It was getting dark by the time we made it to Nashville, almost two hours later than planned. By the time we parked the truck and checked into our hotel, I was both physically and emotionally exhausted.
“I look like a drowned rat,” Natalie complained as she stood in front of the full-length mirror, finger-combing her damp, frizzy hair. “Do you care if we just order room service for dinner tonight?”
“You read my mind,” I replied, smiling at her reflection. “I don’t feel like going out again either.”
She let out a sigh of relief as she flopped backward onto the king-sized bed, stretching her arms and legs out like a starfish. “I’d be fine if we never left this room!”
I laughed as I looked around our large suite. “It is a pretty great room, huh?” I’d been lucky to find a four-star hotel with accommodations that were both luxurious and fully accessible. The bedroom had hardwood floors and huge windows that overlooked downtown Nashville. It was elegantly furnished with a bed that was low enough for a lateral transfer, a large desk, a table with two chairs, and a sofa in the small living area. The marble bathroom had both a roll-in shower and a soaking tub with plenty of room for two people.
“Think we could get you in and out of that tub?” Natalie asked when she saw it, arching one eyebrow at me. “It’d be fun to take a hot bath together after dinner. Doesn’t that sound nice after the day we’ve had?”
“It does…” I said slowly, picturing the two of us cuddling in warm, sudsy water the same way Kristin and I used to in the clawfoot bathtub we’d had in our old California home, with scented candles burning and glasses of wine in our hands. It would be so relaxing… and romantic…
But, then, I started to think about everything that could go wrong with that scenario in my current reality: I could slip and fall during the transfer, cracking my head open on the porcelain edge or marble floor. There was a high probability of me dropping my wine glass, which would also shatter upon impact with either hard surface. And even if I did manage to get into the tub, there was no guarantee that I could get back out. How embarrassing would it be if some poor, unsuspecting hotel employee had to help Natalie hoist my wet, naked body out of the bathtub?
“But I dunno, babe. I don’t want either of us to get hurt… or humiliated,” I added.
Her face fell. “Aw, don’t be such a Debbie Downer!”
“I’m not being a Debbie Downer. I’m being a Richard Realist,” I replied, smirking.
“Okay, so a Dick Downer, then,” she shot back with an impish grin.
I laughed. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I? Or, well, rolled.”
“Sure did!” she said, her eyes shining.
It was hard to resist her when she was so charming. That was why, after we finished the food we’d ordered, I found myself sitting naked on my portable shower chair next to the tub, which was filled with warm, bubbly water.
Natalie rolled up the sleeve of the plush, white bathrobe she’d put on before reaching her hand into the water to test the temperature. “I think it’s just right,” she proclaimed. “Not too hot. Not too cold. What do you think?”
Hooking my left arm behind the armrest of my chair, I leaned forward and lowered my right hand into the water until I could feel it on the inside of my wrist. It was warm but not scalding. “Feels good to me, Goldilocks,” I agreed.
Natalie grinned as she pulled back her long, brown hair, piling it on top of her head in a messy bun. Then she draped a folded towel over one of the tall sides of the tub, giving me a padded place to perch while she helped me into the water. “I’m sure glad the boot is gone,” she commented as she carefully pulled my feet off the foot plates, making sure they were firmly planted on the floor before we attempted a pivot transfer from my chair to the edge of the tub.
I nodded. “Me too.” I’d gone to the orthopedist’s office the previous week for one last X-ray of my foot, which showed that the fracture from my bowling mishap in Florida had fully healed. “I just hope I’m not about to break another bone.”
“Babe! Don’t say that!” Natalie hissed, her eyes widening. “Have some faith in me, would ya?”
I flashed her a tight-lipped smile. “I wouldn’t be sitting here in my birthday suit if I didn’t have faith in you. Just… please don’t let me fall.”
“I won’t!” she insisted as she shed her robe, hanging it over a hook on the wall. “I’ve got you.” Squatting in front of me, she leaned me forward and wrapped her arms around me. “Ready? One… two… three.” On three, I pushed off from the armrests of my chair as she lifted, hoisting me up and over to the edge of the tub in one quick, twisting motion. “Okay,” she said, letting out her breath in a sigh of relief. “We’re halfway there.”
“Livin’ on a prayer,” I added, deadpan, placing both hands on the narrow rim to help myself stay balanced.
Natalie laughed. “Take my hand, and we’ll make it, I swear,” she sang as she stepped gracefully into the tub, still hanging onto me with one hand.
“Whoa-oh! Livin’ on a prayer,” I joined in as she wrapped both arms around me from behind and tipped me back, sliding me slowly off the edge of the tub. It would have been a scary sensation, falling backward into the water, but I could feel her body beneath mine, cushioning me, and see her hands on my chest, holding me tightly, and I knew that she had my back, both figuratively and literally. As she eased me into the bath, I reached out to lift my spasming legs over the rim. They began to relax once I lowered them into the warm water.
Natalie pressed her back against one end of the tub and bent her knees, letting me sit between her legs and lean against her chest so I was supported on all sides. “How’s that feel?” she asked, loosening her grip on me.
“Good. Really good,” I admitted as I rested my head between her breasts. They felt like two small pillows, soft yet firm. When I turned my head to the side, nuzzling the left one with my cheek, I could hear her heart beating fast from the physical effort it had taken her to hoist me into the tub. She was breathing harder than usual, too, her chest rising and falling rapidly beneath me. “You having any regrets?”
“No, of course not. This is nice, isn’t it?” she replied as she ran her hand through my hair, letting her long fingernails graze my scalp.
“Uh-huh.” I closed my eyes, savoring the pleasant sensation as I listened to the steady hum of her heartbeat. After the scare we’d had on the road that afternoon, it was a reassuring sound. “I’m so happy to have you here with me, baby,” I murmured, burrowing my face further into her left breast. “Thanks for rearranging your schedule to make it work.”
“I’m happy to be here with you.” Her voice was magnified in my ear as it rose up from her chest. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome. I knew you wouldn’t want me to bring Dawn.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. I winced, inwardly cursing myself for opening up that can of worms again.
To my relief, Natalie shut it right down. Taking my face between her hands, she gently tipped my head back toward her. “Let’s not talk about Dawn tonight,” she whispered, leaning over to press her lips to my forehead. “I want tonight to be all about us.”
“Agreed,” I replied quickly, reaching up to caress her cheek. In my mind, it seemed like a sensual, romantic move to make, but, in reality, I just felt clumsy and inept as I dragged my curled hand down the side of her face. I wished I could feel her soft, warm skin beneath my fingertips, but it was like trying to touch her through a pair of thick, woolen mittens. I couldn’t imagine she got much pleasure from me kneading her face with my knuckles either, so I lowered my hand to her leg instead, resting it on her thigh.
I truly intended to devote my full attention to Natalie, but as we relaxed in the tub together, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to another woman – not Dawn this time, but Kristin. My late wife had been lurking in the depths of my mind ever since my emotional breakdown in the truck earlier, but now she floated to the surface. This time, I pictured her face the way it had looked in life rather than in death.
The last time I could remember taking a romantic bubble bath like this with Kristin, she had been almost nine months pregnant. She had loved soaking in the tub throughout her pregnancy; the warm water had helped her relax, soothing the sore muscles in her back and reducing the swelling in her feet and ankles. By the last couple months, she’d lost most of her libido, claiming that she felt too fat to make love to me and was worried about hurting the baby. But she would still let me join her in the bathtub, where the soapy water would cover the parts of her body she felt self-conscious about, hiding her stretch marks and cellulite. I would sit behind her and rub her back and shoulders, wash her hair, and hold her in my arms, resting my hands on her round belly in hopes of feeling the baby kick. Kristin may have been insecure about her changing body, but I’d found her voluptuous new figure irresistibly sexy. She had never looked more feminine than she did as an expectant mother… and, as a father-to-be, I had never felt more masculine.
But it was different with Natalie. As much as I tried not to compare her to Kristin, I couldn’t help comparing myself to the way I’d once been. Looking down at my own naked body, I finally knew how Kristin must have felt back then. From the neck down, I looked nothing like the virile man who had made a life with her. I didn’t feel much like him either. My sex drive had disappeared after I lost all sensation below the belt, and the day’s events had left me feeling more emasculated than ever. Despite the physical comfort it brought me, I found that lying in Natalie’s arms while she hugged me to her chest, kissed my face, and played with my hair made me feel even less like her man and more like her child.
“Hey, babe?” I said suddenly, clearing my throat. “You think we could try switching places? I’d love to be able to see and touch more of you.”
“Yeah, of course!” Natalie sat up straighter, pulling me into an upright position. I clung to the side of the tub for support as she squeezed past me. Then she pushed my back up against the end of the tub and settled herself between my legs to keep me from sliding forward on the slippery bottom. “Is that better?” she asked, turning onto her side so that she could still see my face.
“Much.” I wrapped my arm around her, running my hand along her hip. She reclined against me, resting her head on my shoulder, and placed her hand on my chest, tracing my collarbones with her fingertips. I could tell she was trying to focus on the areas where I had full sensation, which I appreciated. But as I looked down at our legs intertwined beneath the bubbly surface of the water, I desperately wished I could feel what was happening below. I wanted to play footsie with her, make her giggle by tickling the bottom of her feet with my toes. I wanted to caress and squeeze her calves, which were well-defined from years of walking up and down airplane aisles in heels. I wanted to dip my fingers between her thighs and feel her warmth as I slipped them inside her. I wanted to pleasure her, but I worried my ham-fisted approach would only cause her pain. Afraid of hurting her, I stayed above the waist, where I could at least see what I was doing. I brought my hand back up to her breast and stroked it until her nipple stood erect and goosebumps erupted on her skin. “You getting cold?” I asked her with a smile.
“Not yet. You’re keeping me nice and warm,” she replied, snuggling into my chest. “How about you?”
“I’m okay for now.” I knew it was only a matter of time before the water cooled to the point where I could no longer maintain a healthy body temperature and would have to get out of the tub or risk hypothermia. But that was probably for the best – if I stayed in that position for too long, I would also be putting myself at risk for pressure injuries. I hated that I couldn’t even take a bath without worrying about the potential consequences, but that was the reality of my situation.
“Are you really okay?” Natalie asked, rubbing my shoulder. “You scared me earlier in the truck.”
Remembering the sound of her scream, I took a shuddering breath and let it out with a sigh. “I’m sorry. Whatever the hell that was we hit… I didn’t see it in time.”
“I know, babe, but I’m talking about the way you reacted afterward, when we were sitting on the side of the road. I’ve never seen you like that before.” She looked up at me, her eyes full of sympathy. “You were thinking about what happened to Kristin, weren’t you?”
I nodded. No point in trying to deny it. “I know I overreacted. It was just a flat tire – not that big of a deal – and neither one of us was hurt, thank God. But it scared the crap out of me,” I admitted. “It brought back this flood of memories of being in the car after the crash.”
“Of course, it did. I can’t even imagine what you went through that night, Kevin. That must have been awful for you, having to relive it,” Natalie said softly. “I’m sorry for bringing it up again now. I just wanted to make sure you were really all right.”
“I am – as ‘all right’ as I’m ever gonna be, anyway,” I replied with a shrug. “It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to get to the point where I can honestly say that, trust me… but, most of the time, I really am fine. Then, all of a sudden, something will pop up out of nowhere and take me right back to the day my whole world turned upside down… and I feel like I’m falling apart all over again.” I paused, letting out a humorless chuckle as I pictured the piece of debris in the road. “What happened today was actually a perfect representation of just how fast and hard it can hit – figuratively and literally.”
“I know,” Natalie murmured. “I mean, I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to go through something as traumatic as you did, but I do know what it’s like to lose a loved one. My grandparents have been gone for a few years now, but every once in a while, something will remind me of them – a picture, a song, a scene in a movie, sometimes even a commercial on TV – and before I know it, I’ve got tears pouring down my cheeks as if I’d just found out they had passed away. It’s weird the way grief works, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, but even though I appreciated her attempt to empathize with me, I knew there was no way she could fully understand how I felt. Losing grandparents wasn’t the same as being widowed at thirty-six. I hadn’t just lost my wife; I’d lost the future I had envisioned for us. As much as I missed Kristin herself, I also mourned the life we could have had together, a life that had been cruelly cut short. Clearing my throat, I added, “Thanks for talking me through it… and for listening. It helped to have you there with me.”
“Of course,” she whispered. The water sloshed against the sides of the tub as she sat up and turned around to face me.
The moment she changed positions, I felt myself start to slide, my upper body slipping beneath the bubbles like a sinking ship plunging into the sea. I flung both arms out to the side, splashing water everywhere as I fought to pull myself back up, but Natalie reached out and caught me.
“C’mere,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me close to her chest. “I’ve got you.”
I leaned into her embrace, clinging tightly to her until I regained my balance and felt my body begin to relax against hers. Even then, I didn’t let go, merely loosened my grip on her shoulders.
We stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, until the water turned tepid and most of the bubbles had burst. When my body began to shiver, Natalie said, “We’d better get you out of here, babe.”
“Good idea,” I said through chattering teeth.
Getting me out of the tub turned out to be a lot harder than getting me in. Gravity worked against us as Natalie struggled to hoist me up out of the water. It didn’t help that we were both wet and slippery. I tried to help her as much as I could, but without the use of my triceps, it was hard for me to lift my own body weight. As much as I’d hated it in rehab, I wished we had a Hoyer lift. It would have come in handy that night, saving Natalie from having to do all the heavy lifting. I worried she was going to strain her back. But, somehow, she managed to boost me onto the edge of the tub again.
By the time she had finished transferring me back to my chair, we were both out of breath, and the bathroom floor was covered with water. “Be careful,” I warned Natalie as she wrapped a towel around me, rubbing my arms to warm me up. “I don’t want you to slip and fall.”
“We sure made a mess, didn’t we?” she said, laughing as she looked around the room. She used a second towel to dry off my legs and feet before she went to work on the floor.
“Yeah, we did.” I felt bad that I couldn’t do more to help her clean up. “Want me to call the front desk and ask for more towels?”
“Nah, that’s okay. We can make do with what we have.” She took off the towel she’d been wearing and reached for her robe, wrapping it around herself. As the tub drained, she picked up the sopping wet bath mat and draped it over the side to dry, putting her used towel down in its place to absorb the puddle of water that was left behind.
“So, what do you think?” I asked as I watched her wipe up the floor. “Was the bath worth it?”
“It was for me,” she replied, turning to face me. “How about for you?”
I hesitated, not wanting to seem ungrateful after all she had gone through to get me in and out again. “It was nice, but, if I’m being honest, I prefer the shower. It’s a lot less hassle.”
Natalie nodded. “I know what you mean. Next time, we can just take a hot shower together. But thanks for giving the bathtub a try for me.”
“Anything for you, baby.” I tipped my head back and tapped my lips until she leaned in to kiss them.
While she finished cleaning up the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and emptied my bladder. “You know what else is a problem with taking a bath?” I asked, frowning as I looked down at myself. “Shrinkage.”
Natalie laughed. “Well, we can fix that problem pretty easily now that we’ve got a way to pump… you up!” She said the last part in an exaggerated Austrian accent, clapping her hands together and pointing to me in a perfect impression of “Hans and Franz” from Saturday Night Live. It had been cute and funny the first time she’d done it, shortly after my last trip to the urologist’s office, but now, it made me cringe rather than smile.
Of course, I knew what she was referring to: the penis pump my urologist had prescribed at my most recent appointment, the one I’d made after overdosing on Viagra back in August. After admonishing me for taking more than the prescribed amount, Dr. Brooks had suggested the pump as a more effective alternative and encouraged me to try it. It was essentially a vacuum tube that went over my penis. When the air was pumped out of the tube, it created suction that pulled more blood into the tissue, causing it to swell. Natalie and I had tried it a few times, and while it worked better than the little blue pill alone at helping me get and stay hard, I hated having to use it. It didn’t hurt, since I couldn’t feel anything that far down, but the cock ring that went on before the tube came off to keep the blood from flowing back out caused enough discomfort to trigger my AD. The doctor had warned me not to leave the ring on for longer than half an hour, but even though I’d followed his advice, I always went to bed with a massive headache after using it.
At Natalie’s insistence, we had packed the pump, but after the day we’d had, the last thing I felt like doing was putting my dick inside it. It made me feel like even less of a man to have to rely on a piece of medical equipment to maintain an erection. “Honestly, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not mess with that tonight,” I told her, making a face. “I’m tired, and I’m cold, and I just wanna cuddle under the covers with you and get warm.”
If Natalie was disappointed, she didn’t let it show. “Of course, babe,” she said, giving me a compassionate smile. “It’s been a long day. I bet you’re exhausted from the drive.”
I nodded. The hot bath had helped to ease the tension in my shoulders, but my arms felt heavy as I finished cathing and cleaned up after myself. I couldn’t wait to collapse into bed.
Natalie had cranked up the heat in our room, so it felt toasty warm by the time she pushed me out of the bathroom. “How about a massage?” she offered as she turned down the bed. “I brought some really nice, moisturizing body lotion I could rub all over you.” She glanced back over her shoulder at me, her eyebrows suggestively.
“Now you’re talking,” I replied with a grin. “That sounds amazing.”
With her help, I transferred to the bed. Natalie positioned me on my stomach, placing pillows under my chest, thighs, and ankles before she pulled the covers up over my legs, leaving my bare back exposed. Then she climbed onto the bed, carefully straddling me. “You know, I think I would have made a good massage therapist,” she said as she squirted some lotion into her hands, rubbing them together to warm it up before she applied it to my back. “I love doing this kind of thing.”
“Well, if you ever decide to change careers, I’ll be your first client,” I vowed, closing my eyes as she worked her way up my back, concentrating on the areas where I had sensation. “That feels incredible.”
“Aw, thanks!”
“No, thank you.” I let out a low groan of pleasure as she gripped my shoulders, massaging my sore muscles with her fingers. “So, what made you wanna be a flight attendant, anyway?” I said, realizing it was a question I had never asked her before.
“I wanted to see the world,” she answered. “With my dad being a farmer, we didn’t get to take many summer vacations when I was a kid, since that was the growing season. Most of the trips we did take were within driving range, so whenever we got to fly somewhere for a real vacation, it was a big deal.”
“I get that,” I said, thinking of my own dad, whose work as a camp director meant that my family had also spent most summers close to home.
“As a little girl, I loved everything about flying – feeling the plane lift off the runway during take-off, looking out the window and watching everything get smaller and smaller as we gained altitude, being above the clouds and catching glimpses of the ground below. I always thought it looked like a patchwork quilt, made from different shades of green and brown,” she added with a giggle.
“Me too,” I said, smiling. I loved hearing the passion in her voice when she talked about flying. Although commercial air travel had long since lost its magic for me, I still enjoyed the feeling of flying and looked forward to any opportunity to ride in a small, private plane.
“I loved the little bags of peanuts they used to give you on planes,” Natalie continued. “And the complimentary drinks. When I was a kid, it felt like the height of luxury to be sipping a cup of Sprite thirty thousand feet in the air.”
It was my turn to laugh.
“I would watch the flight attendants push the beverage cart down the aisle, pouring people’s drinks,” she went on, “and I’d think, That must be the best job in the world. They got to fly on a plane every day, meet all kinds of different people, and see places all over the world. Plus, they were always so nice and so pretty with their perfect hair and makeup, their neatly-pressed uniforms and high heels. I wanted to grow up to be just like them.”
“Mission accomplished,” I said, remembering how she had mesmerized me the day we’d met. I’d spent a large part of the long flight to London admiring the way she looked in her uniform as I watched her work. Just like with Kristin, I’d felt an instant spark of attraction to her, although I’d never imagined it would ignite into a full-blown relationship.
“You’re sweet.”
I could hear the smile in her voice as she went on rubbing my neck and shoulders, relieving the rest of the tension that had developed during the drive. I felt so much more relaxed than I had a few hours ago. My upper body had gone as limp as my lower half, my muscles like putty in her hands. I could have laid like that and listened to her talk all night.
“Anyway, when I finished high school, I applied to the few regional airlines that would actually hire eighteen-year-old flight attendants, but I didn’t even get called for an interview. Even back then, cabin crew positions were hard to come by; it’s always been super competitive. So I moved to the coast and worked at a bed-and-breakfast for a couple years to get some hospitality experience while I took classes at the local community college. I didn’t really know what else I wanted to do with my life, careerwise. I thought about nursing, but… well, you’ve seen how I react to the sight of blood.”
I chuckled, remembering how she had nearly passed out the night I’d cracked my head open in her hotel room. “Yeah… but you would’ve made a great nurse otherwise,” I told her. “You have such a nurturing personality and a sweet bedside manner. You’re good at taking care of people.”
“Aww… thanks, babe!” I felt her fingertips trace the scar on the back of my neck, sending shivers up and down my spine. “But I think I’m better suited to caring for passengers than patients.”
“So, what did you major in, if not nursing?” Even after eight months of knowing Natalie, I was still learning new information about her. “I mean, you don’t need a degree to be a flight attendant, right?”
“No, just a high school diploma, but I ended up getting my associate’s degree in business as a back-up plan in case I couldn’t find a flight attendant position. That turned out to be a pretty smart decision, considering 9/11 happened about three months before my twentieth birthday.”
“Damn…” My eyes flew open. The mere mention of that day still made me flinch – as did the fact that my girlfriend had been a teenager when the Twin Towers fell, while I was a thirty-year-old man with a wife and a career. It made our ten-year age gap feel even wider. “Did that make you second guess becoming a flight attendant?” I wondered.
“Not really,” Natalie replied, her nails grazing the nape of my neck. “I mean, sure, it freaked me out at first, but, ultimately, it just made me respect the profession even more. The flight attendants who lost their lives that day were heroes who died trying to defend the planes and protect their passengers.”
“Absolutely,” I said, nodding into my pillow. I had goosebumps, but I wasn’t sure whether it was her touch or the topic that had triggered them. Probably some combination of the two. Unexpected tears sprang to my eyes as I found myself imagining what it must have felt like for the families of those flight attendants to lose their loved ones in such a horrific way. As a frequent flier myself, I had never worried too much about my girlfriend spending so much time in the air. Flying was safer than driving, I told myself. But September 11th served as a grim reminder of just how dangerous and deadly it could be. Having already lost my wife in a car accident, I couldn’t bear the thought of another woman I loved dying as the result of a plane crash.
“Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to apply to the major airlines, the entire industry was in turmoil.” Blinking away my tears and burying my morbid thoughts in the back of my mind, I forced myself to focus on what Natalie was saying. “None of the legacy carriers were hiring, so I started looking into the low-budget airlines and landed a job with JetBlue, which was just starting out at the time. I flew with them for five years and gained enough experience to get my foot in the door at Delta once they emerged from bankruptcy and finally ended their hiring freeze.”
“Wow, yeah… I forgot about all that. It must have been hard to get hired there, huh?”
“Harder than getting into Harvard,” she replied, her hands moving up into my hair. “Literally, I’ve heard the acceptance rate is lower. The last time Delta recruited flight attendants, they had over a hundred thousand people apply for just a thousand positions. Less than one percent of them got hired.”
“That’s crazy! I didn’t realize it was so competitive.” I closed my eyes again, enjoying the sensation of her fingers raking through my thick hair. It still felt better than sex, post spinal cord injury. “With those odds, you might as well have just applied to Harvard.”
“Nah… I’m not Ivy League material,” Natalie said as she massaged my scalp. “Honestly, school was never easy for me. I got decent grades, but I had to work really hard for them. And now that I’ve got a good job doing something I love, I have no need or desire to continue with higher education.”
“I kinda wish I had gone to college,” I admitted. “It wasn’t in the cards for me when I graduated high school – I was either gonna join the Air Force or move to Florida to pursue a music career. But it would have been smart to have some kind of degree to fall back on. If it hadn’t been for the money and connections I’d made in the music business, I don’t know what I would have done after the accident.”
“What would you have done if you weren’t a Backstreet Boy?” she asked. “Before the accident, I mean.”
“Probably become a pilot,” I said with a wistful sigh. “Add that to the list of things I’ll never be able to do now. But, hey, at least I can still sing.”
“Never say never. I don’t know why you couldn’t learn to fly a plane with hand controls, similar to how you drive your truck,” Natalie replied thoughtfully, removing her hands from my head.
It sounded like a pipe dream to me. “Have you ever had a paralyzed pilot on one of your planes?” I asked her, wondering if the FAA would even allow a disabled pilot to fly.
“No… but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.” The mattress shifted as she changed positions, shedding her robe before she lay down beside me. She rolled onto her side and snuggled close to me, pulling the covers up over us both. “I’m picturing a parallel universe where you did join the Air Force and became a pilot instead of moving to Florida to become a Backstreet Boy.” She picked my hand up off the pillow and laced her fingers through mine. “Maybe you would have met me first, instead of Kristin… and you wouldn’t have been in that car on that road at that precise moment when that woman crashed into you.”
I swallowed hard as I considered this prospect. If I could somehow travel back in time and change the entire trajectory of my life by choosing the Air Force over Orlando, would I? In the alternate timeline Natalie was talking about, I probably never would have met Kristin… or Nick, Howie, and AJ. I probably wouldn’t be rich or famous either. But I also probably wouldn’t be paralyzed. Or maybe I would be. What if I was destined to end up this way, no matter which path I went down?
“No… but I might have gotten injured in Iraq… or Afghanistan,” I said slowly. “I may never have met you at all.”
“That’s a good point,” Natalie admitted. “Who knows what would have happened in another life? It’s like that Ashton Kutcher movie, The Butterfly Effect, where one change changes everything… and usually not for the better.”
I nodded. “Do I wish I could go back and change what happened to me and Kristin? Of course. But I can’t. All I can do is keep moving forward. Kristin will always be an important part of my past… but my future is with you.”
Natalie smiled, her eyes shining in the dim light of the single lamp she’d left on. She lifted my hand to her lips and lightly kissed each knuckle. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too. Now kiss me where I can feel it, would ya?” I replied with a teasing grin.
Laughing, she let go of my hand and leaned closer, her lips brushing over every part of my face they could reach – first my forehead, then my temple, followed by my cheek, my chin, and my nose – before they finally landed on my lips. I closed my eyes as she slipped her tongue into my mouth, kissing me long and deep.
“There,” I said breathlessly when she finally came up for air. “That’s more like it.”
***