’re not hiding other things from me?”
“Aw, c’mon. Don’t you like surprises?”
“I do when they involve Joey McIntyre,” she admitted. “I had so much fun today. Thanks again for everything!”
“You’re welcome. Are you on your way back to your hotel? I bet you’re beat.”
“Yeah… right now, I’m still riding on a post-concert high, but I’ll probably fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow. I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours now.”
“Get some rest,” I said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Kevin,” she said, even though it was only about five-thirty in the evening for me.
“Goodnight, Natalie.”
After I got off the phone with her, I rolled into the kitchen to help Dawn get dinner ready, still riding a post-concert high of my own. As I waited for the pot of water on the stove to start boiling, I scrolled through my Twitter feed on my phone, smiling as I read my mentions.
Backstreet Boys @backstreetboys
Now everything is back to normal…welcome back at @kevinrichardson
Jen @TheBestestJen
Wahoo! Congrats to @skulleeroz & @rochelle_deanna on their pregnancy! And HOORAY for @kevinrichardson for coming back!!
Emily K @emily_michele84
@kevinrichardson Oh my god, Kev’s back again!
Franzi @miss_ftanzi
Welcome back @kevinrichardson
Rachel @rachel2821
@kevinrichardson Welcome back!!!!
MauTim Lipstick @MauTimLipstick
@kevinrichardson It’s about time you come back!!!! We’ve missed you!!!!! Much love!!!!
On and on they went – hundreds of similar reactions from fans around the world.
“What are you grinning at?” Dawn asked. I glanced up to find her watching me with a little smirk on her face as she chopped up a head of lettuce. “Has Natalie been texting you?”
“No… just reading tweets from fans.” I held out my phone to show her my feed. “I guess Brian was right: they really are happy to have me back.”
“Well, of course they are! I may be more of a rock girl, but even I know a boy band’s supposed to have five members,” she replied matter-of-factly.
A mixture of joy, relief, and excitement began to bubble inside me like the hot water in my pot. Over the last four years, I had almost forgotten what true happiness felt like. It had been a long time since I’d had anything this big in my life to look forward to, but as I sat on the brink of relaunching my music career and growing my budding relationship with Natalie, I found myself looking forward to the future with hope and anticipation instead of dwelling on the past while I wallowed in grief and self-pity. Big things were finally happening for me again, and I couldn’t wait to see what the future held.
What an amazing month April has been, I thought, using my teeth to tear the top off a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese – Mason’s favorite meal. And this is only the beginning…
***
Another great chapter!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next!!
Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it!