Chapter 26

Nick

I woke up with a horrible headache. “Ugh,” I groaned, squinting as I opened my eyes. The light was way too bright.

The light was way too bright.

I sat up quickly, the covers falling off my bare chest, and looked around. I didn’t recognize the room – or the naked girl lying next to me.

Her eyes were closed, but she must have been faking sleep because they conveniently fluttered open when she felt me stir. “Good morning, Nick,” she said in a low, sexy voice, her pink lips curving into a little smile.

“Morning,” I replied, realizing I couldn’t remember her name. “What time is it?”

Hugging the covers to her chest, she turned her head toward the alarm clock on the table next to her side of the bed. “Almost ten.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Shit.” I had promised AJ I would be home by six to help take care of Kevin and Mason. I was four hours late, and he was probably pissed. “I gotta get going.”

The smile faded from her lips. “Right now? Why?”

I didn’t feel like explaining. “‘Cause I’m running late,” I said and left it at that.

“Late for what?” she pressed, but I didn’t elaborate.

I rolled out of bed and rushed around the room naked, gathering my clothes. I noticed a used condom on the floor next to my underwear. Well, at least I did one thing right, I thought with relief. I found my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. I expected it to be full of angry messages from AJ, but there were no new voicemails or unread texts. That was strange, but I didn’t think much more about it as I hurriedly got dressed.

“Won’t you at least stay for some breakfast?” the girl begged with a whiny tone.

“Can’t, sorry,” I said, plopping down on the edge of her bed to pull on my socks. “Can you call me a cab or something?”

She made a disgusted noise. “Call one yourself!”

“I don’t know where to have it pick me up,” I admitted. “What’s your address?”

“Ugh, fine!” She picked up her phone, and a few moments later, I heard her talking to the taxi company.

“Thanks,” I said when she hung up. I finished lacing my left shoe and stood up. “Well, I guess I’d better go wait for it outside. Thanks for a great night.”

She gave me an incredulous look. “Aren’t you even going to ask for my number?”

No, I thought, but in an effort to be polite, I unlocked my phone and pulled up my contacts. “Here,” I said, handing it to her. “Put it in.”

She added her number and handed it back. “Call me?”

“Sure,” I lied. “See ya.”

Once I was outside her apartment building, waiting for my cab, I looked at the new entry in my contacts. Hayley. I promptly deleted her number and put the phone back in my pocket.

The cab came, and I climbed inside. “Where to?” the driver asked. I couldn’t remember Kevin’s house number, but I knew the street and was able to navigate the way there once I figured out what part of L.A. we were in.

I guess I should have been ashamed of the fact that I’d woken up in bed with a random woman, not knowing where I was or remembering what had happened the night before. But it wasn’t the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. I hoped AJ and Kevin wouldn’t give me too much crap when I got home.

Wishful thinking. I took a deep breath as the cab pulled up in front of Kevin’s gate, bracing myself to face the wrath of AJ that surely awaited me. I paid the driver, punched in the code to open the gate, and did the walk of shame up the driveway with my wrinkled blazer draped over one arm.

As I let myself into the house, I heard Mason crying. It sounded like it was coming from the second floor. I followed the sound upstairs to Mason’s room. The door was closed, which was a little weird for this time of day. It was too early for naptime, but too late for Mason to still be in bed. The kid usually woke up at the crack of dawn. I would know; I was usually the one to get up with him. I assumed AJ was in there changing his diaper, but when I stood outside the door and listened, I didn’t hear anyone else. I opened the door a crack and peeked in.

At first, I couldn’t see anything; it was like a black cave inside. As I pushed the door open wider to let in more light from the hall, I realized the room-darkening curtains were still closed. One of the first things I did whenever I went in to get Mason in the morning was open them. This time, I turned on the overhead light instead.

Mason was standing in his crib, clinging to the railing. When he recognized me, he let go and reached for me with both hands. My heart broke for him. “Hey there, buddy,” I said softly, rushing over to scoop him up out of the crib. His face was red and streaked with tears, and he was still in his pajamas. His sagging diaper was soaked. “What are you still doing in here, huh? Where’s everyone else?”

Of course, he couldn’t answer me, but he babbled and hiccupped as I lay him down on his changing table and stripped off his wet pajamas. By the time I had put a dry diaper and clean clothes on him, he had stopped crying.

“There you go,” I said, picking him up again. “I bet that feels so much better. Let’s go find your Uncle AJ.” I kept my voice calm, but inside, I was beyond pissed. I couldn’t believe AJ would leave a little kid crying in his crib for hours just to teach me a lesson. Kevin was going to be furious with us both when he found out.

I carried Mason into the hall, heading for AJ’s room, but then I heard a hoarse cry: “Nick?” My heart leapt into my throat when I realized it was coming from Kevin’s room at the opposite end of the hall. I turned and hurried down to his closed door. I didn’t bother knocking, just threw it open and burst right in.

The smell hit me before I even made it through the entryway of the master suite. It stunk like a sewer in there. At first, I thought there must have been a plumbing issue in the bathroom. Then I turned on the light, and my heart sank. Kevin was still lying in bed, his body twisted into an uncomfortable-looking position, half on his back, half on his side. The covers were bunched up at his feet, leaving the rest of him exposed. I could see a wet, brown stain soaking into the bottom sheet underneath him. With horror, I realized the “plumbing issue” had happened inside his body instead. “Oh my god… Kevin!”

I rushed toward the bed, but when Kevin saw me carrying Mason, he held up his hand to wave me away. “Get him out of here,” he croaked, his face contorted into an expression of pure anguish, his eyes full of tears. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

Caught off-guard, I took a step backwards. “O-okay. Uh… I’ll be right back.” I hated to leave him like that, but I wanted to respect his wishes, so I hurried out of his room and back down the hall to AJ’s, my heart racing even faster than my feet. I pounded on his door, but didn’t wait for an answer before I burst in.

I flipped on the light to find AJ blinking blearily at me as he sat up in bed. “What the fuck, Nick?” he grumbled, taking out his earbuds.

“What the fuck is right!” I shouted back as I stormed over to him. “I just got home to find Mason crying in his crib and Kevin calling for me from his bed, where he’s been lying in his own shit for god knows how long!”

AJ’s eyes widened. “What?! But…” He looked over at the alarm clock on his bedside table. “It’s ten-thirty! I thought the caregiver was supposed to come at nine.”

“Well, apparently he didn’t because Kevin’s still in bed. Couldn’t you hear him calling for help?! Or Mason crying?!”

AJ’s eyes narrowed as he frowned. “No, I was asleep at the other end of the house. What the fuck were you doing? Why couldn’t you hear them?”

I felt my face heat up as I realized this was as much my fault as anyone else’s. “I wasn’t here,” I admitted.

“Well, where the hell were you? You were supposed to be home by six to help take care of them.”

“I know.” There was no use trying to lie or make up an excuse. One way or another, the truth would come out eventually. “I went home with a woman I met at the club, and we must have overslept. I’m sorry.”

AJ rolled his eyes. “Nice going, Nick. I should have known not to trust you.”

I felt terrible for letting everyone down, but it wasn’t just my fault. “Well, what about the fucking caregiver? Why didn’t that kid Erik come?”

“I dunno, ‘cause he’s an unreliable idiot like you? If you had been here, you would have known he was late and could have called him to find out why.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m gonna go get Kevin cleaned up. You take care of Mason.” I set the baby down on AJ’s bed. “I already changed his diaper, but he’s gotta be hungry. Go downstairs and feed him some breakfast.”

I didn’t wait for an answer from AJ. It wasn’t a question, anyway; it was a command. I was as angry at him as he was at me. How could he have slept through both a baby and a full-grown man crying for help? I thought with disbelief as I stomped back up the hall to Kevin’s room. I didn’t want to go in there again, but I knew I had to. There was no one else to take care of him.

The smell got stronger as I approached his bed, but I pretended not to notice it. Poor Kevin probably felt humiliated enough as it was. He looked absolutely miserable lying in a pile of shit, his greasy hair plastered to his scalp, his flushed face streaked with snot, sweat, and tears. I froze as I stood next to the bed, not sure what to do first. My stomach was churning with nausea, as everything I’d put in it the previous night threatened to come back up.

“God, Kev, I’m so sorry,” I managed to get out without gagging. “I just got home. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he said quietly, his voice still scratchy and weak. I wondered how long he had shouted for help before he finally gave up. “Can you hand me my phone? I need to call Erik.”

“That can wait. We should get you cleaned up first.”

He blinked at me in disbelief. “You don’t have to do that, Nick. If Erik’s not coming, I can call Greg and see-”

“Don’t be stupid,” I interrupted him. “I’m not gonna let you stay like this while we wait for one of them to come over. I’ve got this. Come on, bro…” I held my breath as I bent over the bed, sliding my hands through his armpits and behind his back. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I pulled him up into a sitting position. His whole body was trembling, his legs twitching with spasms like they had touched a live wire. Sweat was dripping down his back – his sheets and pillow were drenched with it – yet his arms had broken out in goosebumps. “Are you okay?” I asked him hesitantly.

He shook his head. “Autonomic dysreflexia. It’s my body’s way of responding to discomfort I can’t feel,” he mumbled. “It makes me sweat like this and raises my blood pressure. My head is pounding right now, so it’s probably really high.”

I stared at him in fear, my own headache long forgotten. “Do I need to call 911?” I was starting to panic, but Kevin stayed calm.

“No… it’ll go away once we figure out what’s causing it and fix the problem. I probably just need to change positions and empty my bladder – my night bag must be pretty full by now.”

“Yeah, it is,” I confirmed, looking at the bulging catheter bag hanging from his bed rail. Another wave of nausea rolled over me as I realized its contents were the same color as the beer I’d consumed the night before. I was never drinking again.

Meanwhile, Kevin must have been desperately thirsty. “Can you hand me my water first?” he croaked. He kept a water bottle with a built-in straw on his bedside table, but it must have been too far for him to reach from the position I’d found him in. I got it for him, and he chugged water while I clamped the catheter so I could disconnect the bag and drain it into the toilet.

“Are you feeling any better?” I asked when I came back.

He shook his head again. “I can’t breathe.”

My heart leapt into my throat. “I’m calling 911,” I said, reaching for my phone in my back pocket.

“No, wait! I think my lungs are just congested. I need to cough.”

I caught on to what he was saying. “So… we need to do the cough quad thingie?”

“Yeah.” He let himself flop backwards so that he was lying flat on the bed. I leaned over him, pushing my hands into his belly while he exhaled so he could cough.

“Better?” I asked, watching him with concern.

Kevin took a few deep breaths before he nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem. Let’s, uh… let’s get you cleaned up now.” I went into his bathroom and got an entire roll of toilet paper. In his plastic tub of medical supplies, I found a box of latex gloves and put on a pair to keep my hands from getting covered in shit. Then I took off his soiled underwear and wiped up as much as I could. The whole time, I held my breath and tried to keep my face blank, telling myself it was no different from changing Mason’s diaper. I didn’t want Kevin to know how disgusted I felt. It wasn’t his fault he was in this mess; it was mine, and I was determined to make up for letting him down.

“Can you go get my commode chair?” Kevin said quietly when I was done. “It’s in the bathroom.” I could tell he was embarrassed; he couldn’t even look me in the eye. He stared at the wall, tears streaming slowly down his cheeks.

I took the toilet paper back into the bathroom and brought out the commode. It was a simple wheelchair with an aluminum frame and a padded, waterproof seat with a hole in the middle so it could be used over the toilet and in the shower. I hoisted him onto it and wheeled him into the bathroom, where I unclamped his catheter so he could empty his bladder into the toilet.

Then I turned on the shower and took him inside. I used the handheld showerhead to hose him off, washing the stench away from his body with warm water and plenty of soap. “Are you feeling better now?” I asked as I bent down to wipe the backs of his legs with a washcloth. I was getting myself all wet, but that was the least of my concerns.

Kevin nodded. “Much. Thanks for doing this, Nick. I know it’s not the way you wanted to spend your Saturday morning.”

I shrugged. “No, but it’s not the way you wanted to spend it either. I’m sorry, Kev. I fucked up.”

“You’re not the only one. Erik should have been here. And where was AJ?”

“Sound asleep with his earbuds in.” I rolled my eyes. “He claimed he couldn’t hear Mason crying. I’m gonna make him change the next poopy diaper as payback.”

“I think you’ve dealt with your fair share of shit today,” Kevin agreed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” I carefully lifted his feet off the footplates one by one to wash the bottoms, then worked my way up the front of his legs.

Kevin cleared his throat. “If you put the washcloth in my hand, I can get the rest.”

“All right.” I pried open his fingers, placed the folded washcloth in his palm, and closed his fingers around it. While he clumsily washed his chest and the parts between his legs, I squirted some shampoo into my hand and lathered up his hair.

“Is Mason okay?” he asked, closing his eyes as I rubbed his scalp.

“Yeah, he’s fine. AJ’s feeding him now.”

“Thank god.” Kevin tipped his head back so I could rinse the shampoo out of his hair. When he finally opened his eyes again after I finished, I saw that they were red and watery.

“Sorry, dude, did I get shampoo in your eyes?”

“No,” he said shortly. It was then that I realized the droplets running down his face weren’t all from the shower. Some of them were tears.

“Kev? Are you okay?” I asked, gripping his shoulder.

He shrugged, then shook his head. “I feel like I failed him. It was the most frustrating feeling in the world, hearing him crying for me and knowing I couldn’t comfort him. I couldn’t even roll over enough to reach my phone and call one of y’all for help. I just hate being so helpless.”

A lump rose in my throat as I imagined how miserable he must have been, stuck in bed waiting for one of us to come help him. I swallowed hard, feeling guilty. “We’ll have to figure something out so this doesn’t happen again. AJ and I will start moving your phone to the other side of the bed when we turn you over so you can always reach it. And maybe we should get more baby monitors, like Mason has. We could put one in each bedroom.”

Kevin nodded, but said nothing. His tears continued to fall, mixing with the shower water. I knew he was self-conscious about being treated like a baby, but I thought my idea was a good one.

“Ah, well… we can talk about that more later. Are you ready to get out?”

He nodded again. I turned off the water and toweled him off before I wheeled him out of the shower. The chair left a trail of water across the hardwood floor as I took him back into the bedroom, where the bad smell lingered.

I picked up Kevin’s dirty underwear by the waistband, making a face as I held them up between my thumb and forefinger. “I’m gonna put these in AJ’s hamper as payback for sleeping through all this.”

His jaw dropped, but a mischievous little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You wouldn’t.”

“Watch me.” Snickering, I snuck down the hall to AJ’s room and stuffed the balled up boxer briefs into his laundry basket, beneath a layer of his own clothes so he wouldn’t notice them.

When I came back, Kevin was shaking his head. “You’re bad…”

“I know. Don’t you remember that time I took a shit in a sock and stuffed it into the bass drum?” I said as I went around opening all the windows to air out the room. “It stunk up the whole stage!”

He chuckled. “How could I forget? Didn’t Brian put you up to that?”

It was good to hear him laugh. “Yeah… I guess this is my payback for that.” I stripped the sheets off the mattress and took them downstairs to the laundry room, then came back up to put on clean linens.

“Looks like you took a shower, too,” Kevin said when I finally lifted him back onto the freshly made bed. “You’re soaked.”

I looked down at myself. My drenched t-shirt was clinging to my chest, and my drooping jeans had a dark, wet spot down the front that made it look like I’d pissed my pants. “It’s fine,” I lied. “I can finish here first.”

“Go change your clothes.” Kevin’s voice was firm. “Then you can help me put on mine.”

I covered him with his towel and hurried to my room to put on a dry t-shirt and a pair of clean pants. When I came back, Kevin had me check him for pressure sores before I put his clothes on. “What am I looking for exactly?” I asked as I turned him over onto his stomach.

“Any signs of skin breakdown or irritation: redness, bruising, swelling, blisters.”

“I don’t see anything like that,” I said, looking over his back, hips, butt, and legs.

Kevin let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

I felt relieved, too. No lasting damage done. “Now what?”

“Actually, can you get me my morning meds? I’m already running late, so I better take them before too much more time passes. They help with the pain and spasms.”

Pain? I wondered how much pain a paralyzed person could possibly feel, but I didn’t question him. I went back into his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, which was full of orange prescription bottles. Curious, I turned them around to look at their labels. I couldn’t even pronounce half of the names, but I recognized a few: Prozac, Valium, Percocet. There were some heavy duty drugs in there.

“Did you find my pill container?” I heard Kevin call from the other room. “It’s in the medicine cabinet!”

“Yep, I see it!” I shouted back, snatching the weekly pill organizer off the bottom shelf before I closed the cabinet. I opened the Saturday AM box and shook out a pile of pills into the shot glass Kevin kept on the counter. I brought it to him, sitting him up on the bed so he could swallow his pills with some water.

Then he talked me through the rest of his morning routine as I helped him hook up his leg bag, get dressed, do his stretches, transfer to his power chair, brush his teeth, and style his hair. It took almost two hours in total. No wonder he normally paid someone to do it.

“So where were you this morning, anyway?” he finally asked as I was shaving his face. “I’m not mad… just nosy.”

I smirked, feeling my own face redden. “If you must know, I was with a girl. I must have gone home from the club with her last night.”

“Must have?” Kevin raised his eyebrows. “You mean you don’t remember how you got there?”

I shrugged, avoiding eye contact as I concentrated on his chin. “Not really.”

“Nick…” I could hear the disapproval in his voice. “You need to start being more responsible. Not for me – for yourself. One of these days you’re gonna get yourself into real trouble.”

“We used protection,” I replied quickly, turning on the faucet to rinse off his razor.

“Well, that’s good, but I’m not just talking about an unwanted pregnancy. You could have been robbed… or drugged… or assaulted. It doesn’t just happen to women. Men get taken advantage of, too – especially men with money. I was worried about you.”

That made me feel even worse. “I can take care of myself,” I said without thinking. I regretted it almost immediately when I saw the wounded expression that flickered across his face. “Sorry… I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…”

“I know what you meant,” he said quietly. “You’re a grown man – I know that, too. But grown men still make mistakes and get into trouble sometimes, too. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“I know, and I appreciate your concern. It won’t happen again.” I turned to look at him in the mirror. “What do you think?”

“Looks good to me,” he replied, studying his reflection. “Thanks, brother. For everything.”

I nodded, but I still felt bad for not being there. I wasn’t the only one, though, I reminded myself as we went back into his bedroom. “What are you going to do about Erik?”

Kevin sighed. “I’m gonna call him.” He powered over to the bedside table and picked up his phone, slipping his hand through the strap on the back of his case so he could hold it. “He at least texted me earlier,” he said, as he looked at his notifications.

“He did? Lemme see.” I leaned over Kevin’s shoulder to read the text.

Hey Kevin! Sorry, but I’m not gonna make it over this morning. See you tomorrow!

“That’s it? No explanation or anything? And he couldn’t even bother to call you?”

Kevin shrugged. “I wouldn’t have been able to answer it if he had. I heard the text come through, but I couldn’t reach my phone to read it.”

I shook my head, feeling my heartbeat accelerate as anger surged through my veins. “He should have checked on you when you didn’t text back to make sure you were okay. He left you high and dry with very little notice. That’s unacceptable. You should fire him.”

He gave me a look. “Not very forgiving, are you?”

“Dude, I fully admit I fucked up, too,” I said, holding up my hands in defense. “But this is different. This is his job, and you’re his employer, not his friend. You’re paying him to be here by a certain time to take care of you. You depend on him just to be able to get out of bed and go about your day, and he let you down. Seriously… you should let him go.

Kevin sighed again. “My mom would say the same thing. She didn’t want me to hire him in the first place. She would be livid if she knew what happened today.”

“Well, if you’re not gonna listen to me, at least listen to your mom. She’s right, you know.”

He nodded. “I know. But if I fire him, then I have to find someone to take the weekend shifts on short notice. Who’s gonna get me up tomorrow?”

“I will,” I said quickly. “I’ll fill in until you find someone else. Someone reliable. There were other applicants besides him and Greg, right?”

“Yeah, but no one I liked better than these two. Well, no other guys, anyway.”

“Girls?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“One girl.”

“Was she hot?”

“She was cute,” he admitted. “Way too young for me, though, and not my type, if that’s what you were thinking. She had a good interview, but… I dunno… I just don’t want a woman washing me and dressing me and helping me with the bathroom stuff.”

“Why not? You’d rather have another dude touching your dick?”

Kevin’s face reddened. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds weird, but… yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, I think you should get over that and give this girl a call. Girls are usually more reliable than guys, anyway.”

“I’ll give it some thought,” he said. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and get something to eat. I’m starving. I bet you are, too.”

No, I’m tired and hungover, not hungry, I thought, but I just nodded and followed him out of the room.

We took the elevator to the first floor, where we found AJ playing with Mason in the family room. They had gotten out the shape-sorting toy that reminded me of the exercise I’d seen Kevin doing in occupational therapy. Mason was much faster at picking up the blocks, though he hadn’t figured out which holes to put them through yet. He was happy just to chew on them.

“Hey, there you guys are,” AJ said happily. “Everything good?”

Kevin and I glanced at each other, silently agreeing not to give AJ all the gory details. “It is now,” he replied, and I nodded.

“Dude, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you earlier. I fell asleep listening to my meditation music and must have slept right through it.”

“I forgive you. Thanks for watching Mason.”

“No problem. Now that you guys are here, though, I’m gonna go grab a shower. Tag, you’re it, Prick,” he said, smacking me in the shoulder.

I guess I deserved that. I left Kevin with Mason for a few minutes while I went to the kitchen to make us some sandwiches for lunch. We were eating at the kitchen table when AJ came back downstairs, his hair still damp from his shower.

“Dude, do you have any air freshener?” he asked Kevin. “I dunno why, but my room smells like shit.”

“Must just be you, bro,” I said, fighting to keep a straight face. “Maybe you need to start wiping your ass better after you take a shit so you won’t have skid marks in your underwear.”

AJ flipped me the middle finger as Kevin told him where to find air freshener. When he went back upstairs with a can of it, we both burst out laughing.

“You’re bad,” Kevin said again, smiling at me.

I grinned back. “I know.”

***